STUDY: Most Gay And Bi Men Prefer Sex Toys And Finishing First In Bed

Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute recently analyzed survey responses from around 25,000 Manhunt and D-List users regarding where they like to blow their wads, the age when they first gave head and the sex toys they most enjoy putting inside of them.

Not only are the results surprising—do half of all men really bottom their first time ever having sex?—but Manhunt has also put them into a handy little interactive site complete with animated penis firecrackers, British sperm and a jack-in-the-box that pops out a Fleshlight. Fun!

Manhunt and DList may not make an ideal representative sample for all gay and bi men (especially older men, men of color and men with limited internet access), but the study does at least paint an accurate picture of the sex lives of men cruising the web.

It’s almost as interesting as the recent study that showed that young gays enjoy sex less than their older counterparts… except with more animation.

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  • ct

    80% admit they had sperm in their mouth at least once in their life.

    30% finished in the face or mouth the last time they did it.

    60% “like the taste” of cum.

    And no data on unprotected anal sex.

    No wonder HIV infections keep climbing.

  • Jim Hlavac

    OK, as usual, I would regard all gay numbers as mush. And let’s look at two or three things.

    1) what ct concluded is not supported by the data — for the data is about gay men sex, not the rate of HIV — and the rate of HIV is climbing due to heteros, not gays. In city after city across this nation, gays are a declining factor in the spread of HIV, and heteros are a rising part. Even the “down low” are, to me, heteros — you got a wife, or live with your girlfriend, you are hetero; at most “bi” — which are usually people not on manhunt or other “gay” sites. So, regardless of any unprotected sex exhibited in this little graphic, there’s no conclusion that can be connected to the rising rate of HIV infections in Heteros vs. Gays.

    Then, we have no earthly clue as to the age spread of the participants, at least not from this study or chart. For all we know it was mostly older guys already HIV positive talking about past times, or, nothing but 30 and less who never thought about it. Indeed, there’s precious little indication of whether this data is from memories of long ago; e.g. “The first time” Or last week among 21 year olds. When? This week? 20, 30, 40 years ago? That would significantly alter the data, and thus any conclusions which could be reached.

    And then there’s the 47.5% who were bottoms the first time. Since we have no other data presented, like oh, % who were tops first time, we can concluded that somehow 2.5% were um, what? Top or bottom? If you have 100, 1000, or 1464 couples in top/bottom sex — exactly 1/2 must be bottoms, and exactly 1/2 be tops. And then there’s anecdotal reality, where, in my 35 years of gay bar hopping from Prague to Mazatlan, Mexico, New York to Phoenix, New Orleans to Miami, I dare say, there’s far more bottoms than tops. Ain’t that the complaint? Where are all the good men, eh? What, 52.5% topped first time, then all of a sudden went bottom?

    Still, something is missing from this “People’s magazine” sort of study, and that’s any real data. It’s so self-selected, in the sense of who might use Manhunt (a site I never heard of until just now) and “D-List” — (which I have even less a clue as to what this could be) — so the data are skewed in that regard.

    And it’s time for we gay folks to come up with some real data, and not the continual parade of mush from whichever source seems to want a boost in funds or readership at this moment for having done a “study.”

  • Jim Hlavac

    Oh yah, I wish the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University would put their considerable talents and resources into a study on WHY the hell are we gay — instead of mush like how we like to be gay. For how we like to be gay is the basis of all the political nonsense against us — and WHY we are gay is a friggin’ parlor game where everyone gets to give an opinion and all are correct, except us of course: “born this way.” ahem — and so we are left arguing over our sex, and not our existence. And why this is so hard for either supposedly esteemed institutes at state universities and us gay folks ourselves to see is simply beyond me.

    Study the WHY! Not the HOW. We all know what we do and when, who cares? Not your business — but WHY? Why are we so driven to be gay? No one has an a study on that, that’s for sure. No, they “count” us — yeah, through telephone calls to sundry homes, and guess from there, down to such exact figures as Gary Gates’s 2,491,034. Oh I marvel at that bit of exactitude! They “count” how many times we have sex, and with whom, and how — but WHY? That’s the crux of the political morass we face. Not what we do, WHY we do it.

    And don’t even try to compare us or ally us with any other group or movement — we’re so out of the realm of comparison it is not funny. And oh yes, I’m a “radical” “militant” “homosexual” of unimaginable proportions — but I also think well beyond the usual mush. It behooves all of us to do so.

  • Greg

    @ct: ct: Oral sex has an infinitesimal HIV risk. Don’t worry about that instead of the real cause, unprotected anal. … Jim Hlavac: Personally I always found New York to be much more “toppy” than most places. Boston too for some reason, in case that inspires some guys’ travel plans.

  • ct

    @ Greg

    Sperm in the mouth or eyes = unsafe sex

    Yes, not as risky as unprotected anal, but these huge numbers are obviously evidence of a terrible non-chalance on the issue of safety. Somehow I find it incredulous to believe that people who engage regularly in one risky behaviour draw the line at another.

    @ Jim

    You are wrong in fact, the rate of HIV is climbing all over the western world, especially among young, white gay men.

