measuring up

You’ll Find the Biggest Dicks in the Nation’s Capital. Really


Craigslist taught us Houston was full of bottoms. Then Manhunt taught us most American states declare themselves tops. But one crucial piece of information is missing from this data that should tell you where to move: penis size.

Luckily, in an effort to further cement its reputation as the website to cruise for anonymous sex, Manhunt began letting members post how they measure up. Why it took them this long, we’ll never know.

So taking its members’ inch-by-inch reports in aggregate, Manhunt can now identify where the well-endowed are hiding, and where the short stacks hang out.

And because everyone tells the truth about their dick size on the Internet, this data is completely reliable! And it reveals: Washington D.C. has, on average, the hungest guys, followed by New York and California. At the bottom of the list? Delaware, Wyoming, and dead last, Alaska. (Wikipedia says [link NSFW] average penis size is 5.1–5.9 in.)

The full list is below, but let’s look how things measure up when you split the data up into … states with same-sex marriage.

Massachusetts, 7.27
Maine, 6.98
Vermont, 7.16
New Hampshire, 7.08
Iowa, 6.96
Connecticut, 7.20

Now all we need to know? Girth … arguably a much more important data point.

So quick, start figuring out where your celebrity crushes are from, and start fantasizing about what their packing. To get you started, we’ll remind you Neil Patrick Harris is from New Mexico and now lives in California.

1. District of Columbia – 7.59
2. New York – 7.50
3. California – 7.45
4. Florida – 7.44
5. Kentucky – 7.42
6. Georgia – 7.41
7. North Carolina – 7.39
8. Pennsylvania – 7.39
9. Rhode Island – 7.38
10. Minnesota – 7.34
11. West Virginia – 7.32
12. Illinois – 7.31
13. Arizona – 7.31
14. South Dakota – 7.31
15. Texas – 7.30
16. Ohio – 7.30
17. Missouri – 7.30
18. Nevada – 7.29
19. Kansas – 7.29
20. Mississippi – 7.28
21. Oregon – 7.27
22. Tennessee – 7.27
23. Massachusetts – 7.27
24. Maryland – 7.27
25. Hawaii – 7.24
26. South Carolina – 7.24
27. Colorado – 7.23
28. Louisiana – 7.22
29. North Dakota – 7.22
30. Michigan – 7.20
31. Connecticut – 7.20
32. Wisconsin – 7.19
33. Idaho – 7.19
34. Vermont – 7.16
35. Nebraska – 7.15
36. Washington – 7.15
37. Utah – 7.14
38. Virginia – 7.12
39. Montana – 7.10
40. New Jersey – 7.10
41. New Hampshire – 7.08
42. Indiana – 7.08
43. New Mexico – 7.06
44. Alabama – 7.05
45. Maine – 6.98
46. Iowa – 6.96
47. Oklahoma – 6.96
48. Arkansas – 6.96
49. Delaware – 6.94
50. Wyoming – 6.92
51. Alaska – 6.34

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  • Fitz

    Well, aside from the BS competition thing.. the only valid part might be how FAT people are in an area– cuz fat people loose some size at the base.

  • YellowRanger

    This does not bode well for Levi Johnston’s Playgirl shoot.

  • InExile

    Poor Levi may be in trouble!

  • AlanInSLC

    I’ll still take time to see what he’s packin.

  • CCP

    The people in Alaska are probably just cold.

  • Mr. Enemabag Jones

    Because men in DC never lie about anything.

  • Qjersey

    Now subtract an inch and you’ll have accurate figures.

    I’m sure I’m not the only one who has done enough personal research on Manhunt to testify that most men lie and while I don’t mean this to be racist or offensive, it has been my experience that many black men think they have 8 inches.

    However when a guy claims 9 inches, he usually isn’t lying. LOL.

  • justin

    Well this would be cool, except for the fact that ALL THE DBAGS ON MANHUNT ARE LIARS!!

  • M Shane

    I’m more curious as to why dick size would be important at all relative(within limits. to what it’s attached to: could be a donkey or zebra and often is.. A guy told me that the most important thing is to stay skinny then your dick looks bigger if that’s a concern.
    For me a great ass beats all hands down.

  • Scott E.


    Lol I was just thinking that same thing. I live in Wisconsin and nobody I know has a size of 7.19 inches. Come to think of it, I dont think they even surpass 6.5. =P

  • Rob Moore

    I really question Georgia’s high ranking. I’ve been around here for a few decades and while there have been some really fine specimans, they were mostly average sixers. Well there was the guy who was a guy I hooked up with who then announced he was a top only. Trouble was, he had to use toys to achieve that status. Don’t get me wrong, I have had fun with toys on the odd occasion, but his idea of fun involved toys that might have intimidated an elephant. In my case, they caused me to remember that I was scheduled to break my leg with a sledge hammer in half an hour so I quickly departed.

  • Martino

    That’d be a useful tool for size queens if any man ever told the truth about his dick on the internet.

  • scott ny'er

    Alaska! Here I come.

    Yowza! Palin and 6.34. Sounds like my kind of state.

  • Sandaasu

    As usual, lop an inch off of what they claim, and it sounds about right.

  • Tonic

    I have to say that NYC has the biggest cocks I’ve EVER encountered. Before I moved here, I thought I was well-endowed. Um, nope…not when living in NYC.

  • max12

    hmmm. interesting that even the lowest ranking state of AL is still above the average 5.1 – 5.9. all this proves is that gays are liars. in my close to 20 years of being out this certainly doesn’t come as a shock.

    i’d be more interested in IQ rankings.

  • peekaboo

    In my experience, the biggest cocks have been attached to guy who didn’t even disclose their size — and what a wonderful surprise they provide

  • Mike

    Well a lot of guys on Manhunt lie about their size, and furthermore, guys with penises on the smaller size simply do not list their size, therefore they aren’t factored into the averages.

    But another reason why DC might have the largest average…Black men are known to have larger penis sizes. That is actually an accepted fact in some circles.

    And about 60% of Washington D.C.’s residents are black. Obviously no state has demographics that put their black population even close, because Washington D.C. is not a state, it is entirely made up of a single city where most of its residents are black. Many white people, whom you would think of as living in D.C., actually live in Virginia or Maryland.

    So, you have a ‘truth in advertising’ question, plus an oversampling of a particular demographic

Comments are closed.