A desperate housewife recently wrote in the advice column Annie’s Mailbox seeking help about her hot bisexual husband.
“I met my husband in college,” the letter begins. “He was outgoing, handsome and a star athlete. We now have two beautiful babies and, I thought, a perfect marriage.”
But, as is often the case, not everything is it seems.
Related: Straight Men Are A Lot More Bisexual Than You Might Think
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The letter continues: “A month ago, we had dinner with a couple we’ve known for years. One of them said something about ‘bisexuals,’ to which I replied, ‘There is no such thing. You are either gay or straight.’ Everyone looked uncomfortable.”
It wasn’t until the next day when the woman realized why the people are her dinner table had responded the way they did.
“The next day, my husband told me that he is bisexual,” the woman says. “He said he’d had a relationship with another man in college before he met me. But he reassured me that I had nothing to worry about because he loves me and has no desire to be with anyone else of either sex.”
Related: Bisexuals Are Like Totally Normal People And This Video Proves It
The woman goes on to say she found her husband’s confession deeply troubling and she wishes he had never told her.
“I’ve been upset ever since,” she writes. “I believe my husband when he says he is not interested in anyone else, but I have to ask, is there really such a thing as ‘bisexual’? My sister says that is just what people claim before they come out as gay. And second, how can I trust my husband when he kept this secret from me for so long?”
She continues by saying she does not want to go to couple’s counseling for fear that her husband may decide to leave her.
“What if we go and then, just like my sister says, this bisexual stuff is all bogus and he decides he is gay?” he asks. “I don’t want to end our marriage. I just want to turn back the clock so I can think of my husband the way I did before.”
The letter is signed, “Confused Wife.”
Related: Is It Harder To Be Bisexual Than Gay? These Guys Think So
The good folks at Annie’s Mailbox get right down to business with their response.
“Your sister is giving you damaging and incorrect information,” they said. “Decades ago, people may have believed that one was either gay or straight, and that bisexuals were simply hiding their true selves, but this is no longer considered accurate.”
The response continues: “We have come to understand that sexuality is more complicated and that some people are attracted to both sexes. And one’s sexual orientation has nothing to do with remaining faithful to one’s partner.”
“Your husband is the same man you fell in love with. If you trust him, your marriage is solid,” the response concludes. “But if you find that your marriage is floundering over this, consider counseling from someone who specializes in LGBT marriages and can address your specific concerns.”
Alternatively, she could take the advice of queer performance artist Peaches:
Related: CDC Survey Finds A Surprising Number Of Straight Dudes Have Had Gay Sex
Dan Steele
Ah yes, another married and “straight” guy. So many men claim to be “straight”. Just come out of the proverbial closet and be happy.
Guy068
Dude should run, not walk. Her lack of trust and wrongheaded beliefs are going to end this and the longer he drags it out, the worse it’ll be for him and the kids…
Rob Laughlin
After reading the article, I understand the wife’s perspective. Hooking up once as experimentation is one thing. Coming out as bi to your wife is another. Good luck with that one…
Josh447
Very cool the hubby is being honest. We need more examples like this. They will be fine. The wife is just in a strong learning curve. It’s very different w bisexuals than gay guys marrying to hide out. Very different indeed.
startenout
She probably just needs some time to get used to the idea without her ignorant sister being around. In any relationship, why does it matter who they dated before if they are in love with you now?
bottom250
Honey, many straight men want a hoover of a mouth on them and to have the pleasure of being in a nice tight a-hole. I have been with many straight men.
Brian Nesbitt
I disagree completely. The guy married her, has to our knowledge remained faithful to her and has built a life and a family with her. Bi people exist and it doesn’t mean that he’s just waiting to come out as gay. Shame on those who belittle bi people. Especially the wife. GTFO.
Oh, and no, I’m not bi. I’m gay.
Robyn Phillips
This is waaaay more common than I had once presumed. With the whole LGBT community being on the forefront of the news within the past few years, more and more of my friends are admitting to having been in same sex “flings” or “phases” or “experimentations” in their younger years. However they wish to define such occurences, point is, they all fall into that same category, regardless of whether or not they’re continuing on with the same behavior today.
