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Without Bottoms, Gay Men Wouldn’t Have Any Sex

Often treated as the butt of a joke and the second-class citizens of the gay community, gay men who receive their partners’ members should actually be celebrated, argues Davey Wavey. You’re free to guess whether Mr. Wavey’s rant is motivated by his own position preferences.

On:           Apr 28, 2010
Tagged: , , , ,
    • Nate

      This rant would have been much more compelling had he been on all fours in underwear why delivering it.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 6:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Michael

      Um, as a top I can assure you the bottom holds all the power in a relationship. They don’t call it a ‘power bottom’ for nothing.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 7:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • LALAcleveland

      I think the “bottom-top” world is stupid and shows immature sexual expression in people. I think versatile gays are the best/healthiest relationships.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 7:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Eric

      @LALAcleveland: Yes, I agree.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 7:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Caine

      I don’t know about my fellow bottoms, but the guys around my town
      worship me!…it’s almost a role I play. I love being everyone’s favorite little pillow-biter.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 7:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • TONYD

      The kid can’t say, “femininity” or recite his 2 minute rant without looking at notes- the little hamster in the wheel in his head has left the building, or ate itself.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 7:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jon

      Gotta love Davey Wavey!!! As a young gay guy he does help me. Furthermore I feel more ok with myself being a bit fem with him and the TV show Glee.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 7:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • The Bony Man

      @LALAcleveland: Agreed. I feel that the relationship is a lot more equal and loving when both sides share in the giving and receiving. When both sides only take one role, then power paradigms build up which serve as a barrier to true relationship unity. I know, I am sounding a bit too Michael Foucault, but it’s true.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 7:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Qjersey

      My turn, your turn is always hotter.
      Note to bottoms: Get off your back and do some of the work for a change. PNP bottoms are the worst. Ugh, you’re just a human dildo to those boys.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 8:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • alan brickman

      Davey is so cute…a porn career maybe?

      Apr 28, 2010 at 8:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Javier

      Dude really does talk with his hands. A lot.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 8:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jeffree

      0MG, I never ever thought about that before: Gosh, without willing/ eager bottoms to shag, I’d have no sex. Kind of profound. Thanks Professor Wavey Davey!

      I hope his next videos deal with What life would be like without:
      –Top guys
      –The Gym

      Apr 28, 2010 at 8:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • R


      If he had to find out what he’d do without Youtube he’d probably die.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 8:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • wannabegay

      @LALAcleveland, the bony man, qjersey and others: i wouldn’t generalize. what makes a relationship (any kind, even the short ones) is the connection between those two (or maybe more) individuals. it’s not like someone find the perfect solution for gay interaction (being versatile), it’s about what makes YOU feel good, what makes the other person feel good. sex, love, play – all these are components and each one of us has different tastes (if we can call them this way).

      i find this video a little disturbing… it’s kinda stereotyping, to be honest, because it separates the world in two big categories and it just wrong…

      Apr 28, 2010 at 8:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • adman

      Ugh, nothing worse than a pushy, demanding bottom with umpteen million rules to go by. If I wanted to f*ck that, I’d get a woman. No thanks Davey, you need to work on the Power part of power bottom. Being demanding and flipping over in .2 seconds after hitting the bedroom actually suits the millennials, aka the worst lovers ever invented. If I ever get an erotic thought of Davey Wavey I’ll eat a bullet.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 8:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • scott ny'er

      i really try but seriously, everytime I try to listen to him, like a minute in, I have to stop the clip and go elsewhere. There’s something about him that I can’t listen to.

      oh and really, many gays make bottom jokes and treat bottoms in a derogatory manner? I didn’t know that.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 10:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • pavement1762

      anti-femininity is essentially misogyny. It’s frustrating to see gay men perpetuate these sentiments, especially when they’re often root causes of homophobia. I don’t know if Davey was getting at this, but I think he brought up an interesting point about this fear of feminism and gender expression traditionally associated with females. It’s a necessary dialogue if we want to end anti-homosexual beliefs

      Apr 28, 2010 at 10:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nick


      I don’t think that’s fair. Because someone would rather get fucked in the ass than fuck someone in the ass or vice versa doesn’t mean that scars their relationship.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 10:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • D'oh, The Magnificent

      I am top. I wouldn’t be a top without a bottom. This conversation is stupid.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 10:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • TONYD

      @pavement1762: Agreed, and it would help if he didn’t trip over what he was trying to say, or thought it out more because it made him look like a dork. My prior statements about him have nothing to do about his mannerisms, just his not so well thought out rants and the speed vs pitch of his voice- a bit nasally, long winded and high pitched, like bagpipes .

