You Mean You Didn’t Want To Caption 15-Inch Penis Tattoo With ‘I Am Gay’?

A 21-year-old Australian man has been charged with two counts of assault after tattooing a giant 15-inch penis on the back of his 25-year-old friend instead of the Asian-inspired ink the man was after. Next to the genitalia? The phrase: “‘I am gay.”

Says a detective handling the case: “The victim said he wanted a Yin and Yang symbol with some dragons. He rolled him on to his stomach and the bloke started doing the tattoo and there was another bloke standing there watching saying, ‘Mate, it’s looking really good’. When he got home he showed it to the person he lives with and she said: ‘I don’t think it’s the tattoo you were after’.”