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STRANGER THAN FICTION

Kooky Priest Wears Orange Skirt To 72-Year-Old Parishioner’s Home, Shows Her His Holy Scepter

Unicorn Booty turns our eye toward the strange and lurid tale of Rev. Robert C. Christian, a 61-year-old senior pastor who decided on a whim to (a) wear a skirt over a 72-year-old parishioner’s house, (b) go to the bathroom to jerk off while she made him coffee, and (c) expose himself and his erect penis to our faithful old lady.

It is unclear how much of this Spokane, Wash. scene was premeditated, but good lord Baby Jesus is it weird. (A dramatic recreation of the incident, at right.)

Reports the Spokane Spokesman-Review:

The woman, who lives alone, said Christian said he’d lost a bet and had to wear a skirt for the day, according to court documents. The woman invited Christian in and he asked to use the bathroom. He emerged from the room after an extended period and sat down at the dining room table for coffee. It was then the woman saw Christian’s erect penis sticking out the front of the button-up skirt, police allege.

The victim said her cultural beliefs prevent her from making allegations against people in positions of authority, so she said nothing to Christian. He stayed at the home until two real estate agents arrived for a previously arranged showing of the home. Christian told the victim “don’t tell them I’m a pastor” and left after explaining to the real estate agents he “had lost a bet which was why he was wearing the skirt,” police say.

Sketchy. Kooky. Creepy. And not so right. And Christian has a wife. Who’s defending him!

Christian’s wife told detectives that she and her husband are “out of the box thinkers” who like to do fun things to get attention for the church, such as wearing sandwich boards and walking up and down the street.

“Out of the box thinkers” should be used to describe people who develop new iPhone features that the world instantly becomes addicted to. It should not be used to describe people who adopt the embarrassing methods of midtown delis or homeless people.

Christian: proving that being a pastor does not necessarily make you such a good Christian after all.

photo by: Laura HB
By:           Evan Mulvihill
On:           May 9, 2012
Tagged: , ,
  • 5 Comments
    • JAW
      JAW

      Sorry… he is Not a priest… he is a Rev or a Pastory… the Heritage Congregational Church does not have priests

      looks like catholics do not have all the sick Reverends.

      Nice try on picking on catholics again

      May 9, 2012 at 1:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Guest
      Guest

      @JAW: JAW is right, this was not typical Catholic clergy behavior, like fucking a child or taking rights away from gay people.

      May 9, 2012 at 2:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Pixie
      Pixie

      Dude, it’s out of the box, not out of the boxers.

      May 9, 2012 at 3:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hyhybt
      Hyhybt

      @JAW: The article does not pick on Catholics. It says nothing about Catholicism at all. OK, so this particular church doesn’t call people in that position by the name “priest.” The distinctions between priest, pastor, minister, reverend, rector, vicar, etc are both too complicated and too inconsistent to think that most people reading would know or care. And, of course, Catholics are far from the only group that calls them priests.

      May 9, 2012 at 4:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jarvisbearcub
      jarvisbearcub

      Forget that. Who’s the jock in the pic? Woof!

      May 9, 2012 at 5:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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