Spock + Kirk

Zachary Quinto’s Erotic Star Trek Sex Scene That You Weren’t Supposed to See (Or Hear)

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Barack “Ignorant Motherfuckers” Obama narrating his own tome isn’t the only audiobook fun you can have. Take Zachary Quinto doing the voice over for Star Trek‘s audiobook. With some creative splicing, it turns into one very hot piece of erotica called “Spork.” Please, guys, make sure you’re in a place where your lap is hidden from public view when you give this thing a listen. (UPDATED: Working audio.)

The language is NSFW, as you can read from the transcript (via ONTD):

Spock moved toward the command chair. Kirk thrust out a hand to restrain the reaching fingers. “What are you doing?” As he met the Vulcan’s gaze, one of the science officer’s eyebrows rose prominently. He had chosen to cross a very dangerous line. “I thought you’d respond positively to such an offer,” Spock explained calmly. Kirk goggled up at him, unsure how to react. Spock moved closer and placed his fingers against Kirk’s face. Kirk was stunned.

Working his way downward, his fingers appraised, knowingly, precisely. Spock knelt and placed his hands on his chest, driven to his knees by an overwhelming desire. His examining fingers had traveled as far as his thighs. After a long moment he looked up at Kirk. “I am always open to suggestions,” Spock declared. Erect in the command chair, Kirk was not surprised to find that he was enjoying himself. “Suck me,” Kirk opined plaintively.

Spock certainly did not require additional explication. Tilting his head, he began sucking on his cock. His mouth moved, sliding repeatedly along the length of his instrumentation. Kirk let himself slide a little lower in the chair. Unexpectedly, Spock was groaning. His tongue encircled the pressure-sensitive surface. Kirk’s fingers tightened on the arms of the command chair. “Oh god.”

Eyes wild, head lolling, Kirk unloaded a massive burst. “Yes. YES.”

His lower lip swollen, Spock looked up at him. It was difficult to tell, but it was possible that he was pleased.

Spock wasn’t finished. Abruptly he stood up. “Gngngfnferrrrnrrfgggg!” Kirk was more than slightly confused. “What?” Spock was forced to swallow. “Out of the chair,” he commanded. That was all Kirk needed. Abruptly he stood up straight, looking up at him and meeting his gaze. Spock stared back at him, hard and frustrated beyond measure. Reaching out, he wrapped his fingers around Kirk’s upper right arm. “I need,” the Vulcan confessed.

Kirk nodded. Bending over, he readied himself. Spock tore into him. Pressure. Heat. Kirk’s eyes fluttered and started to roll back into his head. “Yes, yes!” The Vulcan pounded him relentlessly. Kirk’s moaning increased exponentially as Spock slid in and out of his ass. Spock gasped, head thrown back and eyes half closed. The torrent of tightly contained tornadic plasma that roared forth nearly sent him toppling backward.

Breathing hard but evenly, Kirk settled back down in the command chair. Spock sat beside him. They locked eyes. It had all happened so fast. Kirk put both arms around him, and they kissed. Kirk finally asked the question that could not be avoided. “What is happening here?” “I love you,” Spock replied softly.

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16 Comments

  • romeo

    Saw this movie. Totally missed this scene. LOL

  • Cam

    Video no longer available…. So i’ll go ahead and post this clip from the online Star Trek Series “Phase Two” This is a scene with Kirk’s Nephew…. Peter.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYPAivdv8Ds

  • Cam

    And of course….this oldie but goodie Video on “What if, when Spock went into his mating freak out….they hadn’t made it back to Vulcan in time. LOL

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uxTpyCdriY

  • rf

    Howard Stern’s splicing of audio books is much, much, much better!

  • B Damion

    That scene should have been in the trailer…at the very least. I didn’t see this in the movie

  • christopher di spirito

    Chris Pine! Yummy.

  • Rikard

    Works for me.

  • Viking

    Kirk “opined plaintively”?

    Just because it’s porn doesn’t mean it has to be sub-literate.

  • fuzzypony

    How is Kirk/Spock new? Where have you been for the past 40 years?

  • UWSguy

    someone has too much time on his hands

  • PootieTang

    so did QUINTO COME OUT?

  • FunWithGrindr

    This is damn funny. Love Zachary’s voice anyway — set it to narrate porn hilarity and it’s even better! :)

  • LOLSIES

    ahahahahaha YES :D Trust me, as if I wasn’t obsessed with the film enough already, shove this scene in their and I’d be high on happiness ! Pinto/Spirk NOM <3

  • LOLSIES

    ahahahahaha YES :D Trust me, as if I wasn’t obsessed with the film enough already, shove this scene in there and I’d be high on happiness ! Pinto/Spirk NOM <3

  • rach

    OMG, I cannot describe my feelings right now. Such a genius, thank you for uploading this.=?

Comments are closed.