Mo Rocca Woke Up Fatter Than He Wants to Be

Know who we hate? Naturally thin gays! You know the type: Homos who can gorge on pumpkin pie, chocolate creme cupcakes, or a diet consisting only of McDonald’s and Ben & Jerry’s and not gain a pound. Yes, this is about vanity. And no, this is nothing against our bear brothers who like a little heft on their partners. But for those of us who prefer trim, fit gays, nothing irks us more than those who don’t even have to go to the gym.

Mo Rocca, the comedi-gay last seen cruising the beach for muscle daddies, used to be one of those Naturally Thins. But now — with a 38-inch waist and at just over 6 feet and weighing 185 pounds — a brave Mo tells America’s television audiences that he’s no longer got the metabolism of a five-year-old boy. And that his body mass index — or BMI, which is the medical community’s numerical way of calling you a fatty — is a 25, or the highest end of the “not-yet-overweight” range.

So what to do? Uh, eat healthier, that’s what. While unwilling to give up his cheese diet, Mo went shopping for more greens. Which is an excellent idea, if you a) know how to actually cook some of these healthful foods; and b) don’t suffer from the “eat everything in the fridge if it’s there” syndrome.