      Apr 28, 2010 at 10:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • anyway

      Davey Wavey is hot. And the point he makes is valid. Seriously, who wouldn’t tag that? He’s cute, adorable (evidently nauseatingly so to some), and smoking hot. End of story.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 10:52 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nobdy

      Other gays mock bottoms? How silly. If it’s straights we’re talking about, who gives a fuck. Just acknowledge that their prudeness is a result of never having enjoyed their own prostate.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 10:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • B

      No. 23 · Nobdy wrote, “Other gays mock bottoms? ” … well, there was the Kinsey Sicks Christmas program, where they offended all the Christians (if any) in the audience by saying, “Over 30, never married, hangs out with 12 guys …”

      The punch line was not “gay” but “bottom”. That will probably land them on the “Papal list of heretics” that the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence claim to be on (although others suspect there is no such list due to not being able to find an official copy).

      Apr 29, 2010 at 12:08 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lynn David

      Odd… even a might bit queer. Whatever happened to the ‘Newlywed Game’ skit where the MC tells the three couples (one gay, one straight, and one lesbian) for the top to go off. Right away, one of the lesbians leave. The MC has to explain the meaning of ‘top’ to the straight couple (and even then they’re not sure). And the two gay guys are arguing (though unheard) over what every gay man in the audience understands to be over whose turn it is to be the top in the relationship. They end up putting a sight-punchline on the joke by tossing a coin and the ‘loser’ (ie the top of the moment) storms off in a huff.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 12:33 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Henry Holland

      Top, bottom, versatile, what.ever. I hated getting fucked the two times I did it and pounding someone’s bunghole is really boring. Now, a nice hard cock in my mouth, a nice set of balls to suck, lick and fondle and the sweet taste of cum (unless they’ve been eating seafood, in which case Ewwwww), give THAT to me any day of the week.

      Not all gay men buy in to the top/bottom nonsense, in fact most of my friends don’t do anal at all. Mileage will vary, of course.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 12:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Steve Baker

      Davey are you familiar with the song “Every Inch of My Love”? It totally popped into my head watching your vid. I’m an older man still a total top and I think you have the right to do it your way. If your top knows what he is doing then the bottom really does get most of the joy. Most straight people think it hurts. LOL I also think you’re a total doll boy.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 12:56 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Forrest

      Do whatever makes you happy. I have always been a bottom. My BF’s have always loved being dominant tops. GRRR. With a little light spanking too… Works for us!

      Apr 29, 2010 at 7:46 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lanjier

      I very much like this guy, and he really made me think today. I was thinking too, that tops may like the humiliation aspect of being a top, and do that in conversations and in blogs. So they may say some humiliating things, It can just be in good fun. But I do agree with him about questioning our own motives and watching what we say and to embrace all of them members of the community with love, kindness, generosity and respect.

      He is a great guy, very helpful to the gay community, even though many like to have some fun with him. I like the brown color on his skin, and that line between his pecs.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 7:55 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sam

      I find the exclusive-top/exclusive-bottom status is not only self-limiting but also narrows the options available to your partner (who doesn’t necessarily fall into one role). You don’t need to possess an especially impressive endowment to top, nor should bottoming imply femininity (or, for that matter, laziness). Versatility FTW!

