As a general rule of thumb, it’s usually best not to fool around with your coworkers, especially your boss. But we’re all human. And we all make mistakes.
In a juicy new confessional published by Gay Pop Buzz, writer “Mike in the Midwest” says he knows what he’s doing is wrong, but he just can’t quit.
“It’s not like I planned any of this,” Mike says. “Honestly, I didn’t.”
To make a long story short, 35-year-old Mike and his 33-year-old boss “Nick” both work at a large industrial company. Mike is gay. His boss is, as Mike puts it, “well, he doesn’t know WTF he is (but to the outside world, he’s straight).”
During their first year working together, the guys would occasionally flirt with one another, but nothing ever came of it, mainly because Nick was married to a woman.
Related: Straight Man Seeks Advice After Sleeping With His Married Boss
Then last fall, Mike’s car broke down in the parking lot and Nick, who Mike describes as having a “scruffy face, hairy chest and bad boy vibe,” offered him a ride home.
“I could sit here and tell you that I should have said no and declined the offer,” he writes, “but the truth is, I didn’t. There’s no use is me trying to pretend otherwise.”
On the drive back to Mike’s place, Nick mentioned his wife was out of town. The conversation turned flirty and when they reached Mike’s apartment, he invited him in.
“Call me a whore, stupid or both but I knew that if I invited him inside, something would happen,” he says. “And folks, that’s exactly what I did.”
“That first time didn’t last long – maybe 20 minutes,” he recalls. “We ended up messing around on my couch in the living room. Obviously, I knew he was married when I did it. And yes, I should have been a better person.”
Related: Guys who cheated on their girlfriends with other guys just can’t keep quiet
Mike says he felt guilty afterwards, but that didn’t stop him from doing it again. And again. And again. And again.
They’ve hooked up at Mike’s place. At work. At a local shipyard. Pretty much whenever and where ever they can sneak away for 30 minutes or so.
But lately, things have taken a turn.
“In recent weeks, it’s started to dawn on me that I may be in over my head,” Mike confesses. “I’ve started to develop feelings for him. Seriously, I have. Worse, they seem to be growing more intense. … Honestly, I think I’m in love.”
He continues, “I know where this is going. I’m going to end up getting hurt because in the end, he’s an emotionally unavailable man. And maybe that’s part of my attraction to him? Perhaps there’s some part of me that is attracted to guys who are impossible?”
Then there’s the issue of Nick’s wife that keeps Mike up at night.
Related: Married man grapples with bisexual urges and being faithful to wife, seeks advice
“I wonder when he’s inside of her if he thinks of me?” Mike writes. “In turn, can she tell that her man is unloading somewhere else? Women always have a sixth sense. You know?”
He concludes: “At some point, something is going to happen because this can’t go on forever. I should stop this. But I don’t want to. At least not right now.”
jkthsnk
Not made up on Reddit? How rare.
rand503
Classic sexual harassment committed by the boss. The company will be on the hook should the employee make any issue of this, and the company will likely fire the boss. So the boss has a lot more to lose, legally. Plus, he will likely lose his wife.
When the affair ends (and it will, most likely when the boss realizes what a bad situation this is for him), he will likely fire the employee, but at least he would have a sexual harassment claim against the company.
Yeah, not a good situation. Have fun while you are at it, but realize that the train wreck is coming. Better to cool it off now while you are ahead.
Roan
^^This
Roan
I meant to add that once everyone at work finds out, and they will find out, he will be known as the guy who f*cked the boss. Who doesn’t love that person? Everything he did, every achievement, every favor, every raise, literally everything will be judged.
Frank
Have sex with your boss and GET PAID….if the boss is that stupid take the money and get laid at the same time…
Chris
“Call me a whore, stupid or both but I knew that if I invited him inside, something would happen,” he says. “And folks, that’s exactly what I did.” ….. Okay, you’re a stupid whore.
Now do the right thing and break it off with your boss, at once. And tell him that it was a mistake.
