‘Yoga Barbie’ blasted as Satanic and you couldn’t make this stuff up

A woman’s Facebook posting blasting a “Yoga Barbie” as “Satanic” has gone viral and prompted thousands of comments.

Yasmeen Suri is an author, public speaker, blogger and self-described “renegade Christian” who mainly talks about Jesus, Satan and sin.

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Her posting blasted a “Yoga Barbie” (it has extra joints so can be bent into lots of different yoga positions) as the devil’s work: potentially leading to rebellious, demonic teenagers.

“‘Yoga Barbie’ is at Target on the shelf. Satan always comes as appearing innocent. He will never come with horns and a pitchfork,” Suri says.

“This Barbie has 5 guided meditations. Remember, Yoga IS Hinduism. You cannot separate the poses from the religion. Each pose is designed to invoke a hindu deity in the spirit realm. I have seen children get possessed by demons. This Barbie also teaches you deep breathing (pranayama). Her pet is also involved.

“Satan is after the children. He wants to use them and indoctrinate them for his glory. Then, when he is done, he will destroy them. As your kids grow, they will get rebellious, depressed and many will be suicidal. You won’t understand what’s happening as a parent. God forbids all practices of eastern religion as a Christian. You must remove all toys and clean your children’s room of all demonic attachments. Deuteronomy 18:10-12”

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The posting has been shared over 18k times and prompted over 13k comments. Most cannot believe it’s not satirical.

“I used to think the only thing crazier than having an imaginary friend is having an imaginary enemy, but this is some next-level stuff,” said one commentator. “Way to raise the bar!!”

“Thank you for promoting this!” said another. “I can’t wait to run to Target and buy myself one.”

“The biggest sin actually is speaking for God like you’re an expert,” another pointed out. “Which you’re not ‘thou shall not take the lord’s name in vain’ isn’t about saying “god damn” when you’re mad, it’s about using the word of god to mislead and lie. Which you’re doing. Absolutely nothing is wrong with yoga. There’s nothing in the Bible that says you cannot stretch and breathe.”

A quick look at Suri’s website and other social media reveals she’s similarly appalled by the popularity of Harry Potter (“Potter books portray the world of sorcery and witchcraft as exciting and attractive”), and unicorns (“occult in nature”).

Although her protestations may seem laughable, let’s not forget she’s not the only person who thinks this way … or that most of those in agreement are probably pretty anti-LGBTQ. Some of those to comment on her Facebook posting agreed with her viewpoint.

Last year, the state of Alabama lifted a decades-long ban on yoga in public schools. However, it maintained a bar on instructors using traditional Sanskrit names for various poses or using terms such as ‘namaste’ to greet others, because… well, that just seemed like a slippery slope toward Hinduism.

If Suri throws a fit over a yoga Barbie, goodness knows what she will make of a new Fisher-Price doll of RuPaul, unveiled yesterday.