Famed humorist and writer David Sedaris really doesn’t like the term “queer”. Or at least, he has no desire to apply it to himself.
On a segment for CBS Sunday Morning yesterday, he set out his reasons, explaining why he doesn’t feel the need to rebrand himself yet again and questioning some of the people adopting the term “queer” for themselves.
You can watch below.
“I never liked the term ‘coming out.’ Still, I did it. This was back in the 1970s. Now I’m having to do it all over again,” he began. “I’m 65 years old. I’ve been with the same guy for 31 years, and on this day I am announcing to the world that I am straight.”
“I haven’t met anyone else, haven’t fallen in love with a woman. I’ve simply done fighting the term ‘queer.’ What bothers me is not that it used to be a slur. I just don’t see why I have to be rebranded for the fourth time in my life.”
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He continued, “I started as a homosexual, became gay, then LGBT, and now queer. And for what? Why the makeovers? And what will it be next?”
“I read an interview with a woman who identifies as queer because she’s tall. That’s it — she’s never had a relationship with another woman, doesn’t care to for all I know. So, what does it mean that we’re both suddenly queer? I’m not tall. Just the opposite. There are parking meters that stand higher than I do.”
Sedaris concluded, “It no longer matters what you are in practice, just how you identify. I’m going with heterosexual because, like the words Jewish or female, it rarely if ever changes. I need a resting place, and this is as a good a one as any.”
Related: What does the word “queer” mean to you? The Internet sounds off…
Sedaris published his first collection of essays and short stories, Barrel Fever, in 1994. His next book, Naked, in 1997, was the first of several New York Times bestsellers. Much of his work is autobiographical. He was born in New York but since 2019 has lived in England with his partner: set designer and painter Hugh Hamrick.
Sedaris’ comments prompted a divided reaction online, from some claiming he knew nothing about the meaning of “queer” to those who welcomed his stance.
@DavidSedaris knows next to nothing about “queer” https://t.co/fpbuBgf39e
— Queer Doctor 🏳️🌈 (@InclusiveLucie) October 16, 2022
“Queer” has a very specific meaning. It stands in opposition to material reality and in favour of performative struggle. That’s why straights are now identifying their way in–“I have fluorescent hair, I am queering the binary of blonde and brunette!!”
— truisms are true (@TruismsT) October 16, 2022
Amen! The irony in all of this is that it’s supposed to be a rejection of “binary” — yet each label, in itself, is actually binary: you’re gay or not gay, you’re gender-fluid or not, etc. Any label is just putting someone into a box they will never completely fit in.
— Catherine Gulsvig Wood (@crgulsvigwood) October 16, 2022
I understand his concept, not his outcome.
Words matter. Labels too. Sure they evolve and change. I think that’s the very basis of growth too. This however to me is a disservice to all who struggle with correct terms and identity.— Louie Schutz (@unklelouie1) October 16, 2022
LumpyPillows
Queer is meaningless word. It tells you absolutely nothing about a person. It can mean anything and ends up meaning nothing. All of this is part of the plan to make LGBT people irrelevant in their own movement. It goes hand in hand with the “gender is made up” nonsense. I’d say the woke-left has outsmarted itself, but I’m not sure they really are smart at all. Too many sociology classes at Brown and Vassar taught by professors who really haven’t a clue, for sure, but it has nothing to do with reality, and it certainly ends up being divisive to the LGBT cause. It all begins to feel like an old Saturday Night Live skit with Pat, except we are the punch line.
You’re figuring yourself out. Being confused, repressed or in denial is not a gender or a sexuality.
Eternal.Cowboy
Where you always a professional whiner or is this something you took up later in life?
abfab
Lumpy usually comes across with convoluted, pretzel logic.
LumpyPillows
Two quality comments. Yawn. You guys are just lazy.
abfab
Lumpy. If you read David Sedaris, which I can safely assume you do not, you would know about his ironic style and you’d be able to put some of this into context. He’s a humorist. Read a book,
LumpyPillows
Abfab, I realize you think it is some kind of badge of honor to always attack whatever I say. I have my fan club of 5 or 6 of you, that always make personal attacks. Sad, really. Not for me, I don’t care what you think because you have never given me a reason to care what you think. I do, however, get worried about you when you don’t come for me with your pithy one sentence nasties, fearing you fell down an elevator shaft or ate bad sushi. While I don not like you, I do not hate you.
