Losing a child — let alone two — is a horror that no parent should have to face, but in the case of one homophobic mother, the damage is self-inflicted.
A recent Reddit thread caught our attention for its tell-tale signs of the unfortunate reality many LGBTQ kids face growing up.
But this one has a slight twist (not to mention happy ending).
How about we take this to the next level?
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My mother is a very complicated woman. She can be really sweet, but fucking batshit crazy at other times. I moved out a long time ago, I’m 27 and I left the house as soon as I turned 18 (also right after coming out). She didn’t disown me, but made a lot of homophobic remarks about me “joining the fags” and denying her grandchildren.
…
Today, I received a very angry phone call from my mom. I have a younger brother who’s 14 who lives with my parents and my sister. My mom snooped through his phone and apparently found a few texts to his friend confessing that he was gay. Suddenly, I’m responsible for engulfing him with my rainbow wrath when I barely see him.
…
I have considered trying to get him to move here with me but I don’t think he’d want to leave everything behind. My family would also have a fit.
Considering Jason only lasted two months living with his mother after he came out at 18, he was more than concerned with what lay ahead for his 14-year-old brother, who was just starting high school and had at minimum four years left under her roof.
Supportive advice came flooding in, but shortly after posting, Jason knew what he had to do.
In an updated post, he shares the dramatic turn of events that came next:
I read all the comments, each and every single one. However, about an hour after writing the post, I grew impatient and just drove to my parents’ house…My mom lost her shit when I came, said that I was going to make it worse. She’s kept a little quiet though (probably because she realized she can’t do much at this point).
My younger brother is fine…He believes he’s 90% gay. He doesn’t notice girls, but notices guys. He said he’s felt deeper connections with them and is crushing on his friend (basically all the things we all had to deal with when we were young anyway).
…
I told him about moving in with me and switching schools. I tried to make him understand that he needs to be in a healthier environment and does not need to be taking any shit from my mom. He was very hesitant about leaving his friends, but he’s agreed to move in with me in the next month or so. And for those of you asking if I can afford it, I very much can.
Today morning I told my mother he was going to stay with me. She wanted to argue, but held back. She knows she crossed my patience limit a long time ago, so it was relatively easy. I’m getting forms from the lawyer tomorrow about making me his legal guardian. My mom agreed to sign it saying “it’s probably better for me that you two will be gone anyway” and my dad gives negative two shits about anything so that’ll be easy.
I guess I can say this is off to a more positive start. I can get to know him better now and at the same time protect him from emotional abuse. He’s a very soft spoken kid, a little too passive and lets people run over him. I was the opposite- and by that I mean very stubborn, rebellious and maybe a bit of an asshole…but it’s what helped me move out I guess. Now I’ll be able to toughen him up a little and build some more confidence in him.
Thanks for all the advice, it was very much appreciated. I will not call child services anymore, since he’s not going back anyway. I’d rather she suffers in silence as she realizes she drove her sons away. She’ll never admit it but I’m sure it’s there.
There’s being a good brother, and then there’s this.
Best of luck to them both!
Mike Benevenstanciano
Angie Guernsey
People are so stupid
Katie Fingerson
What a great older brother!
Vegas Tearoom
Wouldn’t it be great if every gay child that wasn’t wanted had a gay relative to move in with? Love this.
ethan_hines
Good for him. Taking care of his younger brother and it seems he’s well off too which is another good thing. I wish both of them non-homophobic lives.
Luis H. Lopez
Stupid !
Cole Cross
Kenneth Myrnes
If you don’t want gay children… don’t have any… there is no guarantee
Cole Cross
The Mom seems to be a bit of a
SteveDenver
I like the older brother’s description of himself, THAT is self-awareness. I’m also glad he recognized his brother isn’t like him, but is possibly more vulnerable. Best of luck to both of them.
Captain proton
i’m pretty sure I’ve come across one or two nifty.org stories that started out like this.
