BURNING QUESTIONS

Gay Black Fathers Going Viral Haven’t Told The Kids They’re Gay. What’s Up With That?

kordale-and-kalebKordale and Kaleb, the gay black fathers who went viral after photos of their family on Instagram were blasted by critics, have been enjoying some time in the spotlight this week.

Hailed as the fathers of “the new modern family”, these men have unabashedly shared their life with the world and opened up to the press.

In a statement to HuffPo, the couple says their “main objective as parents is to provide love, educate, support, encourage, and love some more!” They also reveal that they co-parent with their children’s mother:

In regard to the negative, people fail to realize that we are people too with kids who love us. We do what is necessary for them to succeed in this ever-changing world but it’s sad that we’re discriminated against because of our sexuality and/or what we do behind closed doors — which is no one’s business. In the same breath, we take all of what’s been said in stride. The picture was put out on social media for an opinion so we can’t be mad when people give just that: an opinion. People tend to think that gay people cannot raise their children to be heterosexuals. Instead, they have derogatory thoughts of us “tainting” our children or “confusing them” with what society sees deems as wrong an unmanly because we’re gay. But this is all comical because people forget where a lot of gays come from: a heterosexual household.

However, a lesser-shared interview the couple did with BlogTalkRadio last year reveals that the men have two separate bedrooms and don’t want their children to know they are in a gay relationship. Kaleb says he doesn’t want to influence the children to believe they must also “grow up to be gay”:

We live in a five-bedroom home. We have three beautiful children. There’s a room for Kordale. There’s a room for Kaleb and there’s a room for each individual child. The oldest child says, “Kaleb, you’re my daddy’s best, best, best best friend in the whole wide world.” I say that meaning the kids do not know that we are in a relationship. We don’t portray that image in front of the kids because we don’t want to put them in the mindset of being gay and that’s what you’re going to be because we are gay.

Architects of the “new modern family,” maybe. A progressive modern family? Maybe not.

It’s one thing for a same-sex couple co-parent with the biological mother/father of their children and teach them acceptance regardless of sexual orientation, but it’s an entirely different thing to do this while the children believe their same-sex parents are just “best friends” living in the same house.

Do you agree with raising children to assume the relationship between their same-sex parents is strictly platonic? Tell us below!

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22 Comments

  • sportyguy1983

    It is no one’s business how they decide to raise their children nor is it anyone’s business how they decide to depict their relationship to their kids. Write about something more important.

  • Mikey

    Yeah because hiding your relationship and not showing any affection in front of your kids is REALLY going to help them. *eye roll*

  • Pistolo

    Great. This will give so many conservatives ammunition, they’ll say “See!? Even a gay couple will hide their relationship because deep down they know it’s harmful to their children”. What a letdown. A bizarre one at that.

    Honesty is the best policy. Not total disclosure or dependence, just simple honesty. Tell your kids what’s up because those girls are going to be old enough to figure it all out soon and they might not love the idea of their fathers withholding the fact that they’ll be perceived as “different” from most families.

  • masc4masc

    I understand their concern, but I do think they could both simply explain to their kids that they don’t have to be gay just because daddy is. Assuming the mother is heterosexual, her lifestyle could probably help to balance out all the “gayness” the kids might see. Gay parents will have some extra things to think about. I still commend them for at least trying, and whatever they’re doing seems to be working because the kiddies do look quite happy.

  • CCTR

    In a statement to HuffPo, the couple says their “main objective as parents is to provide love, educate, support, encourage, and love some more!

  • Jonty Coppersmith

    Living a lie in your own home is not a good thing. What are they afraid of? Are they planning to stay in the closet until the kids are grown?

  • balehead

    Having sex with the Fame Monster gets you what again???

  • MMDD

    @sportyguy1983: Flaunting it on the Internet automatically does make it other people’s business. Besides, I have a feeling this is all a hoax. Don’t believe everything you read.

  • blkyoungkid

    THAT STORY WAS FROM LAST YEAR.
    They already said they told the little girls their in a relationship before they made their instrgram and started taking pics with the kids.

    The little boy is only 3, he won’t understand yet

    what kind of new website are you people running here. outdated information

  • Christopher.

    Any particular reason Queerty has to keep referring to them as the “Gay Black Fathers”? If they were white, or just about any other race, the headline would read “Gay Dads Going Viral. Haven’t Told The Kids They’re Gay. What’s Up With That?” Do we really need a headline to describe for us what is self explanatory from the picture?

  • Kangol

    @Christopher.:
    [Applause]

    I also hope someone does politely let them know that being gay does not influence children’s sexual orientation.

    In fact, showing their children that they are in a loving, healthy relationship may help make them more empathetic, whatever their sexual orientation.

    I wish them and their family the very best.

  • tada-no

    These down-low guys sound painfully ignorant. I can’t believe they adopted Putin’s psychology that gay parents will “turn” kids gay. Besides, by living a dishonest life around their kids, they are teaching that being gay is inherently a bad thing that one must guard kids from.

    And what positive lesson do you teach kids with 1 baby mama and her 2 “friends” in the same house raising a family? That to me says you’re prepping kids for polygamy or the Maury Show some day. lol

  • AnitaMann

    These guys have issues.

  • DarSco

    @sportyguy1983: If it’s no ones business what you do them why share it with the world?

    If i don’t want people to know about my life i keep it to myself.

  • Christopher.

    @tada-no
    I guess I’ll have to give you the definition of “down-low”. Men who are otherwise married or in a relationship with a women and having sex with men on the side without the knowledge of their spouse/girlfriend. I see no evidence from any of the reports about these men and their family that in anyway suggest that these men were involved with other women. Disapproval of their parenting techniques is one thing, but let us refrain from making accusations about these men that the facts simply don’t support.

  • jasentylar

    Stupid thing to do…worst thing is to lie to your children. Therapy 101.

  • concettamiller

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  • EGO

    Hello–oh! Most of us gays were raised as heterosexual and we had to figure out for ourselves that we were gay. It is not a choice and gay parents above all should realize that as their children are growing up.

    All parents should raised their children with good values i.e. go to school, work, pay taxes, and treat others with respect. Sexual orientation is not a value.

  • denvermtnbiker

    Hiding the truth from kids doesn’t do them any favors. Being out and proud with my kids has done them a great service. Gives them the license to explore the world on their own terms. I’m glad these guys are out to the world, and showing how they take on parental responsibilities, but part of that responsibility is teaching kids to have integrity with your own examples.

  • rnorman9

    Weird stuff. These gentlemen are certainly not heroes. My husband and I have been married for 10 years and have an 8 year old son. The affection we show for each other in front of him is typical stuff that any married couple should show and we think this has great value. He is fascinated (like most kids are) with stories of how his parents met and who was at our wedding and seeing the pictures. We don’t think for a second that witnessing our relationship will impact him or pressure him to be anything other an person with a healthy view of what a marriage can be.

  • bgmindc

    @Christopher.: I was thinking the same thing. I first read this story on News One and their headline just reads “These Gay Dads And Their Children May Be America’s Most Adorable Family”. Nonetheless, I’m happy to see a couple like this finally get some run time in both gay and straight media. Much luck & love to them and their kids.

Comments are closed.