Clearly, Sedaris is making fun by declaring he is straight. I did catch that. But, if you really know David, you know he also uses his humor to skewer nonsense. Queer is nonsense. He is a humorist. He is a hoot. You really are just mean and could lighten up a bit, maybe listen to move of his shows.
abfab
You could not make it more obvious to any of us that you actually do care, Lumpy. Are you done yet? And if anyone is queer, it’s you.
dbmcvey
Queer has been fairly commonly used for at least 30 years now. It also seems to have been taken on by a lot of young LGBT people. You don’t have to use it but fighting against it is like railing at the tide coming in.
inbama
@dbmcvey
Sorry, if you’re upset that self-respecting gay men reserve the right to reject your nonsense labels.
e
Eternal.Cowboy
It’s virtually impossible to provide a quality comment to what you said as you don’t really have a point that you are making. Your comment is a Trump style airing of various perceived grievances, bigotry, talking in circles and disjointed thoughts crammed together in a single paragraph.
Seriously…. you start at queer being meaningless but also meaning anything. From there you jump into a conspiracy against LGBT people. Take a detour though denying tans people exist despite saying they were under attack in the proceeding sentence. You stop to sprinkle in some right wing talking points including catch phrases, attacks on academia and media. It’s a tortured mess that goes nowhere.
Ronbo
Please take this demeaning word personally and apply it to yourself. If someone said “Oh look at the queers over there,” – and pointed to you – few individuals would be happy and take pride or think it was a good thing. Substitute any demeaning word for blacks, jews, asians, women etc….
The less we in society use demeaning and derogatory words, the better. To normalize hateful words throughout society is NOT the answer – it’s a temporary shield that invites more abuse, anger and use. If FOX news used the word, people would become infuriated. We shoud not spread division and name-calling – even if it makes us feel better temporarily.
LumpyPillows
Nice try Cowboy, but a fail again. You don’t understand how a word can mean many things but nothing specific? You tell me what queer means when I say Pat is queer. What does that tell you about Pat? I await your nonsense answer.
Do some of my opinions reflect some from right wing people? Yes, yes they do. Why? Because in that instant they are right. Are their intentions to be destructive? Probably. Are mine? No. They are meant to pull us back from fallacies. That does not make me a Trump supported, right wing or a republican. You don’t understand that either. I mean, you really just don’t want to try to understand what I am saying and you are the one spinning in logical circles.
I said nothing denying trans people exist. You are making stuff up in your head. Why? I have never denied trans people exist or do not deserve respect. Never have, never will. You want me to be your boogey man. I’ll play that role, if it makes you happy, but you really should think about what you are doing here and if you are actually changing anyone’s mind.
Diplomat
Eternal cowboy,
You nailed it. My sentiments exactly. Talk about word salad.
Creamsicle
Queer is kind of nice in a professi9nal setting BECAUSE it’s non-specific. You don’t owe your coworkers insight into your sexual and dating history. It can be great for setting your own terms for coming out in different environments.
I disagree with Sedaris, but as an older gay man who’s been in the public eye and whose entire career is based on language and how communication often affects personal behavior, I can see why Sedaris may be personally sour on the term queer as an umbrella term that is now being adopted, or co-opted by the mainstream.
I’m certain that we’ll get some nuance from him if he decides to speak and write about this topic further. I’m sure it will be very amusing as well.
Donston
This obsession a lot of people over 40 have with hating on “queer” is tired. No, you don’t have to “rebrand”. There are still tons and tons of “gay-presenting” people. And there are tons of people who embrace both a “gay” and “queer” identity. Nobody is forcing you into anything. At the end of the day, “labels” will never be perfect. How words are used is always evolving. How people express themselves is constantly evolving. While sociology, politics, ego, sexual journeys, psychology, preferences, the gender, sexual, affection, romantic, emotion, commitment spectrum will always lead to a lot of variance, complications, contradictions when it comes to identities. There are definitely nuanced conversations to be had about all of this. And I have my own issues with identity politics and how they’re frequently used. But don’t come off like an old, bitter person resentful of any change. Learn how to get your perspective across without doing that, because once you fall into that “bitter old head” trap your opinions immediately get ignored by everyone who isn’t in that same “bitter, old” demo.
LumpyPillows
Or perhaps the older people actually have some wisdom that this new batch of self-important whiners should listen too. Bitter? Oddly, it is the younger people who are bitter about everything.
Ageism is apparently still ok as it is the only thing they can’t be. Yet.
Eternal.Cowboy
@Lump
A lot of older folks have wisdom worth sharing … you are just aren’t one of them. You have the same tired complaints about young people that every generation before you has had. Weirdly you want to blame your irrelevance on everyone but the person most responsible for it.
LumpyPillows
Poor cowboy…always attacking people…never adding to the discussion.
