Racism in the gay community is something that more people are beginning to recognize as a problem, with an ongoing dialogue about how to address the issue. Michael Sam made headlines when he said in an interview with Attitude that he sees more racism in the gay community than he sees homophobia in the black community.
Spenser Clark has penned a piece for Outsports which adds another strong, first-person narrative to the discussion.
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“Growing up as a young black man — and later, once I realized it, a gay black man — meant that I always had to prove I was good enough,” he writes.
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He shares a story of wanting to play with his friend when he was five years old, only to be told no because the father didn’t want his white son playing with someone that “wasn’t familiar to them.” He recalls the letdown of prom, because he was the only gay kid he knew and he just wanted to go with a date and have fun like his friends.
In many ways, things have not gotten easier since then. He continues:
Yet the most sobering moments in my life have occurred over the past two months, with the Pulse night club shooting in Orlando and the deaths of two more African-American men who didn’t deserve to die. It has been a sobering two months, but months that have changed my perspective on the world I live in.
I woke up the morning after the Pulse shooting with my heart having sunk down to my feet. I couldn’t function. I couldn’t comprehend how people who were simply enjoying life and love could so suddenly be gone.
Love is supposed to win. Love is supposed to be the strongest force in the world. But on that night it wasn’t. Our community was devastated and hurting. We felt under attack in our safe space. We were faced with two choices: live in fear or embrace love.
He chose love, prompting him to attend and march in his first ever Pride event, Chicago Pride.
Get like my squad. #Pride2016 pic.twitter.com/nMpIAN7V6h
— Spenser Clark (@spenser_clark) June 26, 2016
“I made a decision to live my truth every day,” he says. But he knows firsthand how difficult letting love win can be and how much bigotry there is left to defeat.
Being a black man is something that I am proud of, yet I know it is something that takes a little more work and requires more patience, as people doubt you and expect you to fail. Their deaths make me embrace my skin, not run from it.
Black lives matter because for so long they didn’t. The movement is about getting respect as human beings and being treated as such. We are not asking for revenge. We are asking simply for equality.
Being a double minority has its great moments, but also its drawbacks when the two groups don’t see eye to eye.
After the Pulse shooting I saw many in the black community silent, while after the police shootings I saw many in the gay community silent. We have to support each other and lean on one another in the tough times. We are stronger together.
Clark points out that it often seems as if “the only voices that get heard in the LGBT community are those of cisgender white men.”
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“Their voices are important,” he says, “but people of color have experiences and stories to tell that are just as strong. Make the community whole by giving everyone a voice and respecting all races and not just the majority.”
Clark was previously featured by the publication for his role as an openly gay batboy for the Washington Nationals.
At first, Clark was closeted while working with the team, fearing he would not be accepted.
“Going into Major League Baseball meant that I had to go back into the closet.” – @spenser_clark#outsportsreunionpic.twitter.com/ZEQ5yP9DUN
— Ty McCubbin (@ty_mccubbin) June 25, 2016
He was still fresh off the battle of self-acceptance, explaining that “from elementary school through high school” he hid his true identity and struggled with feelings of self-hatred. He started coming out during the summer leading up to his senior year. By the end of college he had come out to everyone in his life.
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Next was having the courage to come out to the team, which felt like a whole other level of coming out.
Coming out to my Nationals coworkers was a completely different experience than any of the others. At work I was tired of trying to fit into conversations about women and having nothing to say. I couldn’t express myself the way I wanted. I didn’t want to hide anymore. I was unsure about how “sports people” would feel about having a gay co-worker. I was worried about getting fired or ostracized, all because of who I am.
None of that happened. I told everyone individually and everyone had similar reactions. They were proud of me and congratulated me for feeling comfortable enough with myself to be myself. They told me that nothing would change – and nothing did.
Clark ends his essay, the first for him as a contributor to Outsports with some advice:
Love goes a long way. It’s important to take time to love yourself in the hard times because your feelings are valid and it’s okay to process them. Lean on members of your communities and use them to lift you up and continue to fight the good fight. Take care of yourself and each other.
Blackceo
Let me fix the first sentence for you. It currently reads:
“Racism in the gay community is something that more people are beginning to recognize as a problem, with an ongoing dialogue about how to address the issue.”
It SHOULD read:
“Racism in the gay community is something that more WHITE people are beginning to recognize as a problem, with an ongoing dialogue about how to address the issue.”
This shit isn’t news to Black and Brown people who have been dealing with it for years now. I appreciate that more White people are willing to entertain the issue but we Black and Brown people have long recognized it as a problem.
IDoNotHaveToAgreeWithYou
No let me fix the headline for you. Black and Brown Gays Still Refuse to Address How Homophobic Their Races are and Just Like Most Black and Brown People They Want to Blame White People for Their Own Failings.
