Captain of the USS Enterprise
Jean Luc Picard Owen Honors tried to lift the morale of over 6,000 sailors aboard his nuclear-powered aircraft carrier by showing them self-produced “movie night” videos with “anti-gay slurs, simulated masturbation, the simulated eating of human excrement, a discussion of profanity and sexually-themed shower scenes.” Honors had been suspended while the Navy investigated.
They have now decided that while Honors committed misconduct with his anal probe/banana hammock videos, he should not be discharged. Military commenters have said that this basically ensures that the 30-year service member won’t get promoted past his current rank. But if Honors decides to quit, he has a promising career in producing homemade, homoerotic military softcore.