If you thought Trojan Magnums were the ultimate prophylactics status symbol, then you’ve never encountered Sir Richard’s Condom Co. The condom maker’s pitch? Just like choosing between some Kmart stroller and the $880 Bugaboo Cameleon, you can use what commoners choose, or you can step it up to keep up with the Jonses. And for safety!, in this case. Attached to each package of condoms is sticker shock — as in what it will cost you if you don’t use a condom, end up getting a girl pregnant, and need to spend more than $1,100 a year on diapers. It appears the condoms aren’t yet aimed at the gays, because I can’t find a package — or a billboard, or an online ad — showing the cost of an annual AIDS cocktail. Or a rectal exam. If you’re the type of sexually active person who prefers overpriced wang gear, you’ll need to walk into a Fred Segal, Viceroy hotels, or Paul Smith shop to score these. And yes, they make extra large ones.