This past weekend’s Value Voters Summit was a must-attend event for America’s bigot class, and any comedian who traffics in impersonating right-wingers. At the same place where Maggie Gallagher and Carrie Prejean pulled the victim card, attendees also heard from Michael Schwartz (bigot Sen. Tom Coburn’s chief of staff), who has this interesting theory on pornography: It’s all gay! Yes, even straight porn is gay porn — and not just the straight porn that has seven guys jabbing at one girl’s orifices! Allow us (er, him) to explain.
Schwartz, who once claimed gays were using AIDS to push their Gay Agenda (so true!), joined a panel on “The New Masculinity,” which was not a conversation about butch v. femme, but rather had good fathers and husbands can make positive influences. He had some great insights, like this one:
But it is my observation that boys at that age have less tolerance for homosexuality than just about any other class of people. They speak badly about homosexuality. And that’s because they don’t want to be that way. They don’t want to fall into it. And that’s a good instinct. After all, homosexuality, we know, studies have been done by the National Institute of Health to try to prove that its genetic and all those studies have proved its not genetic. Homosexuality is inflicted on people.
And then, recalling friend Jim Johnson who survived the “homosexual lifestyle for a long time,” Schwartz relayed:
And one of the things that he said to me, that I think is an astonishingly insightful remark. He said, “all pornography is homosexual pornography because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards. Now think about that. And if you, if you tell an 11-year-old boy about that, do you think he’s going to want to go out and get a copy of Playboy? I’m pretty sure he’ll lose interest. That’s the last thing he wants.” You know, that’s a, that’s a good comment. It’s a good point and it’s a good thing to teach young people.
Inwards? Well, sure, porn helps you find out, inwardly, what you’re into. It arouses you, inwardly, if only because there’s probably no willing sexual partner around an 11-year-old. But what’s any of that got to do with homosexuality? A boy playing with his own penis is going to make him crave more penis? The only way that could happen is if, uh, he’s already gay.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Now it’s unfortunate, then, that this website’s readership is almost exclusively queer, but if we asked straight guys if, when they were kids, they wanted to look at porn, we can say with a confidence level of 98.99 percent, the answer would be a resounding Yes.
The only way to find out, of course, is to give porn to 11-year-olds. Schwartz could probably help us with that experiment.
Full transcript at ThinkProgress.
(Thanks, Rick!)
Bill
An all time low. Even for the Christian Jihadists.
ThatguyFromBoston
I’m always astounded at how out of touch with their own sexuality these are. Shocking.
Rick
If we have a “New Masculinity” can they tell us what happened to the “Old Masculinity?”
terrwill
This guy seems to have a very disturbing amount of info about the sexual interests of 11 year old boys………….
Dennis
@ThatguyFromBoston:
Agreed. So out of touch with their own sexual energy, and governed by their own sexphobias, fear, ignorance, religious brainwashing and the need to control other people’s behavior. (if other’s sexual behavior is controlled and/or limited, they don’t have to deal with their own repressed desires or fantasies)
What these sad, sad bitches really need is therapy, and tons of it… intensive analysis to untangle the complete MESS of crossed wiring they have upstairs.
Oh the Pointlessness Of It All
Well, it is Oklahoma, whose sole reason for being is to make Texas look good.
M Shane
It’s completely dishonest-no more. Bad -faith he’s lieing not only to himself but everyone else. If that bitch just told the honest story of his child hood he would have been wanking like a monkey, having wet dreams,the whole works –sticky dry goods. Don’t attribute any honest motive sto people,.
This kind of spin should has been the toxic mainstay of American Right wing media since the Neocons and Republican discovered the power of the Lie.
Jason
“‘And then, recalling friend Jim Johnson who survived the “homosexual lifestyle for a long time,'”
Surviving good lighting, awesome tapas, flat fronted pants and trendy dinner parties must have been a BITCH!
scott ny'er
Wow. That was long winded. He should’ve just said, “That pornography. That’s so gay. Playboy is so gay. Hustler. So gay. Juggs. So gay. Gay. Gay. Gay. Gay.”