Mykaels
Reason # 873 why I love being a gay man.
bottom250
@Mykaels: Preaching to the queer I mean choir.
Damon Robbins
This wife is unknowingly sabotaging a great marriage.Part of marriage is growing as a couple,he felt comfortable after years of marriage to share a piece of his past.Bisexuality is much more common than people will admit and I know because I am one!
John Kuehnle
Like nobody out there had a life before marriage, she’s annoyed that it was a guy and it has her wondering.
Glücklich
Like the wife’s never done some diving.
bottom250
@Glücklich: You made me giggle
Bauhaus
Shocker! Bi guy marries clueless woman, has kids with her, the truth comes out, she’s unnerved. All in the day of a closet-case, secrets, and bullshit all around. Good times.
Bauhaus
@Glücklich:
Isn’t that a college graduation requirement for women?
Black Pegasus
No such thing as bisexuality. The woman has every reason to believe she may have married a gay man.
alanh1249
geeeeeeezzzz F!(&%$g women!. Always reading way too far into things and getting all emotional. (another reason a woman shouldn’t be president )
GET OVER IT !!!!!
Atomicrob
Had the wife been told before they were married–rather than the last one to know at a dinner table–she may have felt less betrayed. This was a fundamentally dishonest way to disclose his sexuality. I have had a relationship with an alleged “bisexual” and while I suppose it’s theoretically possible, most men in a conventional marriage are closeted gays. They require the veneer of heterosexuality so they can function more effectively in a world that prefers the commonplace. As they age, they realize they have powerful yet suppressed sexual urges and then act out at the emotional expense of both the wife and the lover … Stay away from these conflicted types unless you want to be hurt.
Josh447
Maybe he’s getting her ready for a request for one night out a week with a guy.
Juanjo
I am always amused by those who immediately assume any guy who has sex with another guy even once must be gay. I cannot begin to count the number of guys I have met in my life who experimented a little in high school and/or college before deciding that what floated their boat was one gender or the other or with some of them – both genders. More than one of them went on to marry and woman and live happy, content lives with their spouse.
Glücklich
@Bauhaus:
Unshaven armpits and scissoring 101. Advanced studies include reeking of patchouli, militant veganism, and placard-making.
Bauhaus
@Glücklich:
LOL! Tracy Chapman/k.d. lang approved!
Wooly
I bet if it was another woman, the wife wouldn’t have such a hard time with it. She should thank her husband for telling her and move on. Aman has the right to experiment. Its not like he has been unfaithful to her.
John Malin
Let’s see, he’s honest with her about his prior sex life and she is all hissy fit over it. Her trust in him has completely dissolved and now she’s unsure of everything. Firstly, she should probably look at her own insecurities and why she’s reacting so violently to the admission. He obviously loves her and wants to be honest, but she would be more comfortable if he had said nothing. If I were her, I’d make an appointment with a counselor and discuss my reactions. Then follow the counselor’s advice.
Damien Malachi
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1H-Y7MAASkg
da90027
the wife sounds like a total dimwit…it sounds like she is bent on ruining a good thing…who cares what he did years ago in college? Many people experiement and do all kinds of things in college they don’t repeat later. She sounds like she is not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Jeff Eiselman
With her attitude, she’ll be divorced soon. You know their sex life has disappeared!
UUMjeff
@Black Pegasus: Really? I’m an “out” gay man in a 35+ year committed relationship, and yet like the guy in this article I am bisexual – sexually and affectonally attracted to both genders. I don’t bother talking about it unless the subject comes up because it doesn’t matter. But anyone who wants to tell me that there is no such thing as bisexuality is claiming to know MY experience of MY sexuality better than I do, and I’m not exactly sure how that’s possible.
nicoinnz
The “perfect” marriage. God sakes woman. Who or what are trying to be? Say that was the first mistake – “planning” the all round ideal husband. Girlfriend take a leaf – learn more about yourself and meet people besides clinging to the college jock from day one. He moved on. Time you did…
Carrie L McClure
This is a difficult issue for even straight folk. You want to know my number…really? And senarios? You sure about that? Everyone is always sooooooo happy after one of those discussions. Said no one ever.
