Lance Lundsten, gay the 18-year-old Minnesota high schooler who took his own life in January, has now “officially” taken his own life: the medical examiner has ruled his death a suicide. Shortly after his death, Lance’s father was pushing an “enlarged heart” theory as what took Lance’s life. Still unknown: Whether his family will declare Lance suffered anti-gay bullying at school, which led to his death.
Adonis-of-Fire
I am always divided in stories of this kind
On one side I feel sorry for the family and I feel sorry a young precious life was wasted and never reached his potential.
On the other side I dispise weakness and I think suicide is the greatest form of weakness, and I feel no pity for those who waste their lives just because things got a little tough. We are not made of a glass, we should not allow ourselves to be broken.
Anyway
Mental illness is a disease, Adonis.
It’s not exactly the same, but you probably don’t immediately think to paint heart disease or lung cancer victims as weak and therefore deserving of “no pity”. And if you do, consider making an effort to learn compassion.
Roger
@Adonis-of-Fire:
It’s 2011. You have access to the Internet. Yet you still are clueless that depression is a result of a severe chemical imbalance in the brain. It’s a psychiatric illness that can be treated by medical professions. It’s not something that people can just wish away.
At this point, given all of the readily available information, and after 20 years of commercials about Prozac, etc., you mush be deliberately pushing away scientific evidence to justify your thoughtless position. Frankly, that reminds me a lot about how homophobes equate being gay with weakness of character.
My sympathies to the young man’s family.
divkid
@Adonis-of-Fire:”… I dispise weakness and I think suicide is the greatest form of weakness, and I feel no pity for those who waste their lives just because things got a little tough. We are not made of a glass, we should not allow ourselves to be broken.”
well, i “dispise” bad spelling in the age of the spell checker.
add that to the list your other deficits. : P
however, *serious voice* your sententious rhetoric is thwarting your capacity for real meaningful empathy.
so drop the sub-nietzschean undergrad pose and then we all love you once more.
xox
gregger
@Adonis-of-Fire: I take it that you really didn’t have to endure relentless bullying emotional and physical torture. If you did you might have a little bit of empathy for kids that; get mixed messages at home, have a a bad self image, no one to really open up to, and/or see suicide as an end to their torture.
If I was going to be judgmental like you I would have opened up with, “you self righteous little prick,” as people who hit the enter button without thinking what their words might do to another person. Our words actually re-inforce that “there is something wrong with those kids.” There is nothing wrong with those kids except that they were tortured, when you are tortured you do ANYTHING TO END THE PAIN.
justiceontherocks
@Adonis-of-Fire: I’m willing to bet that anyone who chooses the screen name “Adonis of Fire” has more issues than a Maury Povich show.
It’s hard to know which is the better description of your remarks: wrong or inappropriate. We “dispise” both.
Francis
Ignoring comment #1 for being stupidity, this obviously was a tragedy when it happened, and still is. His suicide cannot end in vain. This particular area in Minnesota is incredibly homophobic, as is the Anoka-Hennepin district. We need to put continuous pressure on these backwater areas because they will not change and protect gay kids unless forced to. These teen suicides are caused by an extreme depression, emptiness and pain and no-one who hasn’t experienced such feelings has any right to judge these kids.
Shannon1981
Poor kid. Sounds like his family might be in denial. May her RIP, and may his loved ones find some kind of peace and ability to move on with their lives.
alan brickman
There are family issues involved in this…not just being gay…
Lucky Luke
He could be depressed with no relation whatsoever to bullying.
Adonis-of-Fire
@gregger:
Well you guessed wrong, I was bullied from the age of 5 when I started to show “gay” behavior, I was even beaten by a 12 year old when I was 6 years old. I even endured both physical, mental and sexual abuse by a close relative when I was litle.
But the difference is that…Instead of that taking away my will to live…it gave me the will to survive, it fueled my fire to get out of that bad situation and never allow anyone or anything to break me down. Being very mistreated made me want to love and respect myself.
I suppose I think life is what you make of it…if you see life as an unbearable weight, it squashes you. If you see life as an opportunity to grow and evolve and become stronger and better yourself in all senses, then you can achieve what you want without fear.
