• We're drooling over the Sun's rave review of Madonna's new album. November 14 can't get here fast enough. And we just found out she is on Letterman tonight too!

• We're not done with her just yet. Some no-name publicity-seeking "artist" is suing Madge for stealing her music. This might actually explain American Life. (Last Item)

• A Massachusetts father is fuming that homosexuality is being taught to his son at school, going so far as to complain in person. We only wish our parents had felt this strongly about math.

• All of you Bay Area fags who bought tickets to this weekend's live performance of the ultra-cool Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical episode are out of luck. It's been canceled. Seems like a little bitch named Copyright got in the way.

• We're not voting Hilary for President in 2008, we're voting Bill for First Lady.