Hey, boys! Guess what?!

There's a military man over in Afghanistan thinking about your genitals. And, shockingly, he's not gay. Can you believe it!?

In an effort to wedge his way into the billion dollar undie industry, Naval Officer Nicholas Cassadine will soon wrap up a six-year military stint and plans to launch a new clothing line, Disco Valante, which will begin by making sure your balls are well dressed.

Like so many designers before him, Valante's intent on breaking into the gay market. So, what would compel a straight soldier to focus on gay men's bodies? That's exactly what we were wondering, so we sent him over some questions on his burgeoning business, how his peers view his queer obsession and why we gays should give a damn.

Read the results, after the jump…

Queerty: First and foremost, let's talk about your military work. Why did you sign up?

Disco Valante: I originally joined the military because I wanted to go to one of America's greatest undergraduate institutions. I attended the United States Naval Academy in Annapolis, MD. I actually graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering in 2002. I had a romantic view of the honor of public service and contributing to the greater good of society.

QT: What exactly do you do within the military?

DV: I'm a Surface Warfare Officer. I am an operational subject matter expert in the employment of naval ships and tactical weapons employment. However, I'm currently in the Middle East conducting vulnerability assessments for US installations in places like Afghanistan. I'm here until the end of July.

QT: The military isn't the most gay friendly institution in the world. What's the reaction been to your underwear mission?

DV: I do get a bit of funny looks and jokes about my clothing label being predominately underwear. Can you imagine a military officer constantly looking at underwear graphics on his computer desktop and having his desk cluttered with underwear samples from manufacturers. I do generate loads of attention, not always positive.

QT: What made you want to design clothing? And, on a related note, why market to gay men? Why are gay men a more desirable market than straights?

DV: I am leaving the Navy the beginning of next year. While it has been a great honor to be trusted by the people and the government to lead its sailors, I want to do something I truly enjoy. I've always considered myself a very well dressed guy and starting a clothing label seemed fun – and it is. I have openly gay and closeted friends and they generally talk about and buy underwear more frequently than my straight friends. Therefore, it only makes sense to cater to the people that are more likely to buy my product. Additionally, because I am such a new company with a very limited budget, it allows me to focus every dollar to its maximum potential when I focus on such a narrow demographic. Regardless of my focusing on the gay community, I truly believe my label will appeal to all fashionable men.

QT: How does this gay marketing differ, in your view? That is, how do you distinguish your current campaign from other marketing plots?

DV: I think underwear campaigns are generally homoerotic. If you get two guys standing next to each other in just their underwear, you can assume or imagine that maybe their more than just friends. My campaign is going to be really unique. I cannot possibly compete with the big underwear companies in terms of advertising spending power but I can stand toe to toe with them in creativity.

QT: What are you hoping to achieve with your line? And, most importantly, what makes your line so damn special?

DV: I want to aggressively compete with the big underwear companies. I want to show the underwear buying public what they have been missing. I want them to wonder what they did without me for all these years. I like buying new underwear, but I find that underwear in the US is rather boring. Plain colors and lack luster graphic designs don't make me want to purchase items from the more established brands known to US costumers. I'm working with a European designer and our work is exceptional. And I'm not just saying that because I'm the owner of the label. It's just so different from what I see at the store. My designs are fierce, as my gay friends would say.
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The Disco Valante line hasn't yet launched, but you can check out all the happenings on DV's blog, which reads like an ode to metrosexuality.