I have a saying, it goes like:
Peace is for those who accept their fate
But glory is for those who defy their fate.
In other words, if my life was a fairy tale I wouldn’t be the princess waiting to be rescued…I would be the prince doing the rescueing 🙂
greenmanTN
While I wouldn’t have phrased it the same way, I think I know what Adonis-Of-Fire meant.
Believe me, I understand what it’s like to be bullied and the overwhelming nature of depression because I’ve experienced them both, and I mean Major Depression not just being “down in the dumps.” I know what it’s like to be unable to see past that awful weight that inhibits all joy. I do feel incredible sympathy and empathy for these young people and what they’re going through, but another part of me is also frustrated and angry not just at the bullies and the situation but also at those who have taken their lives for not sticking it out, for throwing away their lives over a temporary situation. For god’s sake don’t leave a suicide note telling your mom to make those bullies “feel like shit,” YOU stick around and make them feel like shit! Don’t get sad, GET MAD! You take that fear, frustration, and rage, NURTURE it if you have to, and turn it into a source of strength and the will to make it through. Yeah, “It Gets Better” but it’s not a magical process; it does take some effort and most importantly you have to stick around for it.
I’m angry at the utter goddamn waste of it all and, yeah, some of that anger goes toward the kids who went for the gun, pills, or noose and gave the petty tyrants in their community or school that much power over their lives, power over life or death. And maybe some of that anger comes from the fact that I HAVE been where they are and I know that if I made it through they could have too if only they’d just held on!
divkid
@Adonis-of-Fire:
fine. really nice philosophy…
but why don’t you throw down a rope ladder from your fairy tale ivory tower,
and tell a kid *how* to climb it;
instead of tutting at the ones who didn’t see so good in the dark as you did, and couldn’t find the way.
especially a dead kid.
it’s a decorum thing.
a little sensitivity?
you sound brave and resilient.
and ultimately i know you mean well..but still…
peace : )
Stanley
It’s such a shame Lance Lundsten committed suicide.
All he had to do was move out to West Hollywood, California. He would have fit in perfectly with the anorexic gay boys that are ubiquitous in WeHo.
Then, all he needed to do was be a hairdresser, set up a profile on Manhunt & Grindr, and look for a sugar daddy to pay the bills. Or if all else failed, he could have been a gay porn star & “rentboy.”
See? It gets better…
virgil
Dear Qweerty writers,
It looks like the sword columnist wants your job. He just picked on your this article, kind of like how faux news is picking on NYT right now.
Seriously that guy is porn writer working for a porn company and he is trying to dish qweerty, unicornbooty on your reports. Looks like wanking off leaves a lot of free time.
His article on the Corbinfishergate was the most enlightening one. Considering he is working for a Porn company, ( read as PIMP) it was shocking that he doesn’t agree with you guys, (Not that qweerty has set any standards in Journalism- Gay or otherwise.)
The greatest thing that Zach character does every time is somehow involve that adult movie star diesel washington (the only colored guy who interacts on his columns, probably in his life too), to make a fool of himself. He is bigoted writer who should stick to pimping, er porn writing and maybe you guys can call that “writer” on his game.
Its so tiresome, within the Ex-gays, exodus the GOproud and now this sword guy, the Gay community is doomed.
Chris
@Stanley: There’s nothing more pathetic than a self-hateing Queer. Sad. Perhaps you should have a little more compassion when commenting on such a sad artical.
Jeffree
@Stanley: I’ve matched your writing style & vocab within 86% accuracy to that of another troll we’ve seen before.
Nothing you say is true about yourself. Your story is inconsistent. You need to seek attention somewhere else.
divkid
@Chris: yeah. i thought it was beneath my dignity to react to that fool.
just how much of a low life would you have to be to use a dead kid as a prop for your “comedy gold”.
chris, i would recommend you swab your keyboard with some bleach, and hope your computer forgives the indignity.
Stanley
@Chris: I apologize if I came across as being a little rude from my previous post.