Donston
Every time I come to this site there’s always clearly older people doing nothing but shaming younger people (aka actual ageism), being dismissive, being
bitchy and being condescending. Age doesn’t give automatic wisdom, doesn’t mean you’re right about everything and doesn’t give someone the right to be an out and out a-hole. There are interesting and needed conversations to have as far as the evolution of identities, use of language, sociology, gender/sexual politics, and the understanding of sexuality or the gender, sexual, emotion, romantic, commitment spectrum. Being instantly pissy, bitchy and dismissive doesn’t allow for that conversation to happen. Of course, many people aren’t interested in any real conversation. They just want to rant and/or throw shade.
LumpyPillows
Well, I will say, Donston, old boy, you always put forward a thoughtful post, unlike so many. I usually agree with you, but not always. You did miss the nuance Sedaris was bringing to the discussion, and then went at him for his age. You normally shoot higher and with better aim. Or I misunderstood your comment.
“There are definitely nuanced conversations to be had about all of this. And I have my own issues with identity politics and how they’re frequently used. ” I could not agree more.
You still don’t get the SNL Pat joke, which I find odd because you usually do get the full nuance more accurately.
DarkZephyr
I don’t understand why you felt the need to attack his age, Donston.
inbama
@DarkZephyr
Donston’s attacking Sedaris’s age so he can be perceived as young.
it’s about as reliable as the woman identifying as “queer” because she’s tall.
Donston
Inbama, you constantly use hateful, dismissive, no nuance language on this site. Please stop acting super PC and sensitive because age is brought up. Name-calling and bitchy attitudes are abundant here. But the line is crossed when age is brought into the equation? Stop with the phony BS.
While no one’s age was attacked. And I rarely even deal with people around my age or younger. However, the whole obsession with hating on “queer” is indeed more of a thing for the 40+ year old demo. That’s just a reality. While if someone is acting like a bitter, dismissive geezer who automatically condemns everything from younger people and are constantly talking down people then don’t get mad when age is brought into the equation. Y’all rarely give a shit about other people’s feelings. So, stop with the “you’re being ageist” crying.
JAW
I do not give a crap if you or anyone sees himself as queer. You walk around any non gayborhood and ask people to define the word queer they’re going to tell you it’s something like odd or strange.
There is nothing odd about me. I am what I am.
What really upsets me is not the fact that you see yourself as a queer but now everyone has got to be clear. We talk about queer history, queer studies, queer this and queer that.
We also instead of talking about trans people being queers we identified them differently.
When the movement started it was all about hate and oppression of gay and lesbians and then bisexuals and then trans people came under the umbrella. Now we got a whole bunch of people who no one knows what they are because they may be dating a person of the opposite sex and no one cares.
Not all of us are queers and it’s time you folks are understand that. Don’t wipe away LGBT homosexuality and other histories and tell us we were all queer.
DarkZephyr
Mmmhmmm.
Yeah, I still don’t think there was any reason to attack his age.
“This kind of sh***y attitude is only attributed to people who are 40+, the geezers!”
In the video, he didn’t once talk about the “younger generation”. He mentioned his own age to illustrate all of the various terminology he’s gone through over the years.
What I find kind of ironic is that one day you’re scoffing at “identity politics” and today you’re going off about a guy who seems to share the same frustrations you do, and so he makes a *joke* (he’s a humorist) about identifying as straight and you had to go straight to the whole “40+” thing.
You weren’t attacking his age, eh? Well you most certainly weren’t celebrating it either.
I have never enjoyed the term “queer” and maybe it IS because I am 40+ and have lived through a pretty violent period in American history where I was physically assaulted multiple times, quite literally almost killed multiple times (when I was just a f**king kid, no less) while that word (as well as the “F” word and others) was being hurled at me, on two occasions by huge groups of homophobic people. For me, it came to be synonymous with my blood being splashed on the f*cking ground or floor or bruises all over my body. For me it was always a hideous and unpleasant sounding/looking word that reminded me of violence.
I guess because I am a 45 year old “geezer” my feelings about the word and my experiences are meaningless and dismissable to someone like yourself. If I DO speak about it, then I am the one being dismissive, right? I am attacking the youth of the generations that have followed me, even if I don’t mention their youth at all (given the fact that I don’t think age is a real factor in this). I must have nothing but disdain for younger people if I have distaste for the word “queer”.
At any rate, I am slowly choosing to embrace a term that I have always detested. I prefer saying “LGBTQ” with the “Q” representing “queer” as a kind of compromise, where I can acknowledge it without having to form it on my lips. I don’t think I have said the term out loud myself in many years.
