(There's Always More To The Story)

Happy Endings: The Day Mark Foley Dragged His Feet

• Final leg of federal investigation into Mark Foley‘s illicit instant messages is slow going. It turns out neither Mark Foley nor the US House of Representatives will turn over the computers. (The FBI’s unconstitutional snafu with Rep. William Jefferson reminded people of a 200-year old precedent. That means Foley can now self-censor “legislative business” from federally requested desktops. Convenient.)

• No illicit info in Foley emails. (An independent House review claims they took a look at Foley’s emails through September 29th, the day he resigned. No nudie shots, allegedly.)

• Gay activists join forces to save Iranian lesbian in Britain from being deported. (If campaign doesn’t work and this girl goes back to Iran, she’s totally and utterly fucked.)

Lindsay Lohan’s felony charges blow over. (Los Angeles apparently law favors coke possessing addicts.)

Andy Rooney on baseball today: “I know all about Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig, but today’s baseball stars are all guys named Rodriguez to me.” (Andy Rooney can’t tell the difference between non-white people.)

• Bi Club not down with some trans women. (Also, “vegans offended by animal smell” need not apply.)

Karl Rove did not resign because of Jeff Gannon’s forthcoming book. (Anyone think Jeff Gannon planted that story?)

Music Videos make New Now Next’s Ambrose happy. (We’ve known Ambrose since the beginning of time. She’s fucking rad. And so are her music video selection.)

Hunks have a “Good Time”. (Actually hunkiness relative to your personal taste.)