Creamsicle
If bisexuals want to destroy the stime against them in both the straight and gay communities then they should really follow this husband’s example. The more people who are open about their sexual orientation the less stigma there will be against them because people will have a human face to attach to the idea of bisexuality. It’s the whole political advancement idea behind coming out in general. The more fearful you act the more fearful you should expect others to act.
Sansacro
@Black Pegasus: We create our own realty, baby. Enjoy the very limited one you created for yourself. . .
Chris
I have no idea how much of this woman’s reaction is the shock of her just learning something about someone you think you know so well. But for her sake, she needs to work things through with her husband.
Only in fairy tales are there “and they lived happily ever after” endings.
dean3000
The guys a dick. If he was honest about his life then the bi hookups would have come up at some stage. He wronged his wife
Stephanie Sampson
I think it’s okay for her to be mad about such a big secret bring hidden from her for so long. And there relationship seems doomed to fail anyways because of all the insecurities it brought forth. She also seems to have this “perfect” image of her husband in her head and now that he’s no longer the perfection. If the husband hid that from her for so long what else did he or is he hiding. And the fact she is not open to any help from a non biased professional makes her not open to change and she is set in her ways of a perfect world where the realty just came tumbling in.
Curtispsf
@dean3000: You’re the DICK here. The guy’s being punished for something he did BEFORE he met his wife and now she’s going into meltdown mode. Get a grip, girl!
Mack
@Guy068: I don’t think she has anything to worry about but something tells me she’s just not going to let it go. She will drive him away. She “worries” why he kept it a secret from her-unless they actually discussed who they slept with it before they got married it would have been a non-issue.
esemple
She does not deserve him. Period.
dean3000
@Curtispsf: nah most people discuss past relationships at some point when they’re getting serious. Unless he didn’t have any feelings towards those men
oddchild1
Girl has sex with a girl in college and get married to man, no one bats an eye. Guy has sex in college with a guy in collegeand marries a woman, and everyone calls him a faggot. This is the culture the people damanding he come out as agay and leave his wife are supporting, get it through your thick skulls, sexual activity and sexul identity are two different things. Otherwise the christians are right and gay people don’t exist and gay people are just strraights who refuse to accept the truth.
Aromaeus
@oddchild1: All of this!
The wife is overreacting and her sister sounds like a bigot. The husband had no real obligation to disclose the information to her. I’m guessing the reason he kept the information to himself is because he had an idea she’d act this way over it. I do think though that for anyone who identifies as bisexual or something else on the spectrum it’s just best to get that out in the open so it’s not an “issue” later. You should want to be with someone whose completely okay with who you are before you make a lifetime commitment.
Brian
Male homosexual desire exists in all men. Yep, all men. In some men it is strong, in others it is weak.
Historically, male homosexual desire has been oppressed for one very important reason: it is very powerful. The church and feminists have opposed male homosexual desire because it leads to the reduction of a woman’s position in society. Keep in mind that the church is an embodiment of female values and that feminism is an embodiment of female privilege. Both are pro-female.
Gay rights was invented as an accommodation to feminism – i.e. to make women feel less threatened by male homosexual desire. It shrunk male homosexual desire to the concept of “identity” and the confines of small spaces where men could play with men, but not outside of that.
oddchild1
@Aromaeus: The problem is we need to push our culture to stop making straight the default and preferred sexual orientation.This is at it’s core what creates homophobia. We need to accept without question the self identifications of people no matter what their past is, so that everyone’s sexual identity stops being stigmatized. Every gay person that says someone who self identifies as straight and has had sex with a man is lying is doing nothing but supporting and perpetuating the culture that creates homophobia.
oddchild1
@Brian: It is patriarchy that says that any man who has sex with a man is inferior, it is patriarchy that crated the church, it is patriarchy that has oppressed homosexuality; feminism is fighting that; you are part of the problem.
Brian
@oddchild1: You make a fascinating point about the bisexual double standard, and that is that men are far more accepting of female bisexuality than women are of male bisexuality.