But, it IS the term of the times, for now. So…what are you gonna do? It is what it is. But I can’t help but feel sympathetic to those who don’t really like the word much. Its not just 40+ people either, Donston. I have had conversations with several LGBTQ folks in their 20s to 30s who don’t like it either. Not one single bit. Its not an age thing, not a “geezer” thing and its not a “youth” thing.
P.S. Stay off my lawn! *Shaking fist at cloud*
Charlie in Charge
It still so rt of works when talking about a group but on the individual level “Queer” has definitely lost its sense of cohesiveness. If anyone can apply it to mean whatever they want then it tells us nothing.
I think it’ s a right of passage to be told by the next generation that the labels you use for yourself are incorrect and you are harming the movement by using them.
MrGoldman
TOTALLY agree with David Sedaris!!!!
abfab
If you’re cool and hip and sophisticated and worldly and someone tells you they’re Queer, or you tell them you’re Queer, there is usually an understanding. If you lack the above virtues, that’s your problem.
You guys sound like you just fell off the turnip truck.
Eternal.Cowboy
No need to insult turnips;.
LumpyPillows
There is usually an understanding? How about just tell them you are gay and not have to have an understanding or misunderstanding? Oh, I see, because you are shallow and think it makes you seem cool, hip, sophisticated or worldly. It doesn’t. It makes me think you are a straight person trying to not be boring.
abfab
Oh Lumpy, you are so far off-base.
abfab
Lumpy, I’m not talking about me. I’m talking about the people I’ve met over the years, and even yesterday, that tell me they are Queer. If the dialogue deepens, more information comes along. I’m just not that demanding and I’m certainly not interested in trying to convince anyone how to be.
I tell people I’m Gay. I’ve been happy saying that all of my life.
LumpyPillows
Just curious, ab, when they said they were queer, where did that lead? They then had to explain what they meant, right? Which is my entire point.
I don’t really care if someone tells me they are queer, but in my head I am rolling my eyes at the pretension. I know you will disagree because I said it, but there it is.
LeBlevsez
Lumpy –
If I may:
I understand the topic here is identity, but how many such declarations do we encounter in our daily lives? There’s a lot in these stormy seas of social media, but very little in day-to-day life. At least in my experience. I’ve had a couple of these conversations with family members, and a vague, distant memory of one such conversation with friends. There were no raised hackles, no clouds of dander. But I’m old (ahem….*early* old).
I personally identify as Queer. Depending on my audience, I’m perfectly comfortable using the word ‘gay’. I feel no need to pontificate when using the word ‘queer’. The only time I was questioned about the word ‘queer’ was regarding whether the word is considered offensive. My response to my straight sister was “You probably shouldn’t use it.” I’d forgotten about her gay neighbors and queer friends and co-workers, with whom she may have already had this conversation.
Now, the pontification….
My preference for ‘Queer’ goes back to the early ’80s.
First was a New Years Eve at a club with a mostly Black clientele. Men, Women, and Trans. It made me aware how the clubs I frequented were almost exclusively white men (and Cis, though we didn’t have that word at the time). Show bars were more mixed, but still somewhat segregated within.
Then the AIDS crisis exploded, revealing the racism and sexism in our white male ranks. While African-Americans and Lesbians were doing their share of the heavy lifts (probably more than their fair share per capita), there were attempts within some organizations to keep the leadership male, white and cis.
As a result of this new (to me) knowledge I decided that it was necessary to try and be more inclusive. I found ‘queer’ to be more inclusive than the then new acronym GLB.
Whew!
Still want to roll your eyes?
Ronbo
“…there were attempts within some organizations to keep the leadership male, white and cis.” That someone might suggest it, doesn’t mean THAT was reality. I’m not sure that you remember actual history, seems you remember what didn’t happen more than what did. Is Dan Choi in your memories.
I remember the silly groupthink at Human Rights Campaign, when they came out against using the courts to fight DADT and DOMA under Joe Solmonese. His objective was to bring in corporate cash and grow the organization – not establishing our Human Rights. They actually opposed the ways that we defeated both grossly corrupt and harmful policies.
LumpyPillows
LeB, queer makes sense when used with a group. I understand where you are coming from and am supportive of your well explained thoughts. I do still, however, roll my eyes when someone tells me they are queer and their pronouns are chez and choo. Sorry, I just don’t get it. It seems so pretentious, like an old school label queen telling me about their Versace shirt and Prada shoes. I don’t hate them, but I wonder why they think this is something to share. That’s just me. Take it or leave it.
BrownFriedRice
It’s one thing to be a gay man who doesn’t use the word ‘queer’, but why call yourself straight instead? So Stupid lol
LumpyPillows
Joke sweety. It was a joke.
