A sad saga has emerged from the West Coast: Deborah Berlingeri is frantically looking for her 22-year-old son, Evan, who disappeared after arranging to meet someone he met on a dating/hookup app on June 19.
This is my son, Evan Flanary, 22, 6ft 1, 160 lbs, blonde hair/blue eyes, wearing blue jeans and gray hoody. Last seen on foot in the Mission district in San Francisco on June 19, 2012, meeting a stranger from a social phone app contact.
This is not like him to disappear. He has no money and his phone has died.
Anyone with information should contact the San Francisco Police Missing Persons Department 415-734-3268 or J.D. Berlingeri 541-680-2616 or their local Police Dept. Share this website [HelpFindEvan.com] on Facebook or retweet on Twitter if you can assist.
Your assistance is very much appreciated. Thank you.
While Berlingeri doesn’t indicate if her son is gay or what app he was using, we’re hoping one of you might know something. (More details have emerged on SFist.com)
We hope Evan turns up safe and sound and none the worse for wear. Aside from that, let’s remember that it can big a big, nasty world out there and to use caution and judgment when planning our reindeer games.
Paul in Canada
Thanks for posting this and contributing to the public service. Here’s hoping he’s safe and sound! Keep us posted.
Rob
I hope he turns up and is fine.
Fitz
1) hope he is ok. 2) those phone apps scare the hell out of me. You are telling some unverified person exactly where you are– CUSTOM made for predators. 3) refer to #1
nick
i hope he is okay too. although i have to say i have met plenty of people off of grindr, i’m 24, starting using it when i was 22 or 23. also met people off of dating websites. it’s always a good idea to meet up in a public place first. or to cam first, get their facebook, make sure they are real. although i have admittedly gone straight to a guys house or let someone from grindr just come over to hang out (not always sexual). and it’s always been ok. but it’s better to be cautious and meet up in public first.
UsualPlayers
No one deserves this.
However, I wish there was more done to emphasize the danger of hooking up on sites like Grindr with people you don’t even have social cues for knowing. Its just really dangerous. As I remember there have been a few incidents like this now. There must be some way to make the hookup scene safer.
Gus
Really, Colin? Since we have no real idea what has happened. He could have been in an accident before ever getting to the restaurant to meet that person for dinner. We don’t know the *down and dirty, juicy details*…..so no reason for you to *jump the shark* and talk like a jerk.
Colin
@UsualPlayers: “Hookup scene safer.” Really? Instead of addressing the cause of the disease and death (hooking up), you want to “make it safer.” Like most gays, your priorities and your perceptions are completely out of whack.
@Gus: Given that this happens from time to time, it’s safe to assume something unfortunate happened. His mother should have warned him that something bad would happen to her slut son through living this lifestyle.
Tom
@Colin: Bitch – you trollin’
Joseph
@Colin: 1) More people die in car accidents. Does that mean I should not get into a car? 2) I shouldn’t even respond since you are clearly an absolutely vile waste of oxygen, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium, etc.
Jason
The only reason were hearing about this guy is because he’s young, white, and good looking. While it is certain,y a travesty if he met an untimely end, I can only imagine if anyone would care had been black or Asian.
(We all know no one would).
Signed,
The black guy of similar-attractiveness-and-body type-to-Ethan-who-logs-into-Grindr-and-gets-no-messages-until-he-puts-up-a-pic-of-an-average-white-guy
Esculapio Mitiríades Torquedama de la Cueva
I don’t think you know what “reindeer games” are.
Red Assault
@Colin: Yes. You are right. Being a sexually active adult should carry a death sentence.
Young men who are taught to keep their sexuality a secret but can make friends online. Yes, many of the Grindr meetings are just for friendship. It’s the only way that a lot of young men and women can make friends… the internet has meant they have bad social skills in person and they make friends online.
He was in a new city and wanted to meet some local friends. (Having friends is probably a concept you’re unfamiliar with, so a “friend” is someone who you hang out with, do things with and build relationships with but don’t necessarily have sex with.)
And many young gay men use Grindr to make friends. Scruff is more older men looking for sex. Grindr tends to be younger men looking for friends. Maybe he got sick of assholes calling him “slut” or suggesting that just wanting to meet someone he hadn’t met before means that he deserved to die.
People like you.
People who like to make themselves feel less guilty and in need of “disease and death” by saying that someone else deserved it more.
But he didn’t.
Cam
@Jason:
You’re right, he looks just like Trayvon Martin.
UsualPlayers
Yes, I want to create safe spaces for people to have sex because I am not a Puritan who believes that men wanting to have sex is a bad thing.
I doubt this will get through to trolls since you are coming at this out of well an age where wanting to have sex should equal death- how can I compete with that kind of nuts.
Anyway, I hope this kind is okay. I repeat what I said- there should be a safe way for guys to have sex. Sex does not equal a disease. If your believe it does, your m ind is diseased and I would offer that you seek help but I prefer you to suffer so I will just say keep on being your miserable self.
UsualPlayers
@Cam: Stop being a racist douche.
For the record, the difference is that it took months of concerted effort to get it into the media at all with Martin, and for another part of the record, it has nothing to do with Jason’s comment so stop using shit just because your pee brain can’t think of anything better.
The truth is there is some truth to the point that white victims are noticed more. That does not however excuse the situation here where this guy needs to be found rather than making it about his race
Its to point the reality that most people of color live with- that our lives are not worth according to our society as much as white people lives are. The truth is that both lives are important- regardless of race. if only people believed that as much as I do.
UsualPlayers
While its true that this society favors and is concerned with white lives more than black lives, this is not an excuse or time to excuse whatever is happening with this kid. I hope they find him alive.
naclaw
He’s been found!
http://www.facebook.com/DeborahBerlingeri
Red Assault
Colin, did you want to revise your assholery?
ChykolateDrop
@Red Assault: of course he won’t. All a troll is good for is stir’n chit.
Colin
@Red Assault: Nope. Nothing to revise. I stand by what I wrote. Flag my comments all you want. You just prove to me that I’m right.
Red Assault
@Colin: nobody has flagged your comments. We’re not afraid to let assholes me assholes. The fact that you were 100% wrong just gives us enough tingly feeling inside.
Seaguy
Sounds like it was a good hookup and mom freaked out big time when he did not checkin. Time to have a talk with mom about the fact that your 22 and an adult who does not need mommy keeping close tabs on him anymore.
Colin
@Seaguy: She was doing what any concerned parent would when their son is living such a disgusting lifestyle. She has every right to be concerned.
Andrew
I always use to write on a note pad where I was going and the phone code of the person, just in case. Has he been found?
Baba Booey
Never meet anybody online. These people seek dates online for a reason and the reason is never, ever good.
Eddie
THEY FOUND HIM! AND HE’S FINE! It’s times like these that I’m glad I’m not a parent. It’s hard enough worrying about your friends.
RLS
He’s an idiot, and she’s a hysterical harpy who needs to let this child be an adult.
The end.
Rob
I agree Fitz I don’t use any of those phone apps but I have a younger gay male friend who has hooked up and had a lot of sex some unsafe from what he told me, with A LOT of men that way.
Rob
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2164999/Missing-San-Francisco-man-Evan-Flanary-dead-cell-phone-seeing-flyer-TV.html?ITO=1490