It’s nearly inevitable that everyone will at some point have a sexual fantasy about a platonic friend — you’re around them all the time, you’re already attracted to their personality enough to be friends and even by the most conservative estimates out there, we think about sex upwards of 100 times a day. Do the math.
You might have even had a fling or seven with a close friend — hey, why not?
But there’s a fine line between acting on a fantasy and overstepping a relationship’s boundaries, and one confused woman on Reddit will hopefully avoid the latter by acting on the advice she received about whether or not she should hit up her gay male friend for some sexy time.
“I’m a 30 year old female who wants to be sexually intimate with her gay best friend,” she wrote.
My friend is also 30 and we’ve been best friends since 7th grade. We were always just friends, he came out in 9th grade, but we always knew that he had a thing for guys. Anyhow, we talk about our sexual flings like friends do and it never really did anything for me. Then I was talking to him about how crappy porn is and how I hate that porn always involves a screaming woman and a silent guy, so he suggested I checkout some gay porn. Well, that’s when everything changed. It was amazing, the sounds the guys made did things to me that I can’t describe and now I can’t stop thinking about my gay best friend in a sexual way. I fantasize about sleeping with him, pegging him, doing a mmf with him or even just watching him have sex with another guy while masturbate in the corner. These are the only thoughts that get me off now when I masturbate. I don’t know if I could ever make them a reality. I don’t think my friend sees me in a sexual way, when I give him a seductive glare to get something I want he’ll say “Your Jedi mindpowers don’t work on me.” We kiss on the mouth to say hello and bye but we’ve never madeout. We’ve always just been friends. I don’t know if it would even be fairgame to ask him if he’s ever wanted to makeout or have sex with me.
Should I ask him?
The response was a unanimous: No!
“If you value your friendship I would not ask him,” one commenter wrote, adding, “In my experience, the realization that someone you do not think of in a sexual way thinks of you in a sexual way can not only make time spent together awkward in future, but can ruin memories of all the good times you spent together.”
Another offered some practical advise: “Some fantasies need to stay fantasies. Just break out the vibrator and maintain your friendship.”
“I cringed so hard my forehead cramped up,” wrote another person. We feel you there.
Yet another suggested there’s a double-standard for a straight person asking a gay person to have hetero sex: “I’m just saying if a straight dude posted here about how he wanted to pressure his lesbian friend into straight stuff it’d be at -257 and every one of the op’s comments would be at a similar score.”
We have to agree with the chorus on this one — nothing she says indicates any interest on his part in a sexual relationship.
Don’t mess up a good thing.