Closet door bustdown

“Younger” star bursts out of the closet (with a lavish gay wedding)

Younger star Nico Tortorella has made many a headline with his refreshing candor about being bi, but now another star of the TV Land show is making a bang by coming out in a big way.

In an interview with People Magazine, 31-year-old actor Dan Amboyer not only came out — he also announced he recently got married.

“Being a young actor in the industry, I had a lot of people who strongly advised me to stay quiet. That was hard to live with,” he said. “But I’ve never played a gay role before and I didn’t want to be limited by some strange perception.”

Something changed for Amboyer last week after he married longtime boyfriend Eric Berger, and he felt a new urgency to be vocal and open.

“I want to live my life moving forward with integrity and pride,” Amboyer told People. “We might start a family one day and I would feel so strangely if I didn’t celebrate that with all of my family and friends and share that with the fans. This is just the beginning of a wonderful future.”

The wedding took place at New York’s Marble Collegiate Church and was attended by many performers, Tony winner Patina Miller, Paloma Guzman and voice actor Tara Strong among them. Darren Star, Younger’s creator/producer (not to mention creator of hits over the years from Melrose Place to Sex and the City) was also there.

married life. #DandEmakesWe @levkupermanweddings

A post shared by Dan Amboyer (@danamboyer) on

DJ’ing the event was Drag Race contestant Pearl, and we’re sure everyone was feeling flazéda.

On his Younger costar Nico Tortorella, Amboyer said:

“[Nico] has inspired me by the way he’s become such an advocate for gender fluidity. I think the more open actors can be the less stigma there will be attached, which will be a positive thing moving forward.”

Get Queerty Daily

Subscribe to Queerty for a daily dose of #life #comingout #danamboyer stories and more


  • Donston

    Nico hasn’t offered “candor” just pretentious, evasive dribble and constant nakedness on Instagram. It’s funny how Dan dismissed praising him for talking about orientation and focused on his “gender fluidity”.

    I have no idea who this dude is (as per usual), but good for him I suppose.

    • thisisnotreal

      Donston the more replies of yours I read the more hypocrisy I see. You’ve written comments before putting down bisexuals and others for trying to cling to some sort of heterosexual privilege and yet you yourself constantly use the annoying and pretentious term “homo-dominant”.

      Paint a leopard to look like a zebra and it’s still a zebra, a different paint job won’t change what it is just like your “homo-dominant” phrase doesn’t repackage you as anything but a bisexual who is supposedly mostly into men. All these new terms new generations are coming up with in order to shun associations with the gay community or any community for that matter are getting rediculous.

      I label myself as a gay male but I’ve had strong romantic (but not sexual) feelings for a few different females in the past. Does that mean I need to label myself as sexually gay and emotionally pansexual just because the term gay or homosexual doesn’t fit me 100%. Hell no. You don’t need to fit a label 100% for it to be applied to you so enough with this pretentious homo dominant crap, stop disrespecting the millions of bisexuals who came and fought before you and just embrace the term and all its pros and cons instead of trying to create a new pretty box to put yourself in.

    • Jack Meoff

      @thisisnotreal, the trick is to stop reading them

    • Donston

      I guess I am a tad hypocritical and resentful but I’m also very honest. Over the years, both in real life and when comes to the world of fame, I’ve witnessed a lot of gay-shame/internalized homophobia, hetero-worship, hypocrisy and manipulation attached to the “bi pride” movement, which is something lgbt media refuse to confront. (But there are a lot of issues that lgbt media covers up with “pride” nonsense, and that ultimately leaves a lot of of people astray). And yes, I do think it’s lame for very gay-leaning or straight-leaning people to go around talking about “bi pride”. And the fact that most men who seem interested in fully embracing it come off as very gay-leaning men, very straight-leaning men, megalomaniacs and/or sexual narcissists has also triggered me and made the whole “bi-guy” movement seem even more lame. There are many exceptions. But most of those exceptions stay hush.

      I’m also just over these celebs and semi celebs who use identity primarily for press and ego reasons (and that includes “gay”). In particular, Nico’s identity and constant babbling doesn’t seem to be genuinely driven sexual attractions, passions or romantic connections. If he were interested in truly educating people and expanding people’s minds like he’s claimed he’d be straight-forward and plain about the dimensions of himself. Instead, he uses evasive and pretentious language, says things meant to shock, constantly contradicts himself, has said a few things that purports gay-shame, is constantly naked everywhere and doesn’t appear interested in ingraining himself with lgbt so much as promoting polygamy and himself. It’s a very bad look for the “movement”.

      Orientation can have a lot of facets, but if you’re gonna pump up your “complexity” and constantly use it for press or attention and yet refuse to have a truly honest conversation about yourself then you’re not helping. You’re being a selfish, manipulative fraud.

      And that, in a relatively small nutshell, is my problem with the “bi movement” and why I personally reject this “label”.

    • thisisnotreal

      As you said yourself donston human sexuality is many shades of gray and never as black and white as people want to make it. But I think your forgetting that a person can be heavily gay leaning or heavily straight leaning and still in fact be a bisexual. I don’t think I need to remind you that a bisexual is someone who is sexually attracted to both males and females, and that attraction can be 60/40 50/50 or even 95/5.

      In my personal experience a lot of the bisexuals I have met usually favored one gender over another and were rarely an even split between them, in fact one of my former female friends was probably 95% into men but that 5% attraction to women still made her a bisexual by default and she embraced it.