It’s a double standard which women use to their advantage, and is symptomatic of the privileges which feminism has created for women. As men, we need to reject such privileges for women.
Gay-identifying men are known enablers of female privilege. They will go along with the bisexual double standard because it further cements the relationship between gay-identifying men and feminists, a relationship that is needed in order to maintain the liberal coalition.
Brian
@oddchild1: Patriarchy is an acknowledgement of male strength but the church is an embodiment of female values.
oddchild1
@Brian: Female homosexuality and bisexuality is not accepted it is objectified there is a difference. The only privileged class in our culture are cisgendered heterosexual men; because his is the default class that is any one deviates from they will be cast down and treated as second class. This is patriarchy at work not feminism.
William Howell
oddchild1
@Brian: Patriarchy is the culture that created the church; it demands violence from men, it demands that they suppress their emotions, it demands, they breed, patriarchy is what turns men into breeders rather than people; this is why patriarchy stigmatizes homosexuality. This is why the church stigmatizes homosexuality. This is the reason why female sexuality is stigmatized as well, because they are supposed to be bred by one man, they are only incubators for the sons of a man, this is why slut shaming exists. This is how patriarchy oppresses both men and women.
Musk
That letter was laden with hypocrisy. I suggest this lady educate herself real fast!
Cielo Perdomo
If it was before you, it doesn’t matter.
Brian
@oddchild1: Liberalism has created the bisexual double standard – don’t deny it. Women exploit it in order to exert power over men. Women have always used sexual consent to exert power over men but liberalism extended the power grab to female bisexuality, glamorizing it at the expense of male bisexuality.
Under liberalism, women are even allowed to fake their sexuality, including bisexuality. It’s not the church’s fault so much as the feminists’ fault as well as the fault of the gay rights movement.
Brian
@oddchild1: Women don’t have the same sexuality as men. Women are designed by Nature to be receivers and incubators. Men are designed by Nature to be givers and satyrs. You are making a huge mistake if you think these differences are due to the church or “patriarchy”. They are due to Mother Nature – repeat, Mother Nature.
There is no conspiracy here.
Brian
Many of you don’t seem to understand that the gay rights movement was created to make women feel less threatened by male homosexual desire. As I said before, the gay rights movement shrunk male homosexual desire to an identity and to small spaces where men could play with each other.
This is one of the reasons why the gay rights movement is opposed to male homosexual desire outside of the confines of the identity and these spaces. The gay rights movement represents a total surrender to female privilege, including the female privilege of being able to use girl-girl to titillate men in the mainstream.
Why do you think Katy Perry had a no. 1 hit with I Kissed A Girl? I’m still waiting for the male version…..but it ain’t gonna happen so long as liberalism rules.
Under liberalism, if a woman says she’s bisexual, she’s “hot and sexy”, even if she’s faking it. Under the same liberalism, if a man says he’s bisexual, it threatens her. He must therefore be segregated, divorced and called “gay”.
John Gaunt
Homophobic bitch
oddchild1
@Brian: Conservatism is the political wing that deamnds everyone be straight; you are helping them perpetuate this.
oddchild1
@Brian: All human being have a right to their own bodies and deserving of respect no matter what their sex lives are. You are helping spread the idea that society itself dictates what a persons sexuality should be.
oddchild1
@Brian: Like all conservatives you have never actually learned anything from the actual academic literature and research into the subjects you are talking about. You are spouting platitudes and superstitions as fact.
Brian
@oddchild1: You come across as someone who has known only the gay rights movement, which itself is a surrender to feminism.
You need to look at “male homosexual desire”. It is vastly different to “gay”. Male homosexual desire has been around since time began, gay is an invented model.
You cannot form cogent arguments if you think in terms of “gay” because you will keep falling for the traps inherent within the invented model. That’s what models are designed to do – to get you to be faithful to the model at the expense of everything else.
oddchild1
@Brian: You know nothing of human sexuality; human sexuality exists in a spectrum. Sexual identity is also important for a healthy psyche. Your internalized homophobia is a result of the patriarchy. In your head gay is bad and women are to blame; because homophobia and misogyny stem from the same poisonous tree that was planted by our sexist patriarchal society and culture.
onenoneblonde
Not surprised all the gays in here are dragging the wife’s reaction. I bet if this was a gay couple with the guy keeping his attraction to women a secret from his partner until the truth comes out at a dinner party, you guys would have a VERY different view on this.
