Itâ€™s been years since male model Swedish Marcus Schenkenberg ruled the runway. But this cultural irrelevance hasnâ€™t stopped The Localâ€™s Paul O’Mahony from devoting this irreverently informative, unnecessarily schizoid â€œIntroducingâ€¦â€ column to 38-year old Schenkenberg.
In addition to proving those essential introductory details â€“ dated Pam Anderson, fucks mad reality hoes and likes PeTA â€“ Oâ€™Mahony informs us that Schenkenberg has recorded a Ricky Martin-flavored single:
…The muscular Swede with the Dutch ancestry also released a single. For a man purported to speak five languages – none of them Spanish – the decision to release a song called â€œLa Chica Maritaâ€ had more to do with the success of Ricky Martin-inspired Latino pop than his own fondness for some chica called Marita.
This shitâ€™s anything but caliente. In fact, itâ€™s frio. Muy, muy frio. Whomever told Schenkenberg he should sing, dance or even speak must be tracked down and punished. Seriously. This video counts as the top-five worst things in human history. Even worse than racism and genocide. Thatâ€™s bad.
Check it out, after the jump. Unless you want to maintain your Marcus-related masturbatory fantasies, in which case we donâ€™t advise viewing â€œLa Chica Maritaâ€…