Gay “Killer” Seeks Soul Mate

Are you into admitted murderers? Well, you’re in luck, because Michael L. Woodbury‘s looking for love!

The 31-year old convict and self-professed triple murderer recently posted an ad on Cyberspace Inmates in which he writes:

My dislikes are: silly peasant mind games, liars, polluters, mindless greed, the anti-gay establishment, stupidity, ignorance and “shallow plastic robot people” aka Sheeple. I am looking for my soul mate. I believe in this concept. He will be non-christian, have a mind of his own, have some similar interests, be willing on occasion to cross dress, and must be into trying new things, both indoors and out.

Woodbury also describes himself as “sexually adventurous and ‘very’ virile”. That’s nearly as scary as Woodbury’s confession to killing three people last week. He told reporters “Unfortunately, I did it” – as in killed James E. Walker, 34, 23-year old Gary Jones and 25-year old William Jones.

Woodbury also reiterated that he asked prison officials in Maine, where he lived as a prisoner until last month, that they shouldn’t release him lest he, well, kill three people, as he allegedly did last week in New Hampshire.

I reached out and told them I need medication. I reached out and told them I shouldn’t be in society. I warned them this would happen.

They can’t say he didn’t warn them. Nor can you say we didn’t warn you: don’t apply to Woodbury’s ad. It will only end in heartbreak. And, possibly, death.