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BATTING OF THE BULGE

WATCH: Is This Ad Selling Mascara Or Giant D-List Celebrity Dick? Answer: Both

When they’re not trying to shove naked men down our throats, advertisers are trying to shove — nevermind, we won’t even finish that thought. But the latest ad from Benefit Cosmetics makes the Zesty guy look tastefully done.

Featuring notorious ex-porn star turned multi-hyphenate entertainer Simon Rex, the Jersey Shore‘s most adorable guido Vinnie Guadagnino — adorably teaching yoga — and some other dudes we wouldn’t throw out of bed, this delicious piece of trash ad isn’t afraid to beat us over the head — and about the face — with phallic imagery all for the sake of selling cosmetics.

We guess it’s nice that men are finally being objectified as much as women and women are finally being portrayed as wanton cocksluts. The sexist shoe, it seems, is on the other foot and that’s what we call progress. Thanks, Sex and the City!

h/t: Jezebel

By:           Les Fabian Brathwaite
On:           Aug 22, 2013
Tagged: , , ,
  • 11 Comments
    • MikeE
      MikeE

      maybe I’m too old and cynical.. I found nothing funny about it. it was just stupid to me. why would guys – straight or otherwise – have mascara hidden in their crotches?

      Aug 22, 2013 at 12:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Caine
      Caine

      @MikeE “Laughter is the best cosmetic.” It’s harmless fun. Nice bulges.

      Aug 22, 2013 at 12:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MikeE
      MikeE

      @Caine: but that’s just it.. it wasn’t funny. so is that saying that the product is of poor quality?

      Aug 22, 2013 at 12:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Polaro
      Polaro

      When was the last time you talked about a commercial. I’d say it worked.

      Aug 22, 2013 at 1:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ShowMeGuy
      ShowMeGuy

      I missed Simon Rex in this and I never…NEVER miss Simon Rex…OhMyCher ! ! ! ! As for the rest of them, didn’t recognize any of them. And the commercial was dumb.

      Aug 22, 2013 at 4:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • JustSayin
      JustSayin

      Oh Puh-LEEZE. These pudgy guys are about as hot as my leftover toast from this morning….

      Aug 22, 2013 at 7:33 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • James
      James

      @MikeE:

      I Agree!!
      This was Stupid, Dumb, NOT Funny and …

      Did I say Stupid, Dumb And NOT Funny?!

      It does Not make ANY sense What-so-ever and the guys are EXTREMELY Swishy!! – I do Not agree that they are “pudgy”; but they are DEFINITELY VERY Feminine!!

      Also: Why would ANY Man…Gay or Straight…have a thing of mascara stuck in their trousers, pants/swim-trunks??!!

      Don’t Make NO Sense!!…No Sense At All!

      This Commercial Was A DEFINITE WASTE of Ten Dollars!!

      Aug 22, 2013 at 10:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DarkZephyr
      DarkZephyr

      @JustSayin: Pudgy? You must like skeletons.

      Aug 22, 2013 at 11:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • stanhope
      stanhope

      oh it was entertaining….can’t imagine it would sell any product….the concept was a one time only sort of chuckle but that’s about it….I think women would be turned off so if they are selling to drag queens, perhaps they might get one or two to try it.

      Aug 23, 2013 at 10:01 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • tdx3fan
      tdx3fan

      The only one even remotely attractive was Simon Rex, and they managed to make him look bad. This was a very crappy advertisement.

      Aug 23, 2013 at 11:50 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • James
      James

      @tdx3fan:

      I Agree!

      Crappy, Crappy, Crappy ad.-

      Btw: Which one was Simon Rex?!
      The last I remember about him, was from his MTV-VJ days, his “infamous” porno video and some sorta “Sit-com” he was in way-back-then, that didn’t last that long.-

      So it’s been SEVERAL years since I’ve seen Simon Rex.-

      Which one was he now?!

      Aug 24, 2013 at 7:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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