At least kids won’t fall asleep and would understand what he means. Of course, that won’t stop them. They’d still want to wank off to some big breasted chick getting it hard.
ricky
if you watch a man having sex with a woman it makes it gay since you are watching a man with a woman. awfully simplistic reasoning on his part.
schlukitz
Can we say that this guy is completely deranged?
simon
Straight porn IS gay. It contains female homosexual activity. How much gayer can you get?
HiredGoons
@Jason: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: pleats are morally suspect.
me
i get it. cause most porn has dick in it (except lesbian porn but that’s obviously gay too) and looking at dick makes you gay. amirite?
MikenStL
I wish people wouldn’t use science to ‘prove’ their point when it’s clear they have no idea about how science works. If a study is performed trying to show a link between two things doesn’t demonstrate a link, it doesn’t PROVE that there is NO link, it just doesn’t support the presence of a link. A negative outcome doesn’t PROVE that the opposite is true, there could be a whole host of reasons for the negative result…. Anyway just a pet peeve from a scientist….
If it’s porn that turns people gay then what about lesbians? Many girls don’t look at porn (at least not in that age bracket) so what was it watching ESPN?
and If boys turn gay from porn, why aren’t 95% of males gay in this country??? I guess maybe they are, I’ve heard that it just takes a 6-pack.
hyhybt
Is it sad or funny that he thinks 11-year-olds are stupid enough to believe this?
StraightGrrrl
I guess that’s why so many “str8” “strait” guys on craigslist m4m section are looking to get blown and top with gay guys…hhmmmm much to think about
I guess that imbecile Schwartz forgot about abortion, promiscuous sex amongst heterosexuals, drinking, doing psychotropic drugs, and being raised to value materialism over all else? Oh that hasn’t been screwing with America’s youth for the last few decades? Oh wait I guess being gay is worthy of condemnation, because it’s cool to be homophobic now a days. Michael Schawrtz needs to get his priority straights and quit focusing on some imaginary “gay agenda” that only exists and thrives in his mind.
Michael vdB
Porn, like any other thing, can become an addiction. But does that mean that porn is bad? Or that porn is bad for all people? Some women like porn, some guys don’t like it. To use this as a cop-out to explain away everything is disturbing because it comes right back to the early days when the porn was blamed for everything and the government actively censored it. I would be much more worried about my kids getting into a drug culture they may get addicted to, rather than beating off to porn.
On a side note…if boys that age think being gay is gross, then where does that leave the younger boys who think girls and kissing girls are gross?
rike
@Jason: Shallow much? Because we all know that every gay lives like that. Not feeding into stereotypes or anything.
Ozymandias
Heard this story run on one of the Rock radio stations in Tulsa – the DJs were laughing about it saying how ridiculous it was to say that homosexuality was “inflicted on people”!
“They speak badly about homosexuality. And that’s because they don’t want to be that way. They don’t want to fall into it. And that’s a good instinct.” Way to applaud gay-beatings in school, Mr. Schwartz.
Adam
While I’m aware that this really is a serious article regarding a seriously misguided mindset, as well as a total lack of common sense born from a general ignorance on behalf of the “Fourth Reich” as a while, I do have to say “LMFAO!!!” What a perv! Is he advocating the sale of pornography to minors? Or saying it should be boycotted altogether as it makes you crave phallus, specifically your own? I don’t know about many other people, but when I feel the urge to manipulate myself, it’s not because I’m turned on by my own penis in my hand, but rather what I’m thinking about or looking at. Granted, we must allow for a certain percentage of narcissism in the general population, but that is obsession not perversion. I think that Mr. Schwartz has found himself drooling over the male reproductive system a few too many times while watching “Jessica Catches the Train”. Masturbation is a 100% safe (excluding the use of anything glass, involving sharp objects or the like) and very healthy pastime, enjoyed by more than 99% of men around the globe. If Mr. Schwartz hypothesis were correct, given the statistical number of men who regularly view pornographic material, the world population with be in significant decline, retail would be the most profitable industry, and I’d date a lot more.
Adam
@ Jason & HiredGoons: Pleats are for people with something to hide, especially when passing that certain adult store on their way to church.
Carlos
I turned into gay because of straight porn guys, seriously…….. NOT! jajajajaa. ROFLMAO.