This story has it all — jilted lovers, legal drama, modern celebrity and onscreen breakdowns.
And yet upon closer inspection, it also has absolutely nothing at all; perhaps less than nothing.
Without getting lost in an examination of modern internet celebrity, let’s just assume that heavily auto-tuned singer Trisha Paytas having 2.6 million YouTube followers makes any earthly sense whatsoever.
These are the days we’re living in.
It’s truly tempting to get hung up on that one contextual fact, but we simply must move on — there’s a lot of absurd ground to cover here. Besides her vocal stylings, Trisha deals in emotional outburst videos. We only just discovered that’s even a genre, but apparently the people love it.
They’re like the moments in life you try to forget about by remembering how much good surrounds you, except recorded and blasted out into the public sphere for consumption, ridicule and with any luck, some revenue.
The 28-year-old posted a breakup video on Saturday, after her Snapchat friend allegedly saw Trisha’s boyfriend, Sean van der Wilt (oh come on now) kissing someone at a club.
Is her video, “he cheated. i’m done,” a sly commentary on the fragility of trust and connection in the internet age, or is it merely a sobbing, bizarre mess?
Definitely that second option.
This was followed by the twist that this mystery homewrecker is actually a guy.
Which led to this natural question: “is sean van der wilt gay?”
See what we mean? There’s a lot, and also literally nothing, to process here.
Trisha, for her part, wasn’t processing very well. Shocking — we’d never expect someone who bleeds every thought and emotion out onto the internet to be ill-equipped to handle big change.
She posted her next video as something of a desperate plea to return to Sean’s good graces.
We’ll save you the experience of actually watching it and just give you this detailed analysis: Wow.
Having done all she could do (it must have been tempting to hold back on just one more video), Trisha waited for a response.
That response came in the form of a new legal matter:
“Sean is suing me,” Trisha tells us, now in a near-manic state.
And to close out the rollercoaster that is Trisha’s life, her next video — “I’m a chicken nugget” — is the best advertisement we’ve seen for therapy we’ve seen in a while:
In total, she’s posted another five videos about her mental state over the ordeal that have something of a cathartic arch to them:
These culminate in Trisha herself coming out as gay:
Either Trisha is an internet marketing genius, masterfully orchestrating a “breakdown” while watching the view-based revenue pour in, or–
On second thought, we’re just going to choose to believe that premise. The alternative is far too bleak.