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HOLY CRAP

WATCH: Homophobic Jesus Shills For Traditional Marriage

 

All you people that say if Jesus was alive today He’d be down with the gays? We’ll you’re wrong!

Clearly the Son of God would align Himself with traditional-marriage groups like Focus on the Family and NOM—and maybe score 30 pieces of silver while doing it.

 

Via HomophobicJesus.com

By:           Dan Avery
On:           Oct 2, 2011
Tagged: , , , , ,
  • 21 Comments
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      From what I understand, Jesus never said anything about homosexuality. But he did speak out against adultery, and divorce. Funny the hets always skip that part of the Bible.

      Oct 2, 2011 at 10:07 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • tookietookie
      tookietookie

      Very funny! :)

      Oct 2, 2011 at 10:45 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ray lenardo
      ray lenardo

      Jesus is kind of hot.

      Oct 2, 2011 at 10:50 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • disgusted american
      disgusted american

      well 1st off im 51, a recovered catholic and now a athiest and this religion crap means literally crap to me…I want to be treated equally under the Constitution…..you can STUFF your buyBULLS

      Oct 2, 2011 at 11:32 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Wendy Billings
      Wendy Billings

      LOL!!!!!

      Oct 2, 2011 at 11:44 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • timncguy
      timncguy

      why is Jesus a drag queen?

      Oct 2, 2011 at 1:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Trey
      Trey

      I’m pretty sure if Jesus was here today he wouldn’t be homophoebic…just sayin.

      Oct 2, 2011 at 1:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Little Kiwi
      Little Kiwi

      if Jesus were here today He’d be hated by all the people who claim to have the most faith in Him.

      He’d be Pro-Equality, Anti-Gun, pro-universal healthcare, and would be disgusted at the hoarding of money by this country’s conservatives and the way the poor are treated.

      and that’s according to scriptures.

      werk.

      Oct 2, 2011 at 1:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Robbie K.
      Robbie K.

      What’s a Jesus

      Oct 2, 2011 at 2:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Michael
      Michael

      If you read the Gospel of John it’s quite evident if Jesus was in a relationship with someone it would have been John. When I read that Gospel it could not have said “JESUS WAS GAY” any louder. Either John being “the Disciple Whom Jesus Loved” means Jesus was in love with him or it meant “the Disciple Whom Jesus Loved but only like He loved everyone else but we’re still going to say it over and over for some reason”. It’s interesting to note John was the only disciple sparred dying as a martyr even though he was boiled in oil (w/out a scratch).

      Oct 2, 2011 at 3:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Riker
      Riker

      @Michael: the Disciple whom Jesus Loved is not at all clear. While John is a candidate, Judas and Mary Magdelene are also possibilities. the Secret Gospel of Mark also seems to indicate that Jesus and Lazarus had an intimate relationship, so he’s another candidate. Consider the following passage:

      And they come into Bethany. And a certain woman whose brother had died was there. And, coming, she prostrated herself before Jesus and says to him, ‘Son of David, have mercy on me.’ But the disciples rebuked her. And Jesus, being angered, went off with her into the garden where the tomb was, and straightway a great cry was heard from the tomb. And going near Jesus rolled away the stone from the door of the tomb. And straightway, going in where the youth was, he stretched forth his hand and raised him, seizing his hand. But the youth, looking upon him, loved him and began to beseech him that he might be with him. And going out of the tomb they came into the house of the youth, for he was rich. And after six days Jesus told him what to do and in the evening the youth comes to him, wearing a linen cloth over his naked body. And he remained with him that night, for Jesus taught him the mystery of the kingdom of God. And thence, arising, he returned to the other side of the Jordan.

      Oct 2, 2011 at 4:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hephaestion
      Hephaestion

      Jesus gained a bit of weight!
      Funny, Jesus never practiced the institution of marriage.

      Oct 2, 2011 at 6:21 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • j
      j

      @Riker: Only the bible could take a tale of resurrection and illicit sex and make it that dull.

      Oct 2, 2011 at 6:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ogre Magi
      Ogre Magi

      @Trey: He probably would be homophobic, it was part of Jewish culture.

      Oct 2, 2011 at 6:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Tommy Shepherd
      Tommy Shepherd

      Was that director supposed to be Spanish? I could tell he was a European stereotype, but wasn’t sure which one because there weren’t enough obvious clues.

      Oct 3, 2011 at 4:00 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Riker
      Riker

      @j: Its not actually part of the canonical Bible. 20-ish gospels are known to exist, of which only four (Matthew Mark Luke and John) are considered official.

      My own personal faith discards the Pauline epistles, and adds Secret Mark (for the homosexuality), Thomas (said to be the actual words of Christ written while he was alive,unlike the canonical gospels, and suppressed by the Church for hundreds of years) Mary (for contradicting the Church’s position on female clergy; Jesus essentially appeared to Mary Magdelene alone and taught her about the nature of the soul, preferring her to his male disciples), Judas (for an entirely different and radical interpretation of the path to salvation) and the Gospel of Truth (for promoting the pursuit of knowledge as a means of salvation right up there with faith and good works).

      These five texts are the most popular of the Gnostic Gospels. Though admittedly I have no more evidence for their veracity than mainstream Christians do for their books, if I want to believe that Jesus was a bisexual who believed in gender equality, tolerance and knowledge above blind faith then i’m just as entitled to do so as others who never question their belief.

      Oct 3, 2011 at 4:56 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Robert in NYC
      Robert in NYC

      The secret gospel of Mark I believe was one of the original manuscripts found and seized by the Roman cult, along with other manuscripts which were intended for inclusion in the bible. To this day, the Vatican forbids any biblical scholars from accessing them. We all know why.

      Oct 3, 2011 at 8:41 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Slojo Coma
      Slojo Coma

      I think the director is supposed to be Portuguese.

      Oct 3, 2011 at 9:30 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Riker
      Riker

      @Robert in NYC: The leading theory is that the text of Secret Mark was originally part of the Gospel of Mark, but was edited out in the second century due to is obviously being problematic. The extra verses were probably intended to disappear from history entirely, but some were preserved by some brave soul who was more Christian than those who call it heresy. Same with the Gospel of Thomas. The Church calls it blasphemy, but it is them who are the real blasphemers for corrupting and manipulating the Bible into an instrument of politics. Which is why I was excommunicated latæ sententiæ as a heretic.

      Oct 3, 2011 at 10:59 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Robert in NYC
      Robert in NYC

      Hmmm, now let me see. Why is it these right wing religious nutbags in the GOP ignore the other bits in the bible about biblical marriage?

      http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zLuR33iOxwc/TonE_LWFk5I/AAAAAAABJoM/WWhEjkeiKrM/s1600/Marriage-According-to-the-Bible-.png

      Oct 3, 2011 at 1:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Little Kiwi
      Little Kiwi

      @Robert in NYC – for the exact same reason that the first thing slave-owners would do is have their slaves build a church.

      that way they could still try to convince themselves that they’re “Christians”

      Oct 3, 2011 at 1:21 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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