      Apr 29, 2010 at 10:36 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • D'oh, The Magnificent

      I don’t see why we can’t each of us like what we like without some idiot making a statement about it.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 11:18 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • D'oh, The Magnificent

      by the way, i think davey is cute, but a bit annoying too. He’s the kind of guy I would have to tune out half the things he says just to enjoy being around him. He talks like he’s imparting the wisdom of the ages, and that’s annoying.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 11:19 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • KP

      Do what you want but the last thing I’m interested in is being controlled or controlling someone else. Glad that as a kid I was lucky to be inexperienced and had a boyfried just as inexperienced and we learned to do all kinds of things and enjoy them! My perspective is that if you get so much pleasure on top or on the bottom, why not let your other half experience the same pleasure? At the same time, if I haven’t fucked or been fucked for a bit I may well tend to seek one or the other so I do understand tendencies. Just not interested in limitations.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 11:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • D'oh, The Magnificent

      @KP: So now you are going to tell people what they are suppose to enjoy with their own body. WHo the fuck are you? Great and important in your own mind. The great thing about human sexuality is diversity of interests and tastes, and the human body for each of us, comes with it a wide variety of things that some of us enjoy. You make assumptions based on your issues rather than on understanding me or anyone else who is different from you. What’s more is the faux openness that requires everyone enjoy sex as a versatile sexual partner in order to prove they are open. That’s not proving one is open. That’s just enforcing a new standard for all. If someone gets into being a bottom, and its how they express their sexuality, it is none of your business and more importantly it is not for you to dictate how they should feel sexual pleasure. You don’t live in their body. Your experiences do not matter with regard to how their body feels to them. I hate fake open men. They always pretend they are open, but they are just facists in their own way. Good for you that you like versality. Find a man like you and you can be happy. Stop trying to force your desires on others.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 1:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • al

      I’ve only heard jokes and stereotypes about bottoms coming from straight guys, not from the gay community. Then again, I don’t know that many other gays. I’m a fan of versatility but I think any guy who looks down on one’s preference has issues and isn’t comfortable with his own sexuality.

      Plenty of straight guys believe you would only receive anal sex for masochistic reasons or if you want to be treated as a woman. I’ve surprised a few of my friends who asked “It’s cool that you’re gay, but you don’t actually like to take it in the butt, do you?”

      Apr 29, 2010 at 2:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • t in cali

      ugh he annoys the hell outta me. really.

      and the whole top bottom thing is soooo 70’s.

      WE all have more masculine/ feminine traits. Moods, parts of us.

      I found when i came out at a young age (14) it was told to me that i had to find out if i was a top or bottom. In my mind, i thought why did i have to choose? Can’t i enjoy both? So many of my older gay friends are stuck in this un ending quest to find this masculine, str8 acting ‘top’ man who doesn’t exist.
      When will we be happy in who we are and stop assigning these limiting labels to ourselves. Even trannies top, and they’re ‘women’.

      PS most of the ‘dedicated bottoms’ i’ve encountered are whores.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 3:21 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jarred

      Honestly, when I began my first relationship, I thought being versatile was best, too. I didnt want to fit any stereotypes. However, my boyfriend asked if I wanted to bottom first, and we would see where it would go from there. Since then, I’ve only ever bottomed, and I love it. He is actually still a virgin, as he doesn’t like the idea of bottoming himself, which is fine with me.
      I don’t see where being a very submissive bottom is so wrng or harmful. If my bf ever wants to change, he has said he will tell me. If you’re not enjoying yourself as a bottom, it could be your top’s problem more than yours.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 4:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jarred

      I agree with Forrest’s line of thinking; if your partner wants to be an exclusive top, let him be one, but encourage him to be an aggressive one as well. My bf loves to rough me up a little- its ok; step outside the boundaries, and just do everything your top could want for a change. A good top will usually make it worth your while lol.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 5:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nicholas

      @Henry Holland: You spoke the perfect words! I always felt I was the only one who felt that topping/bottoming wasn’t the best thing and be all end all of gay sex. I LOVE cock, sucking it, licking it, watching it squirt, feeling the intimacy of holding and making it feel good with your mouth and hands! Or lovingly watching someone do that to your own junk…it’s hot. Sex, eh, it can be fun and different and okay, but cock is what’s hottt sexxxy intimate and fun to me.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 7:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

      Looks like being a bottom will hurt LOL! Nah Chill! I’m good with being the “top”.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 8:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Storm

      Total top? Total bottom? The only difference between a top and a bottom is a fifth of jack and the crack of dawn.


