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Knife-Wielding Sandwich Nearly Slashes HX Staffer!

hxsandwich.jpg
Drama simply finds perpetually scandalized fag rag HX and its employees!

Agnesini, who works in the weekly’s design department, has filed a $1 million lawsuit against Subway sandwiches after he says he found a knife in his foot-long. From The NY Post:

[Agnesini says] he was horrified when he spotted the 7-inch blade inside his lunch.

“After taking a few bites I could tell something didn’t taste right,” Agnesini said.

“Then I felt something hard on the bottom of the bread. I turned it over and could see the knife baked inside.”

He said the sharp edge of the stainless steel knife was facing upward and extended into the half of the sandwich he had begun to eat.

“It’s shocking. You see this metal knife. I mean, it’s one thing seeing a hair or something,” Agnesini said. “If I didn’t look at it, could you imagine what would happen? I could’ve slashed the side of my mouth.”

With a knife!!

Subway had no immediate comment on this particular incident, but insist they’re committed to the safety and health of their customers. As for the mental capabilities of their bakers – well, that’s obviously open to debate.

By:           Andrew Belonksy
On:           Jul 16, 2008
Tagged: , , , , ,
  • 14 Comments
    • Tallskin
      Tallskin

      Has this some relevance in a gay website???

      Is it a gay knife?

      A gay sandwich?

      or have I missed the point

      or have you?

      Jul 16, 2008 at 12:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • No 4
      No 4

      Well at least now they might be able to ACTUALLY write about something worthwhile that doesn’t suck.

      Jul 16, 2008 at 12:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • alsdfj
      alsdfj

      this man is a pathological liar, i bet he made the whole thing up!

      Jul 16, 2008 at 12:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • The Avatar of Blue!
      The Avatar of Blue!

      @ALSDF3: I don’t think so, unless he somehow stole one of the knives Subway workers use. I used to work at a Subway — they bake all their bread in the store, and that knife is the knives that we used to use.

      Jul 16, 2008 at 2:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hedda lettuce
      hedda lettuce

      I know that queen. he’s had worse things in his mouth.
      hell, I’m surprised he still has a gag reflex.

      Jul 16, 2008 at 2:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bastard Step Child
      Bastard Step Child

      I’m surprised Andrew didn’t take a swipe at HX and say the $1 million was to carry him over when HX does another house cleaning and fires entire departments without warning.

      Jul 16, 2008 at 3:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Just Asking
      Just Asking

      Wouldn’t the appearance of such a knife have been a more appropriate occurrence at HX’s sister publication, the New York Blade?

      Jul 16, 2008 at 3:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Rob
      Rob

      I wonder what kind of finders fee this employee is paying to HX?

      Jul 16, 2008 at 5:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike
      Mike

      So, he didn’t cut himself. The knife never harmed him in anyway.

      Why is he suing for $1 MILLION??

      Jul 16, 2008 at 11:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hell Kitchen Guy
      Hell Kitchen Guy

      Did he get cut? No – then toss the case out. What a money grubbing creep that creates more stupid paper work for legitimate legal team who are trying to combat car accident victims, those with birth defects, natural disaster victims – those who deserve compensation – not a fat troll who sits in a closet and eats subway sandwiches all day.

      Jul 17, 2008 at 6:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dilroy
      Dilroy

      That knife does look like it came from a fast food kitchen. Look at all the melted plastic on it. Seriously.

      Jul 19, 2008 at 1:46 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • LOLWUT
      LOLWUT

      Don’t they make the sandwiches right in front of you at subway? Or have they stopped doing that?

      Jul 25, 2008 at 3:07 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • HXIntern
      HXIntern

      I work with John…this whole thing is legit..he went to buy a sandwich, brought it back to the office & found the knife inside. It was kind of shocking & he chose to pursue a legal course of action only after being advised to do so because eh was too stunned to think clearly from the scare of almost cutting his mouth.

      Jul 27, 2008 at 9:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dilroy
      Dilroy

      You had credibility up until the point you said, “he chose to pursue a legal course of action only after being advised to do so because eh was too stunned to think clearly.”

      Sounds like you’re saying he was coaxed into legal action during a state of mental duress which means his ‘advisors’ (e.g. meddling coworkers) are guilty of taking advantage of him in his diminished capacity.

      That or you’re all full of shit and it’s just about money.

      Jul 28, 2008 at 12:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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