Russia is really working overtime to ensure its title as The Worst, with lawmakers planning to reintroduce a ban on gay blood and organ donations from gay men and government-sponsored reparative therapy to return gays to a “normal life.”
“We will suggest amendments to the law on donors that reintroduce homosexuality to the list of contraindications for blood donations in Health Ministry instructions,” said State Duma MP Mikhail Degtyarev, referring to the ban that Russia dropped in 2008.
Ugh, can you imagine such an outdated and discriminatory practice? Oh, wait, you probably can since the FDA has had a similar ban in place (and uninterrupted) for like 30 years. And it’s that very same ban that the Health Ministry is using to justify the reintroduction. Way to set an example for the world, America.
According to Degtyarev, however, that’s not discrimination at all. He claims 65% of all HIV-positive Russians are gay, citing no sources whatsoever, but facts and the Russian government are passing acquaintances at best. The Moscow mayoral candidate also wants to introduce free gay conversion therapy, even though it’s been discredited at every turn. But once again, facts + Kremlin = fuck off.
Degtyarev also added that the lower house was working on the initiative to offer gays voluntary anonymous consultations with psychologists, psychotherapists and sexologists that would help them to “return to normal life and become heterosexuals, as are 95 to 99 percent of our citizens.”
And that’ll solve everything, since without any gays the government won’t have to worry about that troublesome and incredibly vague anti-gay propaganda law, and the Sochi Olympics can go off without a hitch. Or something along those lines.
By the way, that propaganda law — which also isn’t discriminatory — doesn’t preclude gay pride events, Degtyarev reasoned, just as long as they’re basically invisible.
“The law presumes that they should not hold gay pride events when children can see them,” he wisely explained. “But it is very possible to hold them at night, with flashlights and without amplifiers.”
Because nothing smacks of pride like quietly sulking about in the middle of the night, dodging any children who might still be awake and curious as to the homosexual light show going on outside their windows.
Let’s just add “logic,” “common sense” and “irony” to the Russian government’s long list of enemies, along with facts and, of course, the gays.