Gary Hecklinger
Sounds like my Mother 🙁
Andrew Button
twinkie1cat
Just make sure you do all the legal paperwork and guardianship papers. Make sure your brother understands that you are in charge, that he has to stay in school and finish, and no drugs, alcohol or illicit sex. 14 year olds can be difficult, but this sounds like a better option than living with your mother.
Stephen Ryan
Ryan Vincent…. It’s all your fault ;-/
pscheck2
I admire his decisiveness in dealing with this tragic problem. It amuses me in what his little bro said in reference to his orientation: 90% gay! (As in 50 shades of gay?). It may well be he is confused about his sexuality and might be in limbo as to what he prefers! If this is the case it might be smart for older bro to be cautionary in dealing with his sexuality. Wouldn’t it be ironic, if, by age 18 he decides he likes girls? Well, the mother will be ecstatic and prove a point that older bro did not contaminate him?
Brian Tankersley
So awesome what a terrific bro
Bisexual-Transwoman
@pscheck2: Yes and you’re a biphobic bigoted gay man which are a dime a dozen.
Bisexual-Transwoman
That’s creepy and 1nce$ty that he would “adopt” his younger brother.
Captain Obvious
I’m not gonna hero worship the brother for doing the right thing, instead I’m more saddened that another family gets torn apart by stupidity.
Having at least 3 kids and driving two off because they didn’t turn out how you wanted is utterly disgusting.
Brian
You shouldn’t force the gay identity onto anybody. You have no right to force an identity onto another person.
NoCagada
@Bisexual-Transwoman: No. What is creepy is that you thought of that tripe.
Bill Norquay
I was born this way I don’t judge anyone or preach my beliefs some people r just dumb
esemple
She is not a mother. She is only a breeder.
Billy Budd
The mother is a monster. The older brother is awesome.
auntsharon
@Bisexual-Transwoman: It’s not adoption, but legal guardianship.
jayshay
Motherly Love??
Tracy Pope
That woman’s mother skills are lacking.
@NoCagada:Older siblings adopt their younger siblings more often than you think. It’s not ince$t-y but it is a way to outmaneuver well meaning but clueless government agencies (child welfare services). This man is filing for legal guardianship which is not adoption and kudos to him for making sure his brother grows up in an environment where he can excel at being his best self no matter his sexuality.
My mother blamed me for my brother coming out gay when he was 28. I just laughed. Our formative years were spent apart and our adult lives are worlds apart yet my brother, who is now legally married to his pretty damned good husband (love you James!) with two wonderful children, is gay because I made him that way.
Tracy Pope
Apologies to NoCagada. That was meant for Bisexual-Transwoman. I’m not wearing my glasses.
Steve Murphy
LGBT Community this is what needs our attention right now. These kids need our help, they need safe spaces to become adults, and find success with the help of our community.
seaguy
It seems like the older brother is nothing like either parent, thankfully. The younger brother might be a bit like dad who sounds like he just follows the wife’s lead and is passive. Older brother will change that and hopefully Karma will get mom real good for being such an awful bitch of a mother.
stanhope
Your home should be your one safe harbor in this world. This mother scares me in that she is creating an environment ripe for a child suicide. Kudos to the older brother for taking decisive action. It is exactly the right thing to do and may have averted disaster.
Arcamenel
This is why I always find it insulting when people will wish that an anti-gay bigots end up being gay. Why would you wish that on someone especially when even being in a supportive home can still be hard when dealing with your sexuality.
Arcamenel
anti-gay bigots children*
Leonard Woodrow
Stupid woman! She was never cut out to be a mother.
bicurious
I assume it is the younger brother in the photo. Whichever one it is he has an absolutely gorgeous profile. If it is the younger brother he could have a career as a male model. If he is emancipated from his mother he might need the income.
darkanser
@Bisexual-Transwoman: Tell me you’re joking!! You’re joking, right? I think you’re being a bit too touchy. I don’t think PSCheck2 meant anything bigoted or hostile by his remarks. What does biphobic even mean? Hating bisexuals? Relax already!!
