After destroying the morality of America with her hilarious and catchy songs, the ever-delicious Willam has set her sights on The Holy Land of Israel, where she made a few appearances in Tel Aviv and marched in the Tel Aviv Pride parade (solo, now that her girl group DWV is dead).
Fortunately, she took a moment out of her busy jet-set schedule and graced us with some highlights of why she thinks Tel Aviv, the center of LGBT life in the Middle East, is such a spectacular place.
- The gay beach (Hilton Beach) is right next to the dog beach so they can keep all the bitches together. Although the roads along the beach are very ’90s Miami. The roads are terrible with lots of run down/vacant/blighted apartment buildings. And they have the worst taxi drivers I’ve yet to experience so far out of four continents I’ve been on. So rude it made me laugh. I thought I gave no fucks. Shiiiit. You ain’t seen no fucks given until you’ve tried to tell an Israeli cab driver to turn on the air and maybe not smoke and yell in his phone.
- Another hotspot is any set of stairs on a Saturday because waiting for Kosher elevators will take up half your day. The kosher elevators (much like air conditioners) are all on timers to get around the no-machines/work rule on the Jewish Sabbath.
- The Dead Sea is salty water you can float in with mud that you smear on yourself. If you shut your eyes, you can pretend it’s a combo of two very specific types of fetishes.
- Dana International — Find her and meet her. She is a legendary Eurovision winner and welcoming, warm representative for Israel. Everyone there seemed really nice actually. They like to talk and are 100 percent cool with LGBT folks. Totally Westernized in that sense.
- The men are beyond compare. I think the three year mandatory army service for citizens does wonders on all their bodies.