IDoNotHaveToAgreeWithYou
Oh and has Michael Sams meet another black person finally? We all know he only hangs our with and dates white guys, so he must not know any black people.
Blackceo
@IDoNotHaveToAgreeWithYou:
What?!!! *Snaps finger* Stay on topic. What does that have to do with racism WITHIN the gay community? NOTHING!!! I know intersectionality is a foreign concept to a lot of you who don’t have to deal with it but what does homophobia in communities in general have to do with the topic at hand? I’ll wait…
IDoNotHaveToAgreeWithYou
@Blackceo: You can snap your fingers and weaver your neck all you won’t but that fact that you think white people hurting your feelings should be the topic instead of how your brotha’s will kill you and your families will disown, just proves I’m right.
Kangol
@IDoNotHaveToAgreeWithYou: Brown isn’t a race. Your headline is incoherent. Also, white hom0phobes are the ones who keep pushing anti-gay laws in the US. White hom0phobic religious fanatics (evangelicals, Southern Baptists, Catholics, Mormons, etc.) keep trying to deny you your rights. If you’re too blind to see that, what else can anyone say? @Blackceo: Thank you!
ErikO
@Blackceo: What about how black and “brown” people can be extremely r@cist towards people of other races such as white people, Latinos/hispanics, and Asian people-including other “brown” Asians?
CWM85
Can I say something. I had a friend recently who was refused to go into a bar because he was white… so I think while racism still exist and homophobia we should address all kinds of it, not just the examples were media and politicians get so amped up about. A lot lf whites are takibng hits when many are innocent like my friend, and they could use support and a platform too. Stats show most violence between whites and blacks is started by blacks that is ignored a lot by liberal media. I think we should be taking a stand against all kinds of prejudice. And let me tell you. Its not all done by whites. Many blacks have their own prejudice ways against whites… it doesn’t fit the narrative or talked about as much but it does happen.. I have a mixed group of friends and blacks by far are most prejudiced… just saying…
CWM85
Michael sam can date who he wants… geez… slamming the guy because his boyfriends are white or friends. That’s another form of prejudice, racism. So what if his bf is white? It matters if he is treated right now the color of his damn friends! Smh… sad world we live in now.
Thad
I do find it interesting that black gay sportsmen like Jason Collins and Michael Sam have been first to come out as gay in professional sports. And I applaud Spenser Clark for living honestly and openly. As a baseball fan (I was the Rockies game yesterday), I wish him all the best.
I believe it’s better to get prejudices out in the open and then deal with eliminating them.
Blackceo
@IDoNotHaveToAgreeWithYou:
Actually, I’m speaking as an observer of differences I see with the treatment of Black and Brown people in the gay community. I actually have no personal experience with it at all. I’ve never been treated poorly by a White gay but a great deal of that I believe has to do with me having a look that is more socially acceptable to many of them. And I said many. Let me clarify that I am not generalizing all White people with a broad brush. There are many White people who are very woke and very aware of these issues and speak out on them.
However, I look a certain way in terms of being very fair skinned and dress a certain way and talk a certain way that puts a lot of folks who have stereotypical ideas about beauty and actions of Black and Brown people at ease. I’m more acceptable. So no boo…I’m not even coming at this from a personal level but rather as an observer. I see how I’m treated differently as opposed to if I’m with a darker Black/Brown person and how they are treated. Sometimes the differences are subtle but are very obvious to those who deal with it constantly. Its not from everyone but it is an issue. Its not to say that there aren’t prejudiced Black/Brown folk with ignorant ass attitudes toward White people and even issues between Black/Brown people.
But thats not what this article is talking about, and White gays still have to recognize their privilege in that aspect, just as I recognize the privilege I have in that its not an issue for me because of being more socially accepted from White gays. We can’t have a real discussion about this issue unless people are ready to be honest about their feelings and simply be open to discussion about race without attacking each other. Its uncomfortable. I get it. People don’t like to talk about this but until we stop ignoring the elephant in the room we are going to continue to be a very segregated community.
And how the hell did Michael Sam get brought into this? I can’t even take your comments seriously because they aren’t even on topic.
@Kangol:
Thank you!!! Oh “Black and Brown communities are so homophobic” but who the hell is actually legislating homophobia???!!! Who is displaying that power?!! Neither is cool but the danger I worry about is when you are allowing a mix of church and state to legislate your bigotry.
Sluggo2007
I have one question: What do black and brown people talk about when they’re not whining?
AtticusBennett
@Sluggo2007: when you’re trolling online, know what your parents are doing? talking about how much they wish they’d aborted you.
Franklin
@Sluggo2007: The same thing non-black people talk about when they’re not whining.