I just hate the fact that I’m gay. I didn’t sign up for this. When I was growing up, I always dreamed of the day when I could have a nice, spacious house in a conservative suburb in a place like Orange County, Calif., with a wife, and two kids.
Except as an adolescent, I found that I was attracted to men and their cocks — instead of women, breasts and their vajayjays. I cried so many times at night as I prayed to God to make me “normal.”
Now I’m told that “it’s gets better” but apparently that means that I have to live in a cramped apartment in a crowded, urban place like West Hollywood or San Francisco, cruise for sex with random guys, wait to become HIV positive, and be a spokesman for the Democratic Party and every liberal cause under the sun.
I sometimes wish I could commit suicide, but I’m too chicken to go through with it.
Stanley
@Jeffree: I don’t know how you know that my story is “inconsistent,” but I have only spoken the truth about my life and my personal opinions, regardless of whether you agree with them or not.
I’m not surprised that people on Queerty don’t like me much. It’s okay — I’m used to it. Socially conservative people don’t support my “lifestyle choice,” and liberals & the gay community don’t have much patience for my opinions or political views either.
I’m just tired of fighting. I’m tired of fighting myself & the world around me. I don’t want to be gay. I just want out. I’m tired of being a disappointment to my family & myself.
Good luck to you all.
Oli
@Stanley: I’m 21, gay and live in a cramped apartment in an urban area…BUT none of the things you’re saying need to be true. You can live whatever life you want to live, see: separation of church and state = best thing ever! I hope you get happier.
Gregger
@Adonis-of-Fire: Well, you need to get some blood in your veins instead of icewater
justiceontherocks
@Adonis-of-Fire: We’re all happy that you survived and are doing OK.
But this post wasn’t about you. It’s about a kid who isn’t OK. And for you to be on here taking shots at him just shows that you have some work to do on yourself.
Gregger
@Stanley: I don’t ever remember seeing such garbage full of bile and hatefulness. You must really be unhappy. I hope you get some help.
Fred
If I was a friend of Lance I would want to understand what happened in his life that allowed him choose death over life. If I was his parent I would be screaming mad and looking for answers.
Where are the screaming parents? And, what are the answers?
Adonis-of-Fire
I’m sorry my point of view was too harsh for some of you
I do feel sorry for this kid and that he never lived up to fullfill his potential…
But at the same time I keep my position, if one is drowning you got to options…stay there and wait to be rescued (which most likely end up with you dying) or start swimming and get yourself to safety. From time to time we all need a floating device that can aid us if we are drowning, but ultimately it’s up to us to reach for it instead of allowing ourselves to be drowned or waiting for someone to rescue us.
So what is it gonna be…
Will you allow yourself to be drowned?
Will you wait for someone else to rescue you and still drown?
Or will you swim and save yourself?
Soupy
Some folks can’t swim. They need lessons. Can you volunteer to do that?
Fred
Adonis – the kid was just 18 yrs old, grew up in a small town and was the only OUT kid in school. Seems to me this young man had more courage than most. You on the other hand appear to have much growing up to do. I hope you get there and soon.
gregger
@Adonis-of-Fire: You still don’t get it. This is not about pulling yourself up by your own jockstrap. The only out kid, dealing with depression, and torture. It’s very straight forward and even simple to empathize with the situation. Remember, you are not this kid, he is not you. To put your standards on someone else is to set people up to fail.
Think about what comes out of your mouth and your fingers before you send it forth to the world. Words can never be taken back.
Christian N. Roderick
@Stanley: Excuse me,but he was and STILL IS my Best Friend…a LITTLE respect would be appreciated. He was going to help kids who felt the way he did by becoming a Pediatric-Psychiatrist. He had goals and a very promising future. He scored in the UPPER Top 1% of all of the SAT-test takers that Year. He was Smart, Hilarious, My Twin and my Best Friend.
Just thought I’d mention it.
Brittany Young
Lance wasn’t gay or bullied.
Christian, really? That’s my line. Why does everyone forget that I’M Lance’s best friend…? I have been since fourth grade. You were his good friend and I think you’re still mine, right?
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