Her ignorant archaic views on bisexuality aside, I can understand her feelings of betrayal. How do you date someone long enough to marry and have kids with them, yet choose to conceal such a core aspect of your identity from them the whole time you’re with them? A relationship is no relationship without trust and honesty. This guy kept a huge secret from his wife and made her find out about it in the most humiliating way. Everyone in their social circle already knew except her. I would not trust this man to not have other skeletons in the closet. Hell, I wouldn’t even believe his claims that he never cheated. Not because he’s bi, but because he LIED. This is a major f—k up on his behalf. And don’t give me that “well based on her reaction, you can’t blame him for not being forthcoming”. No, there is absolutely NO excuse for keeping a secret like that from your partner. If he feared that she wouldn’t be accepting, then maybe his dumbass shouldn’t have settled for marrying a potentially biphobic woman. It’s 2016, finding a woman who doesn’t mind that you’re bi isn’t impossible.
I would have absolutely no issue pursuing a serious relationship with a bisexual man if he lets me know at the beginning. But only letting me find out after marriage and kids? Automatic grounds for divorce. Sorry. It’s wrong to rob someone of the choice to make an informed decision about their relationship. Trust is not something easily given and very easily broken and I think too many people fail to realize this.
Brian
@oddchild1: I’m simply saying that “gay” is an invented model designed to accommodate the fears that women have in regards to male homosexual desire. The article which Queerty has published confirms that women have a fear of male homosexual desire even if the husband has no intention on acting upon this desire.
Male homosexual desire is a threat to a woman’s ability to control men, period. Men who can swing both ways reduce a woman’s ability to use her own sexuality to control a whole spectrum of male behavior, including putting out the garbage and taking the dog for a walk.
By the way, homophobia and misogyny are not derived from the same tree. There are separate trees which occasionally share the same canopy but they are two different things.
Bauhaus
@Brian:
Whatever you say, Miss Lizzie Borden.
It’s not about the husband messing around (experimenting) with a guy(s) in college. He’s bisexual (orientation). He didn’t divulge that tidbit *before* marrying and having children with his wife. Not cool.
Some women are not okay partnering with a bi-man, and some women don’t care, believe me. Marry a woman who’s down with bisexuality, but don’t spring it on her (expecting a positive outcome) after marriage and kids.
I find it hard to believe this is the first conversation they’ve ever had on the subject. We all know where our partners stand on LGBT issues… In other words, had he been honest with his wife about his own sexual orientation (not his sexual history) *before* they married, I highly doubt they would have gotten married to begin with.
Gartholomew Nichols
If I can play devil’s advocate here.. I completely understand the loss of trust if he failed to mention his sexuality to the woman he married. Fair enough he shouldn’t be made to feel like he should but c’mon.. when your in a committed relationship you should be able to discuss these things.
oddchild1
@Brian: @Brian: Your misogyny does nothing but help also perpetuate homophobia; yes they both stem from the patriarchy; where you got this fanciful and bullshit woman conspiracy theory where they all got together and said “Let’s make up gay people to oppress men” is beyond me; it flies in the face of all reality.
Musk
The guy fucked around in his college years before he met his wife. Why is this a story? Because he’s bi? I guess women don’t fuck around before they’re married? What am I missing here?
Luke Taylor
It’s the not knowing that drive her crazy the intermet details that he might not have disclosured to her
dm10003
Oh dear, a wife that clings to naivete, trusts her sister’s ignorance over her husbands honesty, and then punishes his honesty.
Perhaps the husband should have sniffed out her bi-blindness sooner, but maybe that’s not fair to say.
And couples therapy will encourage him to leave her?
There’s absolutely no logic to anything there. I assume it’s not a made up letter.
Hudson Barbosa
Not nice,, dude!!!!