    “WHY the hell are we gay?”

    Why the hell are people straight? What on earth are you going on about?

  • Riker

    @ct: Of course someone can draw a line. there are varying degrees of risk. Everybody takes risks every day, and automatically calculate them. I took a risk today by driving to work. I could have been killed in a horrible accident, but I decided the benefit (getting paid) was worth the risk.

    The transmission rate for a positive woman giving birth without taking AZT during pregnancy is 25%. The rate for receptive anal sex without a condom, where the top is infected, is 1.7%(cited to PMID 19179227).The infection rate for giving oral sex to an infected man is 0.1%, or 1 seroconversion out of every 10,000 such exposures (PMID 11773877). Considering that Men generally have sex with far, far less than 10,000 people, much less 10,000 positive people, the risk is so small as to be nonexistant.

    If you doubt my numbers check the citations on Pubmed. If you don’t have access, your local librarian might be able to obtain a copy of the relevant journal.

  • Greg

    @ct: The fact that you even refer to it as “sperm” (sic – actually, seminal fluid) puts you into “urban legend” or “old wives’ tale” territory.

    Seriously, whenever I see gay men making wild exaggerations about HIV risks, and sounding as bad as wacko Christian homophobes about it, there’s usually an ulterior motive. Usually they’ve been in monogamous relationships for umpteen years (at least, they THINK their partner is monogamous – ha ha) and they want to herd all gay men everywhere into monogamous relationships just like theirs, as an assertion of their own supposed moral superiority.

    Or… maybe you just think cum is icky? :)

  • AnonJack

    And no matter how many Manhunt or D-List users you survey, if you limit ONLY to Manhunt or D-List users, you’re not going to have a representative sample of gay and bisexual men, particularly not when it comes to sex and sexual behavior. What you will do, however, is get juicier headlines for the release of your “study.” Not helping…

  • mike128

    The sexual behaviors of men who are on dlist and manhunt are probably not representative of the entire gay community. If you’re going to research our sex behaviors, don’t make the assumption that all (or even the majority) of gay men are online seeking sex, or that our sexual behaviors are the same during periods where we’re online as opposed to periods where we are not online (or in relationships).

  • xander

    It ‘s a shame that the Kinsey Institute has sunk to this kind of research when much better designed studies are going unfunded. Sometimes drawing WRONG conclusions from shaky data is worse than drawing no conclusions.

  • G.I. Joe

    “81% said they achieved orgasm during their last encounter”

    Wait, what?

    What were the other 19% doing?

  • B

    No. 5 · ct wrote, “Somehow I find it incredulous to believe that people who engage regularly in one risky behaviour draw the line at another.”

    To put this in perspective – and I’ll give a non-sexual example to avoid emotional responses that may cloud the issue – do you really find it remarkable that some people are willing to drive motor vehicles while acting as if they had a goldfish bowl filled with water on the front seat, but are not willing to ride an overpowered motorcycle under the premise that the speed limit is embarrassingly low? In both cases, you could be killed in an accident, but with vastly differing risks per hour or mile of exposure.

    BTW, if you don’t do anal sex or only do it with a condom, and also make that policy a requirement for your sex partners, that combination reduces your risk considerably – more than the factor of 10 per sex act or so that was indicated in Riker’s comment (No 6). The reason is that Riker gave the transmission rate when the insertive partner was HIV+ and the receptive partner wasn’t. If you pick partners who are safer than the population average, that gives you some additional protection as your risk of “doing it” with someone who is infected is reduced. So the trade-offs are a bit more complicated than you might think. They are also important to understand, as they suggest how to concentrate efforts geared towards prevention (funding is unfortunately limited so they really have to try to get the most prevention per dollar spent).

  • Rob

    I’m on manhunt and I remember answering this survey since I’m a bisexual man.

    I’ve never bottomed for anal sex, never barebacked, and I’ve never swallowed someone else’s cum or semen. I do kiss when I have sex. I don’t own one of those Fleshlights that they said 27% of bisexual and gay men do. I’ve never taken Viagra. I don’t let people cum on my chest or face since I don’t like it.

    I agree with mike128 and AnonJack, they put this study on dating, sex, and hook up sites of course you’re going to find lots of people who don’t practice safer sex.

    I remember taking this survey and being annoyed at how they didn’t ask if you practice various kinks or consensual B&D/S&M/bondage since I do all of these.

  • Rob

    I remember answering this survey on manhunt since I’m a bisexual man.

    I’ve never swallowed anyone else’s semen or cum, and I’ve never bottomed for anal sex. I do kiss people when I have sex with them. I practice safer sex and I personally don’t like someone to ejaculate on my face or on my body at all. I don’t own a fleshlight or masturbation sleeve like 27.9% of people surveyed apparently do.

    I agree with AnonJack and Mike, they put this survey on hook up sites of course you’re going to find that most people want a guy who is 18-24, that they swallow cum or have swallowed someone else’s in the past, and I agree that this survey does not reflect how bisexual and gay men have sex.

    I remember taking this survey and being annoyed that they had no questions asking if you do consensual B&D/S&M/bondage, or various kinks.

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