Barack Obama Stops Linking Rainbows To Terrorists

Granted, it was the most obnoxious rainbow in the federal government, but the five-color Homeland Security Advisory system at least gave us a little dose of queer cheer every time somebody put explosives in his underpants and boarded a plane. Phased out by April 27, the color-coded alert levels will be replaced by something called the National Terrorism Advisory System, which will rely not on colors but actual words to describe specific threats. Making Americans read to understand why they must remove another article of clothing while going through the airport security line? We’re screwed.