Bauhaus
@Bisexual-Transwoman:
You are creepy and twisted to imagine such a thing about them.
GayEGO
This is why we need to educate children at a young age about genders and gender relations. This woman is totally a whacko and so misinformed about humanity and it is probably due to her religious upbringing. She is brainwashed by her religion and is unable to learn and evolve with civilization.
Arnold Stollar
Clever,and legal
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
That kid’s “Mother” definatley qualifies for the worst Mother of the year award………
But he hit the jackpot in the Bestest Brother catagory……………
mezzacanadese
So this mother would rather lose 2 sons than give up her homophobic ways. How sad for everybody concerned. Somebody should tell her it’s in the genes, and not something someone chooses. Why would anyone CHOOSE to join a group that is so marginalized and reviled by certain segments of society? I am so happy that Jason’s brother is going to live with him. He’ll have a much happier life.
Captain Obvious
@Brian: Started to reply, then realized you’re a troll. Carry on.
Bisexual-Transwoman
@darkanser: Nope not joking. Biphobia is the bisexual version of homophobia.
daggett588525
@Vegas Tearoom: Even though my adopted family are GREAT with me being gay and out, just in case one of my nieces or nephews have to go through this, I’ll be there for them!
Kevin B
Sad that people can be so ignorant about being gay. I feel for ya. I went through it but didn’t come out. My parents knew but not much was said yay or nay. For certain there was no support from my family. Good luck to you and your little brother. He will be much better off getting to live life the way he feels like he needs to live it and not have to put up with the homophobia. You are a Saint!
Joshua
@Bisexual-Transwoman: I’m genuinely curious what was bigoted about that post?
Joshua
@Captain Obvious: yea I wasted too much time replying to him elsewhere
woodroad34
The mother is an uneducated sociopath. Studies have indicated it’s the MOTHER that passes along the propensity to be gay. Hey, mom, look in a mirror become as self-aware as your son.
woodroad34
Oh, and I have to wonder….what will become of the sister? Shouldn’t she be protected as well?
stranded
@Joshua: Please, don’t feed the trolls, it’s the only way they’ll die. You already know whatever reason bisexual=transwoman gives for saying pscheck2 is biphobic was going to stretch beyond comprehensibility.
LibraOracle
Humans claim themselves to be the most intelligent species in the universe when the amount of ignorance is beyond pathetic,giving me reason to be so cynical.
NJjoe
At 14 years old, you pretty much know who you are and questioning 90% gay is not a big deal. This woman is going to lose both of her sons if she doesn’t get it together. They didn’t commit murder. I think it’s fantastic that his older brother is taken him under his wing and and in his home. You’re supposed to love your children no matter what. I sometimes think the entire world is bat shit crazy. I have friends of mine who are twins and both gay. This woman is risking a relationship with her sons and a healthy one at that. Man, we’ve all gone through our own shit, haven’t we? Kudos to the eldest man for taken in his brother. He has the makings of becoming a good father someday should he decide to have kids. Someone must tell this woman that gay people do have children. It is 2015, not 1952.
Bisexual-Transwoman
@Joshua: If you have to ask, then you clearly do not understand biphobia or bisexuality as pscheck2 is a bigot and biphobic.
pscheck2
@Bisexual-Transwoman: Well, Bisexual-transwoman, you read into things that just are not there! All I said that his bro is somewhat ambiguous about his sexuality (90%) at the young age of 14. It’s possible a hot young chick will come along, seduce him, and then make him a ‘man!'(BTW: just viewed a movie (French) with this very theme–with the hunk being totally gay to being bi! (one for your side) He tells the seductress that he never experienced sex with a girl and then tells her he liked it! So, getting back to this bro, he may have to sort out his true feelings by having experienced sex with both sexes and find if the attraction is satisfying with one or with both- ergo:bi! Therefore, it behooves gay bro to explore these avenues of sexual identity before he starts fixing him up or introducing him to the gay lifestyle.