Josh_
@Brian: I really like your point of view. Do you have any suggestions for reading material regarding some of the things you are mentioning? I googled, “male homosexual desire” and couldn’t really find much on the topic.
Kevin Wotipka
Seems like the only one making it bad is her.
Me2
@onenoneblonde: EXACTLY!!! You actually get it!! She has every right to be upset. His delayed “honesty” was the unintended consequence of a trip down memory lane and not some loving act of disclosure. I’d be upset too.
David Myers
@Brian: Careful Brian . . . your misogyny and right wing fundyism is starting to show!
David Myers
@Brian: You’re analysis is deeply flawed and female hating. It is also self-serving. So whom are you serving while you serve yourself – self-hating homosexuals, bi-sexuals, or women-hating heterosexuals? Not that it really matters . . . hate is hate and always rests on a bed of resentment, bigotry and selfishness. Looks like your bed is full enough already. Try learning something new instead of pretending to be a know it all when you are actually a know nothing!
Maciek Stachlewski
Sorry, but i disagree. Did you see bisexual who is in relationship with a man and need a sex with woman? NO!!! And bisexual who is with woman and need sex with a man? YES!!! Why? Bisexuality is only cover to hide homosexuality. That’s the truth.
Brian
@David Myers: I’m the one who is posting something new, not you. You see, I haven’t been politically corrected by the gay rights movement or feminism. I can see things as they are, and not as you want them to be.
I make no apologies for criticizing women and feminism in particular. The credibility of feminism peaked with the suffragettes. Ever since, it’s been about obtaining privileges for women at the expense of men, including male sexuality.
darkanser
Regarding those people who believe that no one can actually be bisexual — that they’re “confused” or simply not accepting that they’re gay — they strike me little different than those people who think there’s no possibility that people can be born gay. I once had a civil conversation with someone on Youtube who believed that by virtue of our different anatomies — women are more inclined to be bisexual than men. I didn’t agree with all his logic but his ideas were interesting. As for people like this wife, I mean I don’t know what their problem is. Do they think too that people who are born with male bodies but decide to surgically alter their genitalia to look more like women — or vice versa– are just kidding? I’ll concede I knew someone who fathered 3 children with 3 women — while also consorting with men– and used to tell me he was “confused”. Now he tells me he’s gay, so go figure.
darkanser
@John Malin: From the account, I almost have the impression that the dinner guest couple knew about her husband’s bisexuality when the wife did not. Or maybe bisexuality is a feature in the dinner guests’ marriage. Hmmm…..
Christan22
Just laughing at how pathetic some of the comments are. First of, guys can be genuinely bisexual, secondly if you have a relationship with each other you have no reasons to be worried if he’s into you and loves you other people are irrelevant. And if something he did years ago is that significant maybe the relationship isn’t as solid as you make out.
SashaVonAndris
Whenever a girl says she’s bisexual, I laugh, because deep down inside, dick is really good!!! And she knows it enough not to identify herself as hating it!!!
But if a girl can be genuinely lesbian, and a guy can be genuinely gay, then there can exist bisexual beings as well. All through out high school I was a Kinsey 5, intelligent girls were a turn on for me. Then all of a sudden, I was a Kinsey 10, after riding my first dick. I appreciate female beauty and intelligence, but I’m secure in who I am, enough not to question someone else about their sexuality.
Stefano
It is funny How people on queerty are judgmental ! Where are your Christians values !? Loll
breckroy
@Maciek Stachlewski: You have no idea what you are talking about. I am bisexual and in a long term relationship with another bisexual male. We are a pretty boring couple, now, but our first few years were marred by his inability to manage and accept the idea that being with me meant he couldn’t have sex with women. We tried a lot of things, but they were weird for me as I may be bi, but only ever want the person I am in love with, but he missed specific things about being with a woman. Finally, he decided losing me was worse than losing access to lady parts and we have been happy for a decade, but truth be told, I often think that the only thing that could rock our longterm happiness would be the appearance of the “right” woman. But I also know that is not evidence based and is in my head, based on my insecurity (I still get attracted to women and occasionally fantasize, but the only person i actually want in my life and bed is him) so while I get the wife’s insecurity, she has to decide whether an imagined potential outcome is worth giving up the real life happiness she has right now. IMO, it’s not.
