The Boy Scouts’ membership rolls are drying up. Focus On The Family is laying off staffers. And now Exodus International is facing a stiff cash crisis. Budget cuts are sweeping the not-for-profit world devoted to demonizing homosexuals. And you’re being asked to pray for their recovery!
Alan Chambers, Exodus’s president (pictured), posts to the organization’s Facebook page: “Dear friends, please pray for us at Exodus. We have experienced an unexpectedly low giving season this summer coupled with much higher expenses (insurance, utilities, etc). Sadly, we have had to let several staff go. Your prayers are appreciated. For those who are also having to endure this unfriendly economy, our prayers are with you!”
Things are getting so bad at the ex-gay HQ that Exodus is “holding clearance sales to get rid of its quack-therapy books,” notes TWO. “Its pseudo-Jewish ally JONAH is begging for donations of old clothing.”
Though any decent financial adviser will take one look at Exodus’ annual budget and nix the line-item concerning “counseling gays and lesbians to choose a new lifestyle” that just isn’t delivering the return on investment it once did.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
So let’s everybody get down on our knees, bring our palms together, and begin praying that Exodus will have the funds to continue operating for as many more years as executive vice president Randy Thomas remains celibate.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
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Mr. Enemabag Jones
Anyone notice that Alan Chambers never smiles with his eyes? Below the nose–big ol’ smile. Above the nose–dead. Nothing.
Steve
And here I thought homosexual demonization industries would last even if common sense, much less science, proved that they were pure evil and wrong. I guess I was wrong.
hephaestion
Does God Want Exodus International to Fail? Yes, She does.
Fitz
Though it will take me a dangerously high dose of viagra, I will make a significant donation to exodus to skull fuck him on his desk at Focus on the Family. Not cuz I think he is attractive. (blech). Just for the fun of it humiliating him.
Gew
Naw… he/she/it is just testin’ their faith.
Cam
@Mr. Enemabag Jones:
Of course, all prostitutes have dead eyes when they are “Working”. He knows what he’s doing isn’t real.
greybat
Maybe they they could branch out? Open a Dating Service for Ex-Gays?