Ronbo
I call myself ronbo – even though it’s Ronald on paper. Labels are just that labels. A can of peas labeled green beans is still just a can of peas.
We need to take that thought to politics…. Are politicians who labels themselves “Democrat” – but pushed, passed and signed both DADT and DOMA the same Democrat as you? Is the person who repeatedly votes with Republicans and votes for Republican policies, a Democrat? Rembmbetr the “Democrat” who campaigned over 20 years saying “Marriage will ALWAYS be between one man and one woman”?
Don’t believe the label, It’s the person and their actions that is real.
Labels (identity politics) are often used for deception.
Mr. Stadnick
You don’t understand nuance do you.
Creamsicle
It’s a rhetorical attempt to highlight how the term queer has no meaning if it can be used by anyone who feels even slightly aberrant, like a tall woman.
To an extent he is correct. There are fat activists who are currently trying to co-opt the term queer in an attempt to copy the rapid success of gay acceptance over the past decade. They claim that their weight is just as inherent and immutable as sexual orientation, just because they’re the first generation to have been obese since childhood and never known healthy weight.
There are even some fat activists who claim that there is a campaign of deliberate historical erasure of fat people, rather than the much more provable reality that our consumerist culture and food system has created epidemic levels of obesity that only began in the late 1980s and officially declared epidemic by 1999.
abfab
“It’s disgusting how people kiss in France. It turns my stomach. It’s everywhere you go, and it’s not just teenagers. You go to the movies and even ticket lines for movies and there are people making out. They’re sucking each others’ tongues and drooling on each other’s chins. Anything you’ve done once, you can forgive. But I never made out with anyone in public. Part of that’s being gay, so that allows me to enjoy being self-righteous.”
-David Sedaris
Ronbo
The quote is how most of us live our lives. If you need to have sexual relations in public, you might not be socialized. I’ve had to spray water on my dog to stop it; don’t make me bring the hose over to you abfab. You seem like you might have been some experience here.
bachy
Yet more Labelmania.
Let’s get out there, be ourselves and have some fun, people.
Those that can, do. Those that can’t, label.
dbmcvey
David Sedaris is a satirist, and it doesn’t always work.
abfab
That’s where the sophistication part comes in! The Flintstones might be more suitable for this particular audience here today.
bachy
Sedaris’ coy, insipid humor never did it for me.
Creamsicle
Satire doesn’t summarize well, and we live in a world where everything is constantly being recapped and stripped of context and performance.
Sedaris will catch hate because his bit was summarized badly for a gossip blog.
Diplomat
There are lots of ppl across the age range that hate being identified with the word queer. And straight world will always use it as a pejorative. It’s one sow’s ear that will never turn into a silk purse no matter how much lipstick the below 1 percent apply. Just fact.
bachy
The problem with queer parallels problems with the “n-word.” Gay people may use queer as the reclamation of a negative in the same manner that POC use the “n-word.” But both terms have limited suitability beyond insider circles.
Diplomat
Hey Bachy,
The words queer and nig* ger are both hate speech. The difference between gays and blacks is that in 1990 a 4 man group called Queer Nation announced that gays were now going to be called queer. Not to be inclusive, but to own the word and take off the stigma. No vote no notice no discussion w a nation of gays. No care for others thoughts and feelings. Just boom. There it was. A yoke on the shoulders of gays noone needs or wants. Just one of many PR mistakes the LGB world has made, and there are many.
Blacks didn’t do that with the word nig* ger. Or did a tiny group of blacks announce to the world to please call them nig* gers from now on and I missed it? There’s nothing parallel from what I can see. Please correct me if I’m wrong.
bachy
Diplo: Some POC are comfortable addressing each other using the “n-word”, and some gays are comfortable addressing each other using the word “queer.” You are correct WRT what is a significant difference between the two terms – no POC wish to hear whites use the “n-word”! Whereas “queer” is being promoted as a general use descriptor.
My point is that where they are similar is that both are an effort to reclaim a negative term.
Ronbo
Derogatory words are strong tools. The less we need to use them, the better. Our use of the word takes away some of the sting; but, it also gives permission to others. Such double-edged words for women, blacks, gays, hispanics, jews, etc… shoud never be used lightly.
Watch Below Deck where the girls are calling the Bosum a “Bitch” AFTER he asked them to stop. That is bullying using a derogatory name – it’s wrong. On a previous episode a white person rapped a song that used the n-word and all hell broke loose. A song! Derogatory words shoud not be used – permission to one is permission to all.
