We know you theater fags are mourning Rent's incomprehensible closing, but we've got some news that may make your day. Rosie O'Donnell will pen and perform an autobiographical solo show! Hoo-blah!

From our friend Mollygood, who heard it from wacky Cindy Adams:

Rosie O’Donnell is taking her harrowing personal trials and turning them into a play. The as-yet-untitled project is a one-woman show and is already in rehearsals somewhere outside of New York.

Cindy Adams, the New York Post’s craziest doting mother, says, “It’s based on her life story - her first one. She’s lived many lives.”

Certainly that sentence is more complicated than the play will be. Reserve your ticket now! (Yes, singular, you have to see something like this alone.)

Wait - O'Donnell's writing an autobiographical play? Didn't she just write a memoir? Someone's got a crush…