No need to go to HR unless the company has a “you must disclose” policy. In that case, meet with someone in private, disclose, and tell them you’ve cut it off.
Finally to protect yourself against retaliation, write yourself a memo about the whole affair; and mail it to your lawyer (via certified mail) with instructions that (s)he is not to open the letter until/unless you tell him to do so.
WHATEVER you do, do not go to his wife. If you do that, then you come off as the one retaliating. If your boss retaliates, you’ve gone to HR and have documentation. She’ll find out soon enough without your going to her.
The sooner you start to clean up this mess, the sooner you can have an adult relationship with someone.
Tobi
Ask for a raise.
Alan down in Florida
Update the resume and find new employment. If he pursues you after you’re gone he’s thinking of you when he’s in her. Then you two need to have a serious talk – which probably won’t go well.
muscl954
I don’t believe in a claim of sexual harassment if both men willingly participated in the affair. If a threat of exposure of the affair was being used to coerce one or the other party into continuing the dalliance, then a case for sexual harassment could be made. But, yes. Mike, you’re a whore – and a stupid one, at that. You’ve shown extremely poor judgment time and time again every time you have slept with your boss AND who is a married man. A DOUBLE WHAMMY! Your boss is equally at fault, possibly even more so, since he knowingly and willingly cheated on his wife with you. Remove yourself from this dangerous situation ASAP. Find a new job and get the hell out of there. Every day you stay employed with that company brings potential ruin to your career and reputation, “Nick’s” career, reputation, and family, and the company’s reputation.
StudMuffin
I met the love of my life, Doug, the hotel controller at a Sheraton hotel, where I was transferred to study under him. I went to the lobby to meet him, and when he came out of the restaurant and walked toward me, all the angels in heaven sang; there were clouds and a bright light all around him. I was absolutely smitten. We stared into each other’s eyes and…Oh.My.God! I was 26 and he was 29.
One night he spilled a glass of beer on himself, then said, “I guess we’ll have to go to your place so I can change into one of your pants.” When I saw him naked with a full erection, I stripped immediately and thus began our first tryst.
He was a fantastic boss and taught me everything about hotel accounting for three months, until we were transferred to different properties, but we kept in contact through letters and phone calls
Doug and I officially began our commitment eleven years later in 1978, when he was 40 years old, and I was 37.
On March 17, 2012, Doug passed away after we spent 33 glorious years together. I had a weeklong hospital stay and when I came home I found his body laying on the floor in our bedroom, in a prenatal position.
I knelt down and touched him only to find that his body was cold, stiff, and blue. When the emergency technicians were wheeling him out of the apartment, I asked if they would open the bag so I could see him one last time. He was lying there peacefully; I kissed him and said my last goodbye.
StudMuffin
I forgot to mention that he was married and I became a good family friend. He later divorced her to be with me.
MediaGuy
StudMuffin. You were lucky to have had that time.
DCguy
Another article about somebody having sex with a “Straight” guy. Really?
Simple answer, treat it like you had a one night stand. If the boss tells you he wants more, fine, tell him to grow a set and come out. Otherwise, spare yourself the cliché of pumping up his ego so he can agonize over whether or not to come out blah blah blah.
Roan
At a shipyard?
Heywood Jablowme
LOL – you zeroed in on the most mysterious point.
kehvan
What do you do?
You metaphorically kick yourself in the ass repeatedly for being stupid.
amigay
Try again guys. Seen this script filmed before and it wasn’t that great the first time around.
charlenecoleman4555
dsfffffffddddd
??????O
just before I saw the paycheck which was of $9068 , I did not believe …that…my father in law was like they say actually taking home money in there spare time on their computer. . there brothers friend haze done this for less than seven months and at present paid the loans on there apartment .. .??????? ?????____BIG…..EARN….MONEY..___???????-</b
robert_moore
Well, take it from someone who got caught in bed with by his wife. We had been involved for nearly a year when it happened. Stop, now, or you will pay a really steep price that will make it all seem too heavy for what you got out of it.