BREAKING NEWS: Madonna Drops Acting Career

MadonnaBrace yourselves: Madonna has publicly vowed to stop acting, for the sake of the films.

“What film can survive people saying it’s going to be a bomb from the second it’s announced?…to do that over and over again, with the possibility that I am going to get the (bleep) kicked out of me–and they really enjoy doing it–I mean, it doesn’t make sense.”

We are scraping ourselves off the floor, we are so flummoxed by this heartbreaking news. We plead with The Patron Saint Of Queerty to please reconsider her heartbreaking decision. Although we would suggest making a movie that is, perhaps, not sucky.

Madonna Quits Acting [h’]