      Apr 29, 2010 at 11:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • D'oh, The Magnificent

      @Storm: I’ve met guys with whom I tell them that I am a top, and they pull your game either with trying to force drugs on me or booze. When I say I am not interested in drugs, but okay with booze, and they still try to force it on me anyway regarding the sex- they become annoyed that I am still uninterested.

      Normally, we end up with neither one of us being sexually satisfied because they want one thing, and I another, and rather than respecting that before hand, when I told them I’ve experimented a lot early on to know what I like sexually (including bottoming a few times just to be sure among other sexual exploration) to know what I like- they assume “Oh, he doesn’t know.” I’ll convince him.

      The single worse thing you can do in sex is not respect your partner. Whatever their boundaries are. Even if its BDSM there are boundaries.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 11:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hyhybt

      All right, I’m afraid asking this will only bring trouble, but have to anyway:

      “However, my boyfriend asked if I wanted to bottom first, and we would see where it would go from there. Since then, I’ve only ever bottomed, and I love it. He is actually still a virgin, as he doesn’t like the idea of bottoming himself, which is fine with me.”

      Where does the silly notion that you can have sex and still be a virgin, so long as it’s only a certain kind or from a certain position, come from?

      May 1, 2010 at 12:52 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Joey

      “Where does the silly notion that you can have sex and still be a virgin, so long as it’s only a certain kind or from a certain position, come from?”

      That’s a damn good question.

      May 1, 2010 at 5:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bryan

      Davey Wavey wouldn’t disturb me so much if he wasn’t an almost 30yr old man who still talks and acts somewhat like he’s 18.

      May 6, 2010 at 1:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • kev

      I like this guy. He’s cute, has a great sense of humor and hell, he’s HOT. I’d def hit that ass of his

      Sep 28, 2010 at 5:31 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kei


      Well he looks like he’s 18 too so it’s ok ;)

      Nov 2, 2010 at 3:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • 0gaugebear


      exactly the same thoughts here when watching this kid. It always amazes me how “power bottoms” will go to such lengths to justify their needs. Always the same: the quicker the guy is to assert the power bottom agenda, the lousier the lay!

      I’m pleased these guys are so quick to show their true colours – but they may just stand a better chance of “getting it” the way they want if they learn to perform as something other than a one-trick pony.

      Dec 18, 2010 at 4:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Fitz

      Just a language thing.. but when I think of “Power Bottoms”, I don;t think of pushy bottoms or strictly-bottoms. I think of guys who can take 5 of 6 guys with huge dicks, one after the other.

      Dec 18, 2010 at 5:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jay

      i think he makes a valid point though, i am one bottom who gets turned on by vulgar comments about me in my position. lol, guess that shows that i’m sub as well as bottom.

      Jan 16, 2011 at 12:08 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ewe

      Bottoms are actually in control.

      Jan 16, 2011 at 12:21 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nate


      Jan 16, 2011 at 12:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Tim

      Vers Guys just take it anyway they can get it. Someone True in their self and Role is more picky.

      May 18, 2011 at 2:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Matt

      There are various other methods to have sex other than fudge packing. My guy and I have really hot sex and we never need condoms, enemas, douching, and HIV tests. And there’s never any blood or fecal matter involved either. It’s good clean, hot sex. The good news is if bottoms gave it up there’d be no more rectal problems for them, and we would eliminate HIV/AIDS in the gay male community. 1 out of 5 adult gay males are now HIV+ and that’s 30 years into the AIDS crisis. Kind of pathetic. Can you imagine what the world would be like if 1 out of 5 straight people or 1 out of 5 lesbians were HIV+? Think about what they’re doing or not doing and what gay men are doing to themselves.

      Sep 23, 2012 at 5:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Matt

      @ewe: They may be in control but look at the damage their doing to their own body.

      Sep 23, 2012 at 5:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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