Diplomat
Bachy,
Just curious: where do you get the idea that POC are actively trying to sanitize the horrid unredeemable word ngr, like gay people are trying to sanitize the unredeemable word queer? And what does WRT stand for?
bachy
The term is used a lot in rap music, films and standup featuring POC, and in casual conversation between POC. Are there any black commenters who could explain this for me??
WRT means “with regard to.”
barryaksarben
but it has worked to educate alot of straight people. I have not heard the word queer thrown at anyone in the last decade and when young in the 89s heard it alot so as I said it is being very effective too call ourselves queers, non binary and ALL THE other words that have evolved form taking back some words and making them our version of the n word, I now here people ask “ARE YOU GAY” much more than are you a queer.all you trolls here as Kathy Griffin so elequently said”suck it” and start right here with my dick
sfhairy
Preach David, Preach!
abfab
LOL
Fahd
David Sedaris on CBS Sunday Morning (A great show for the 80+ population) – food for thought while one eats lox and bagels. I’m sure many people empathize with his disinterest in keeping up.
Den
Keeping up with whom?
When any suburban high school boy who dyes their hair pink and paints their nails but would never kiss another boy or suck a dick calls themselves queer; or when a completely heterosexual “demisexual” (which used to be called “waiting until we know each other better”) calls themselves queer, then queer has no use as a label for a group still in need of equitable legal, economic and societal regard.
And when homophpobes/anti-trans folks feel they have license to use the word to express their animus, it does not serve us, nor does it blunt their hatred. And what is with the dogwhistle of “eating their bagels and lox”?
GayEGO
I never liked the name Queer, gay seems to be fine as it is a happy name. After all, we are part of normal civilization and Marriage Equality is still the law of the land! I was with my husband 57 years and we were married 15 years until he passed away at the age of 88. Hopefully we will continue to move forward, not backward.
Creamsicle
How do you reconcile your dislike of the term queer while following a gossip blog named Queerty?
barryaksarben
Another trick to spotting the fake gay trolls here is when they use one screen name to suck the dick of one of their other screen names. dead giveaway. Queer is also. used to describe dishonest people so obsessed with gays that they lie and then come here while they masterbate. you are queer your here get used to it
basils_Herald
Sedaris makes a point albeit a metapoint: LGBTQ+ folks challenge the Society to question what it means to be a sexual being who lives in a complex culture. While we needn’t rebrand every decade, we are a population that is ever arriving and evolving. What happened to standing on the side of love for love’s sake? That’s a big part of what Queer means – loving someone no matter what their body looks like. We have a litany of issues that grossly impact our rights: SCOTUS, youth homelessness and care for the elderqueers. We need successful gay authors to elevate those causes and not go into a PR tailspin à la JK Rowling.
FreddieW
“elderqueers”? Oh, God — it is going to suck being an old gay man and listening to that kind of nonsense.
I suddenly see Harry Hay dancing naked.
barryaksarben
yes, thank you for a gay point of view while these fake gay trolls jsut throw so much bs around
dbmcvey
“Queer” has been embraced by younger people. No one is forcing you to use it but railing against it will just make people roll their eyes at you.
In the end, it really doesn’t matter. People used “gay” as an insult when I was growing up. You can’t control what other people do.
Charlie in Charge
“No one is forcing you to use it but we will judge you if you don’t.”
Florida Brad
I am a 63 Year Old GAY Man. I LOATHE the word ” Queer “. This was a hateful term shouted out to us growing up in the 1970’s. It is HATE speech. Our generation (who did so much for the younger, as always) will never like this. Hell, my 30 year old partner hates it !
BEARY FLINTSTONE
His preference……….Enough said!
barryaksarben
exactly. Im sure a few straight people dont indentify as breeders but that is their choice.
Neoprene
You go, David! My favorite humorist. He drew a cute little tree with colored markers in my copy of Calypso at a book signing a few years back. Why his book signings take forever. But I love that little tree pic.
Cam
Wow, a FOURTH screename from the right wing troll. This post must have really triggered you.
Ronbo
Cam turns out daily to be our local “troll” pushing lies, division and hate.
Cam, try helping instead of insulting and attacking. They could use another troll hunter at twitter. Don’t let the door hit you were the good lord split you.
barryaksarben
well that was helpful but hey im sure your little tree is adorable. his last book was nothing but a giant yell “GET OFF MY LAWN” towards anyone younger, some of us do it little more gracefully
inbama
I am so sick of these homophobic queers.
Sexual Orientation is a physical reality. Sexologists can measure blood flow to the penis and determine whether you’re attracted to males, females or both.
You can’t “identify” yourself out of it.
andrewl
I must confess I do not like the term queer and never apply it to myself as I am very happily gay. Queer to me infers being defective or somehow misshapen which I am not. As stated by others this is probably a generational thing as I am in my late fifties. As far as other people feel free to describe yourself what ever suits you I guess.
