It could be time to trade that trashy torso pic in for a tuxedo photo in your Jack’d profile, because you may be chatting with your future husband.
A newly released study of 18-30 year old Jack’d users in the U.K. had some surprising findings about the attitude toward marriage in the younger and older sections of the group:
- 62% of gay men aged 18-25 would be open to being married to another man.
- 45% of gay men 26 and older saw the real potential for marriage in their future.
- 68% of respondents claim that they would be open to marrying a guy they met on Jack’d.
- 60% of respondents wanted to wait until their 30’s to get married.
We’re definitely a bit depressed at 26 and above representing the “older” portion of the group, but happy that the gays see these apps as more than an opportunity to get Jack’d (or more) by a random guy. If that wasn’t enough to warm your ice cold heart, check out this anonymous quote from the survey:
“Marriage is marriage. It’s about two people who love each other promising to live and be faithful and loyal to each other for the rest of their lives. It’s about wanting that person in your life everyday, in your bed every night and in your heart forever.”
Awwwwww, the feels.
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If someone who writes that is on the other side of a Jack’d profile, there just may be hope for the app enthusiasts yet.
vive
I think it’s as expected. People are more impressionable and fall in love easier when they are younger. Not just romantic relationships. At 25, you can be best friends with anyone you meet on the train because everything is new to you. At 40 you just don’t have the patience for 99% of the population anymore.
Ruhlmann
Jesus Christ, look at the suburbs. Who the hell wants that?
Cobalt Blue
@Ruhlmann: And who in the hell – for example – wants to be a cum dump passed around through all gay ghetto in all fucking circuit parties for the rest of their lives?…Who’s not afraid to be old and lone? There’ll be a time when it becames ridiculous to speak about fuckbuds and boyfriends with a certain age…We all have to make choises: Is ‘ Live in the suburbs ‘ worst than be an old and lone caftan queen?
BJ McFrisky
More proof that wisdom comes with age.
BrandoPolo
From the mouths of babes, comes the truth.
Ridpathos
What I’m going to say is probably not going be popular, but I think this really does reflect a development in the gay community. It did seem largely that in the past most gays were more about copious amounts of sex and living a free life, and this may be due in part to not being accepted by the majority of society and not having marriage an option open to them.
All of the younger gays I see are more interested in getting into serious committed relationships rather than just free sexual intercourse with everyone.
DK
@Ridpathos: I don’t know why people think people in monogamous relationships can’t or don’t have copious amounts of sex. Just because not everyone needs to have copious amounts of sex with a different person every day/week/month/year does not mean they aren’t having great sex and a lot of it. My boyfriend and I can testify to that, and frankly based on what I hear from our poly-amorous friends, our sex life is more fulfilling than most of theirs.
Geoff B
@DK: Well told. I think this resounds with younger people because they weren’t adults when SSM was a totally foreign concept. When I came out, I just assumed I’d never be able to have a legal marriege. These younger kids thankfully don’t live in that world.
vive
@Ridpathos, “All of the younger gays I see are more interested in getting into serious committed relationships…”
You must not have seen Grindr lately. Around here Grindr almost exclusively consists of 20-somethings, all wanting copious amounts of sex with strangers. Not that I see anything wrong with that.
Fang
@Cobalt Blue: You do know that there is a middle ground, right? The choice isn’t between being a lifelong lonely cumhole and being in a monogamous marriage. That’s just silly. I think Ruhlmann’s point is that gay people resolving to marriage is giving up a certain sense of individuality and resistance gay people have had to cultivate during times we weren’t able to assimilate. And I think he’s right! Marriage and all its baggage will take away some of the creativity in our relationship choices, despite its legal benefits. Marriage has definitely whitewashed the gay community in a lot of ways, already! For me? I’ll take the legal benefits of marriage AND conduct my relationship however the hell I want, thankyouverymuch.
Cobalt Blue
@Fang: I think the ‘ gay-way-of-life ‘ is damaging (The whole ‘model’ is destructive in itself). Gay marriage is a new inclusive option…We do need good role models.
TVC 15
@DK: Ridpathos didn’t mean that monogamous people don’t have “copious amounts of sex” with each other. I think you missed Ridpathos’s point which is in the last sentence of his comment:
All of the younger gays I see are more interested in getting into serious committed relationships rather than just free sexual intercourse with everyone.
He/she even qualified it with “younger gays I see…” which means NOT everyone, but the ones he/she met.
mcflyer54
37 years in a monogamous relationship. Would we get married today if we could? Probably not. For older couples it is far more complicated than it might appear to someone younger, more idealistic and just starting out. We’ve built our lives together without the availability of marriage (a possibility that wasn’t even an idea when we meet in the 1970s). We’ve done everything legally possible to ensure and protect or future together but, for the same reason many older straight couples choose not to marry, the risks of a financial catastrophe are far. greater if we were to legally merge our assets via marriage. I’m 100% supportive of marriage equality but I am also 100% supportive of the decisions made by both straight and gay couples when it comes to marriage. Had to option of marriage been available when I was young I would have probably jumped at the chance but when you are young you see the world in a much different way (not better and not worse, just different). Surveys are nice, and sometimes important, but the rarely prevent clear cut reasons for the results they present.