      I agree that the bisexual community has a lot of unique issues facing it like bi-erasure, or people who use the term bisexual as a stepping stone to test the waters before coming out as fully homosexual ala Tom Daley which leads more and more people to believe that being truly bisexual isn’t even a real thing and it’s jusf a term people made up to hold onto some sort of Heterosexual normality. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t sympathize with them. A lot of parents probably would take it easier if their child came out as bisexual over full on homosexual cuz then in their minds “my child could still marry the opposite gender and have kids and a family and live heterosexual” that is a problem with the thinking of older generations, and that sort of homophobic thinking rubs off on the child who sticks to the bisexual label like crazy and does everything they can to hold onto some sort of heterosexual priveledge and lifestyle. People using bisexual as a stepping stone is just a symptom of a larger issue.

      But your forgetting the gay community has a LOT of its own issues as well. Body/age/race/shaming (I’m only 31 and had many people tell me I’m over the hill already), gays who hate on other gays for being too effeminate and not living up to outdated masculine ideals, slut shaming, bottom shaming, you name it our community takes an issue with it somewhere.

      But coming up with new labels to identify yourself like “androphile” or “homo dominant” doesn’t do anything positive, all it does it serve to distance yourself from your own home community and paint it as something that needs to be abandoned and erased. The gay community has a million things it needs to work on and there are many things about it I do not agree with or relate to on a personal level, but like it or not I’m still a part of that community based on my personal struggles and my sexuality. If you don’t like what the bisexual community has become don’t shun it or abandon it, work hard to try and raise awareness for its issues that need to be addressed and corrected so that it can become an overall better place for other bisexuals. Changing your label to something else will only leave the bisexual community with one less passionate fighter for it, and you will create a new label and/or “group” where those same issues will bleed into and eventually implode it as well. Issues like those cannot be avoided or filtered out of any new community that is created because they are issues that are ingrained in human thinking and behavior. The only way to identify and beat those issues is to raise public awareness of them and then work to change people’s thinking and attitudes towards those things or they will just keep bleeding into any new label or group newer generations try and create for themselves. Don’t keep trying to bandage the issue, cauterize the wound itself so to speak.

    • dash_board1

      thisisnotreal, spot on. It’s like people think that changing the name of something will fix the underlying issues. It won’t. If you don’t like the stereotypes attached to ‘gay’ or ‘bisexual’ then work to fix it. Creating an endless array of meaningless terms (fluid, sexual, homoromantic, heteroflexible, androphile, homodominant, etc.) won’t change anything.

  • Terrycloth

    Never heard of this show or him.either.. why do most gay men have to make a huge deal of coming out and getting married. .YouTube is full of videos of marriage proposals ,weddings or going on about their coming out.. happy for you .but I personally don’t feel the need to tell everybody about my buisness

    • Donston

      Are you supporting the closet or just lonely?

      A straight couple might want to show their wedding. A gay couple isn’t supposed to do that? Also, coming out remains a huge deal on a personal level, especially if you spent years deeply closeted or battling demons, internalized homophobia, religious guilt, your family, etc. And homophobia remains a thing. So, never dismiss coming out.

      However, yes, when it comes these actors and actors and entertainers and wannabes and people who are constantly purporting their lives on social media there is typically an angle to everything. Hopefully, the next legit outing will be above the F-list (no offense to Dan). Haven’t gotten one of those in a while.

    • Donston

      Also, “most” is a strong word and has a whiff of homophobia behind it. Most people, no matter the orientation, don’t for real go into detail about their lives publicly. But if they did what’s the big? The thing that irks me is stuff done for attention and people manipulating their image for public consumption, which yes, reflects a lot people. But as long you’re willing to be honest and straightforward about who you are and your struggles then more power to you.

    • adam_stevens

      “why do most gay men have to make a huge deal of coming out and getting married”

      Because they are people like everyone else.

      (You have some obvious shame issues to deal with.)

    • DCguy

      What a shock, a new account attacking people for actually coming out of the closet.

      Please tell me how actually just TELLING somebody you are married is “Making a big deal” out of it?

      Are you joking? Straight people have entire shows based on whether or not the woman is going to “Say Yes to the Dress”.

  • dash_board1

    Does anyone else think that Nico is secretly pissed? This guy has totally stolen his thunder. Now when anyone mentions the out actor on ‘Younger’ people will think of this guy. And Dan is actually openly gay, not whatever Nico decides he is this week.

    • dash_board1

      I should probably preface my comment by saying that I think Nico is a publicity whore who will say whatever about his ‘fluidity’ in order to garner attention.

    • Donston

      Gay media conveniently glances over all the ridiculous things that he’s said beyond his general pretentiousness and contradictions: I’m not gay because I mostly hang out with women (as if many gay and gay-leaning/homo-dominant men don’t hang out with chicks), I date men not because I’m gay but because I’m self-aware and self-confident, most black men who have had sex with guys are gay, I’m “fluid” because I like different people’s “energy”, white men don’t have a sense of gender or sexuality, it’s not about sexual attraction but physical attraction, I refuse to be trapped by my attractions, and so forth. All of these things (as well as “dating” Lindsay Lohan in the midst of her breakdown, all the constant nakedness and refusal to talk about his sexual attractions, passions and desires, and doing anything to get some publicity) hints towards a sexual megalomaniac of whatever orientation and general attention whoring headcase.

Add your Comment

Please log in to add your comment
Need an account? Register *It's free and easy.