Jeremiah
Andrew, being of a similar age (58), I couldn’t agree with you more. I’ll always be respectful and will address anyone as they prefer, but I strongly dislike the idea of using it on myself.
Creamsicle
How does everyone who comes in to espouse their dislike of the term queer reconcile that with the fact that this gossip blog is literally called Queerty?
barryaksarben
His last book was shocking to me because it had zero laughs . It was the equivalent to the old man screaming about the kids on his yard. He just comp[lained and not even in a clever way. I gave up on him as way too many other white gay guys with money just get so damned can ky complaining about the younger gays instead of supporting them. YES we lost a lot giving them the freedom we did not have but we can not demand they do what we want as they have a different staring point then we had and I am anxious to see what they do and can’t demand they do what I say
Jack Meoff
The word queer being used by the gay community to describe themselves has been around since at least the 80’s so I don’t know why the author thinks LGBT predates it. I have been rejecting the term queer ever since I first came out in the 80s. I always thought it doesn’t describe my existence. I am not odd or unusual or strange. The word implies there is something wrong with you.
In more recent years it has been repurposed as an umbrella term to include all the new identities that keep popping up so the meaning has been diminished and watered down so much that now we have people from all walks of life applying it to themselves willy nilly as shown in the example used about the woman who is tall. It has become a joke and so on that basis, I reject it all over again.
I want to stand apart from the throng as a proud gay man and not be lumped in with the queer soup. Let’s keep it simple.
barryaksarben
that is the entire point, we should all be free to call ourselves exactly what we want to be called. I prefer gay man but I never give a thought to it when someone introduces themselves to me as queer or non-binary or any of the others. I will always support our younger people was they now have the torch and we cant decide where they take it and shouldn’t as times are constantly changing. IF we ever finally achieve complete equality I dont care what anyone calls themself it is a small matter and the homophobes are the ones making such a big deal over it in order TO DIVIDE US. it is painfully obvious . if the can make us look ridiculous to others the feel they have won a battle. and it is as silly as they are
bigrawtop
I love labels. They help us communicate. They aren’t perfect, but they help us identify others we are like. Queer is an umbrella label just like Latinx embraces many different groups coming from various origins with different dialects and cultures.
LumpyPillows
Oh, god, not Latinx. Latinos hate that. It’s made up nonsense some white liberal created without bothering to see if the target population needed his help. God. We’re doomed.
Joshooeerr
Sedaris is 100% right. “Queer” is offensive and, to use a trendy term, “triggering” to a lot of people. The fact that a lot of younger people dismiss objections to the term because they think it’s mostly older people who are offended is a) unquestionably ageist and b) somewhat hilariously in opposition to their supposedly painstaking efforts to be inclusive and sensitive. Ironically, “queer” has been (as Sedaris points out) so ludicrously expanded to include all kinds of difference that it’s actually become increasingly meaningless. So those who have attempted to promote the term have simultaneously exploded its power. Meanwhile, the whole LGBTQIA+ alphabet soup nonsense has become divisive, rather than inclusive. You could call it political correctness gone mad, but that only leads everyone to dismiss you as appallingly right-wing. The problem being that “political correctness gone mad” is exactly what it is.
FreddieW
I don’t like the term “queer” either. “Gay” is good. So is “homosexual”.
Bosch
Y’all complaining about the word “Queer” while visiting a site called “Queerty” daily.
I feel like we have more important things to fight about. No one is forcing anyone to identity as “queer”, so let’s not force other people to reject the word.
“Gay” was also once derogatory, and some numb-nuts are now suggesting that “honosexual” is derogatory.
The problem with this paradigm, is that once you make the word derogatory, you make the concept it represents derogatory. We do not want to perpetuate the idea that it is derogatory to be gay, or queer, or homosexual. Less gay slurs means less gay slurs for the homophobes.
RIGay
I identify as a gay male and have since July 4, 1989, the day I came out to myself. I am neither uptight nor have I lost my sense of humor over it. I was just so happy to feel a part of an ENTIRE community. Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual, Transgendered. I miss those days; we were all so happy together. So much laughter and solidarity. We supported each other. We marched. We fought. We voted. We cared about our entire community as AIDS ravaged on. As one. That seemed to all end the day after Gay Marriage became law and seemingly every fringe Queer decided they needed to tack on special recognition, or else.
And that is what I AM uptight about; all this compartmentalization today by forcing trendy (yes, trendy) labels on society, where if I get a label wrong, I must be cancelled for being anti-whateverthef*ck that label is.
