And by "America," we mean the readers of People magazine. (Though that's the same magazine that keeps naming Hugh Jackman the sexiest man alive, so they must be doing something right.) Meanwhile, first First Lady Martha Washington scored a resounding "80% hot" score, but only because People totally substituted the image we all associate with her.

“The notion that there could be ‘legal consequences’ for airing two men kissing on network TV in 2009 is stunning” (7)
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I think, realistically, if cleopatra walked in and asked for a shag more than 48% of america would say yes. Hell, I'd say yes, if not just for bragging rights.
OK, two things:
1) You've spent so much time rallying against the idea that we can even call someone in the 18th cent. gay, and now you're going to call a 16th and 17th cent. man with a wife and kids a homosexual? Bisexual if you're gonna put our labels on (Hathaway certainly wasn't the only woman he had), but even that seems tacky.
2) Oh, lord I realize it's the sexiest portrait of him in contention, but almost most serious scholars reject the idea that the Cobbe portrait is authentic or even meant to be Shakespeare (http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03.....mp;st=cse)
What? No "Who wore it best?" competition?