As a general rule of thumb, it’s usually best not to fool around with your coworkers, especially your boss. But we’re all human. And we all make mistakes.
In a juicy new confessional published by Gay Pop Buzz, writer “Mike in the Midwest” says he knows what he’s doing is wrong, but he just can’t quit.
“It’s not like I planned any of this,” Mike says. “Honestly, I didn’t.”
To make a long story short, 35-year-old Mike and his 33-year-old boss “Nick” both work at a large industrial company. Mike is gay. His boss is, as Mike puts it, “well, he doesn’t know WTF he is (but to the outside world, he’s straight).”
During their first year working together, the guys would occasionally flirt with one another, but nothing ever came of it, mainly because Nick was married to a woman.
Then last fall, Mike’s car broke down in the parking lot and Nick, who Mike describes as having a “scruffy face, hairy chest and bad boy vibe,” offered him a ride home.
“I could sit here and tell you that I should have said no and declined the offer,” he writes, “but the truth is, I didn’t. There’s no use is me trying to pretend otherwise.”
On the drive back to Mike’s place, Nick mentioned his wife was out of town. The conversation turned flirty and when they reached Mike’s apartment, he invited him in.
“Call me a whore, stupid or both but I knew that if I invited him inside, something would happen,” he says. “And folks, that’s exactly what I did.”
“That first time didn’t last long – maybe 20 minutes,” he recalls. “We ended up messing around on my couch in the living room. Obviously, I knew he was married when I did it. And yes, I should have been a better person.”
Mike says he felt guilty afterwards, but that didn’t stop him from doing it again. And again. And again. And again.
They’ve hooked up at Mike’s place. At work. At a local shipyard. Pretty much whenever and where ever they can sneak away for 30 minutes or so.
But lately, things have taken a turn.
“In recent weeks, it’s started to dawn on me that I may be in over my head,” Mike confesses. “I’ve started to develop feelings for him. Seriously, I have. Worse, they seem to be growing more intense. … Honestly, I think I’m in love.”
He continues, “I know where this is going. I’m going to end up getting hurt because in the end, he’s an emotionally unavailable man. And maybe that’s part of my attraction to him? Perhaps there’s some part of me that is attracted to guys who are impossible?”
Then there’s the issue of Nick’s wife that keeps Mike up at night.
“I wonder when he’s inside of her if he thinks of me?” Mike writes. “In turn, can she tell that her man is unloading somewhere else? Women always have a sixth sense. You know?”
He concludes: “At some point, something is going to happen because this can’t go on forever. I should stop this. But I don’t want to. At least not right now.”