Bauhaus
@breckroy:
Bi guy here, in LTR (now married) with a gay man. I scratch the lady itch with porn. Husband encourages it. Works for us.
Hu7w
In my view, she has nothing to fear because, virtually, all bisexual men prefer heterosexual relationships (even though he can be a 6 on the Kinsey scale).
And frequently, they say that they prefer heterosexual sex and they identify totally with the heteronormative culture.
Even, they generally prefer to identify themselves as heterosexual.
In fact, for this reason I prefer a gay man as partner.
Hu7w
@Hu7w: I meant: even though he can be almost a 6 on the Kinsey scale.
Brian
“Bisexual” is such an awful word because it suggests that your erotic attractions are equally divided. In most case, they aren’t.
It’s also awful when people identify as a sexual activity of sexual feeling. If that’s all there is to you, you must be an awfully boring person.
MMDD
Sorry. The wife may be overreacting somewhat and certainly has an inaccurate view of bisexuality; however, this is something he should have told her beforehand. I mean, you talk about your past relationships with your spouse before you get married. Also, it’s apparent the people at the dinner table knew, but the wife was kept in the dark till now? Not cool. If they value their marriage, I think they both should get into counseling ASAP.
MMDD
@UUMjeff: Wait…you’re “an ‘out’ gay man in a 35+ year committed relationship,” yet in reality you’re bisexual? Isn’t that being dishonest: self-identifying to people as one thing but in reality being something else? And doesn’t it also perpetuate the stereotype that bi men are really just gay?
vonric
am bisexual here, married for 30 years to a woman who was, at the very least, “bi-curious” at some stages of her life. The candor about that was a fundamental aspect of personal trust as we shifted from a professional relationship to friendship to romantic interest.
Have no doubt that the husband cited in this article is either “bi-experimental” or lives somewhere along the Kinsey scale.. what is interesting is that he either maintained that aspect of his persona quite private or they had a marital relationship that avoided deep personal discussions about sexuality (the latter is a real potential, many couples don’t talk about sex, sexual interests, drivers, etc… and with that, not talking about sexual history becomes normal….)
frankly, I wonder if her fear and anger are in part, driven by some level of homophobia and with that, I wonder if some of that homophobia is driven by a profoundly repressed homoerotica….. that somewhere, she is angry, not that he has “experimented”, but rather, that she missed the opportunity in her life when it was there for the having, free of the complexities of monogamy.
MMDD
@onenoneblonde: Exactly. Very well said!
1EqualityUSA
Lie of omission. She made her decision to marry based on false pretenses. He’s bringing it up now? What’s the motive?
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Sluggo2007
The marriage is doomed. He will suck dick again and she will always doubt his faithfulness.
Hussain-TheCanadian
@Brian: Bisexuality does not connotate “Equal attraction” Brain, it simple implies POSSIBLE attraction to both genders.
To say ALL Men harbor homosexual attraction must lead to the logical conclusion that all men also MUST have heterosexual attractions as well.
Is this what you are suggesting?
surreal33
If I had $5.00, for every straight/married/I have girlfriend/I am engaged to woman man I sucked off I would be able to retire by now!!!!!! Simply put most women (not all) don’t like to SUCK DICK and NEWSFLASH men want their dicks sucked frequently. Therefore, what is a man to do? Easy take advantage of the scores of men who will happily drop-to-their knees and suck dick as if the fate of the world depended on the orgasm. After the receiver of the oral service cums get off their knees look the man in eyes you just blown say thank you and walk away with NO STRINGS or expectations. Women have too many needs and rules whereas, men understand the man you just sucked off only needs you to get off once that is accomplished all parties involved are satisfied.
Stached1
There’s a lot of biphobia in some of these comments, and then you have fools who actually believe or want to believe that the men who they’re having sex with are really hetero/straight.
spemat
I am bi and a gold star bi and bisexuals who fuck outside their circle get this 9/10…
all of these bi people crying biphobia refuse to date other bisexuals.