Quite honestly, I do not feel welcome in today’s non-straight communities.
So to all the people offended by David Sedaris, I say, from the bottom of my heart, “F*ck You”.
LumpyPillows
It is the new self-centered identity society. They took the rainbow flag that represented us all and added colors to divide us into groups. The came up with labels to pigeon hole us. They took the position that we are all unique and are fluid and then created labels to deny that.
StuMi
Funny, I just watched the clip and my first thought was: Ted Koppel is still alive?!?!
humble charlie
i was equally surprised. he seems to be morphing into george washington. has anybody checked to see if the first president’s wooden teeth are missing?
Herman75
I don’t like the terms folx and latinx. If that bothers you, well you can kiss my gay a&&. And I mean that with all due respect.
Cam
Nobody says he can’t call himself gay. Queer just seems an umbrella term for the entire community, and let’s be honest, it is PURE Fox New playbook to take one stupid thing that one person did and use that as the excuse for an attack.
So some mythical girl said she was queer because she was tall and that’s supposed to make everyone clutch their pears and spend days screaming about the word. Give it a rest David, John Cleese already went crazy this month.
inbama
What is it about gays that we have to be associated with “umbrella terms?”
First it was the “Transgender Umbrella” meant to confuse Transsexuals (who were always part of the gay community) with heterosexual Transvestites (who were not). Result? Transsexuals who have done everything humanly possible to live quietly as the opposite sex have been shunted aside by these “Women with Penises” who call lesbians bigots and “genital fetishists” because most lesbians are turned off by so-called “ladydick.” (And we gay men, to our eternal shame, never defended lesbians from such harassment). These are the troublemakers who demand the right to go through a male puberty and then win trophies in women’s sports.
So now we have the “Queer Umbrella.” And why? Because the more letters you add to LGBTQIA+, the more gays, lesbians and bi’s are shunted aside in the movement we started.
But hey, open your wallets and keep contributing to a movement that is openly hostile to gay men because we’re “too privileged.” As far as I’m concerned, the Identity Leftists running this clown car can take their “Queer Umbrella” and shove it up their homophobic butts.
GayMafiaKingpin
I love David Sedaris. He’s my favorite author. This… this is much ado about nothing. Why is he suddenly griping about the term? It’s been reclaimed for years now. Some people hate it; others embrace it. Personally, I think it’s a nice, all-encompassing word that is at least less clumsy than LGBTQ+(the rest of the alphabet). The problem most have with it is that it was used as a slur against them. Quite frankly, “gay” has also been used as a slur by many-a-bigot.
Ronbo
Mining twitter for stories is pathetic. Sorry, but a bunch of little twits is not a story. Try harder than this, unless this kind of re-posted and filtered rehash is your best.
David Hudson, PLEASE aspire to being a real writer. This reminds me of Sigourney Weaver as Gwen DeMarco in Galexy Quest; her only job was to repeat questions to the computer. Twitter is the short-bus way of thinking.
Creamsicle
You just described 80% of the content on this blog. So much of it is a quick blurb and then a script that fetches tweets from randos. There is another 10% that is just recapping reddit threads, which is even more pointless.
Creamsicle
Also, love the reference to Galaxy Quest.
“I have one job on this lousy ship! It’s stupid! But I’m gonna do it! Okay?!”
mastik8
I have no problem with Queer. I even visit a site called Queerty. He can call himself whatever he likes as long as he keeps publishing.
humble charlie
i “think” david sedaris has too much time on his hands and is overthinking things. he needs a nice hard slap on his a$$.
Creamsicle
It’s hilarious to me how many of these comments are guys saying they hate the term queer…
On a blog called Queerty
bachy
I personally do not mind the term “queer.” For me it has a quaint quality, a descriptor for an eccentric person or outlandish event in a Dickens novel. The term’s association with the strange, the peculiar, the bizarre makes it very appealing to any person who feels himself to be at odds with the conventional, who identifies with the outsider. It’s why you see many basically heterosexual people adopting the term in an effort to differentiate themselves from the ordinary.
The fact that everyone is a little bit “queer” is a good thing for those of us who are…er, more than a little bit queer.
creampuff
Truly funny
creampuff
I’m not queer, I’m confused. After a lifetime of identifying as gay, I’m suddenly fascinated by the vagina and attracted to women. What happened? Have I been lying to myself my entire life? Don’t get me wrong, I’m still attracted to men, very much so. Am I bisexual? Or am I, in fact, just confused, which may actually be closer to queer than any other term? I know one thing, it’s all fluid…
And WHO CARES? The water is rising, live your life, do what you want to do, be kind to others.