Despite a growing culture of acceptance for non-hetero identities in this country, the “B’s” in LGBTQ are still largely seen as the unicorns of the community, and that’s got to get tiresome.
Especially, like vlogger Connor Manning recently experienced, when a supposed healthcare professional questions your very existence to the point of requiring a lengthy defense.
He tells the story of a recent trip to the therapist’s office in the below clip.
Related: Bisexuals Answer Stupid Questions Commonly Asked By Gay People
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“I spent thirty minutes of a therapy session, that I’m paying for, convincing someone that I am bisexual enough to be ‘bisexual,'” he says.
While it ended up being merely a moderate annoyance to Connor, he sees the issue as something much larger, particularly for other less-secure bisexual people who face probing questions not just from healthcare practitioners, but from all corners of life.
The moral of the story? Just do you.
Watch below:
Christopher Johnson
Think that’s bad? That’s nothing, I had one tell me I wasn’t gay and he insisted that I was obviously just molested as a child. Which no, I never was.. That’s just outrageous. He also told me to look up muscle memories or something. He was completely bonkers.
enlightenone
Just got a migraine with that voice, volume, and drama/rant! Why was he in therapy if his self-identifier wasn’t an issue. If you are going to attack the therapist’s competence, give context.
onthemark
I believe that bisexuals exist, and I believe everyone has the right to define his/her own sexuality.
I also believe the therapist deserves credit for not cracking up laughing when this guy told her he’s bisexual!
Billy Budd
Bisexuals do exist and I have met and fucked many of them. But this boy is certainly gay.
Kenney G
lol Yep!
John Howard Fearman
It’s time the therapist was struck off!
Richard Lee Zweiben Klein
Quacks and should definitely be reported to their board. I would never put up with that and make it OK.
Topher Levín
It is not a therapist’s job to “believe” everything about who you believe yourself to be. Their job is to help you deal honestly with psychological and social problems that prevent you from living a full life or impact your wellbeing. It’s not their job to coddle your every whim.Therapists do deal frequently with people in crisis who adopt identities as a response to a separate mental or social issue. If there are circumstances that make the new identity questionable, they may quiz you to understand why it’s come about now. That said, a good match is very important, otherwise you’re wasting your money and time. If you aren’t getting what you want, then you should go elsewhere.
kzen64
My therapist didn’t have a problem accepting that I was bisexual. Middle of Indiana too.
My boyfriend just changed therapists. He’s also bisexual, but he likes to wear long hair, fake nails and makeup. At 20 Yeats old he looks like a page out 70’s glam rock. His therapist wanted to focus on that, instead of his pressing issues. He doesn’t want to be a woman, as he says he likes his dick (so do I)
No matter what, if you don’t click with your therapist you should find a new one.
kzen64
@Billy Budd: right, cause you can ALWAYS tell someone is gay by how they act.
Ummmm Yeah
When your therapist tells you to ignore reality and biology and not only live a lie but demand everyone around you accepts that lie as reality instead of accepting yourself for who you are, it’s time to get a new therapist too.
Chris
Time to get a new therapist. We all have a right to name our own reality; and if you say you’re “bi,” then for purposes of therapy, you are bi.
Ogre Magi
@Christopher Johnson: Sounds like a christian therapist
Violent Rainbow
Sorry but I still don’t believe bisexuals exist, every bisexual I’ve ever known has a specific preference the women are almost always still into men and believe that simply kissing another women while drunk makes them bi and the men always end up being gay.
GC1985
@Violent Rainbow: Like your views on trans people, you continue to show profound ignorance. I am not bi, but bi people do indeed exist. Stop trying to marginalize people.
People like you complain about discrimination, yet turn around and discriminate against others.
Marky
@Chris: Exactly.
@Ogre Magi: DING DING DING DING DING!!!!
oddchild1
@Violent Rainbow: You’re argument is no different than the argument Christians use against gay people, “Being gay is a choice, every gay I’ve ever known has had sex with women; they’ve obviously just chosen to be gay and need to be fixed.” Sexuality is fluid; sexual orientation exists on a spectrum, there is a difference between sexual activity and sexual identity. IF you’re going to ask bisexuals to prove they are bisexual; you have to be prepared to prove that you are gay.
Tracy Pope
@Christopher Johnson: I got that too. In California. From a therapist who is lesbian. I’m bi and she tried to tell me because I was molested as a kid I just decided I must be bi when I’m really straight. Nope. Not molested as a kid. Really am bi. After a few sessions discussing this I informed her that I get off on gay porn and lesbian porn. She had this great need to explore that but I got a normal therapist instead.
Joel Ramon
Then it’s time for the Doctor to retire
Dirtybird_Mary
It’s taken me awhile to arrive at the conclusion that bi-sexuality is indeed bullshit.
That said, I don’t think sexuality is black or white, or simple by any means, & human sexuality is intrinsically bi-sexual (if you could strip away all the cultural bullshit & society baggage) w/ people landing toward either end of a colorful spectrum, & I acknowledge there’s a sprinkle of some birds in the middle. … But I’ve been ’round the gay block’ a few times, & can count on one hand the number of people I’ve ever encountered that were (in a practical sense anyway), in real-life “bi-sexual” – I mean really, how many do you know personally? That are truly into guys & girls?! It’s a copout, …it like “gay-lite” or “reduced-calorie-gay” with half the stigma.
I just can’t buy it though – in everyday reality-land, 98% of people (pick anything; whether it’s grindr or Craigslist or whatever) whom ALL claim the bi-sexual moniker, it’s ironic because NONE OF THEM are… Zero.
Dirtybird_Mary
@Violent Rainbow: ABSOLUTELY! agreed.
onthemark
@Chris: “We all have a right to name our own reality…” – Uh, no, it’s doesn’t work that way. What if the patient is completely delusional?
“… and if you say you’re “bi,” then for purposes of therapy, you are bi.” – Maybe on the first visit.
I do think it’s odd that a therapist would challenge a brand-new patient, on the very first visit, about his declaration of bisexuality – at all, never mind for 30 minutes. But maybe she thought he was just SO delusional that she HAD to challenge him on that. Have you people actually watched the video? It’s freaking hilarious! Holy sh*t this kid is gay as a goose and he doesn’t take a breath for 3 minutes and 27 seconds. After watching it three times I’m inclined to think he’s a gay comedian who’s just having some fun with us.
Billy Budd
Of COURSE there are many Bi guys around. I have fucked many of them. Bisexuality was THE NORM in ancient times, especially in Ancient Greece. I love bisexuals. I hope more people become bisexual. Bisexuality is beautiful.
kzen64
Wow, so, having been attracted (physically and emotionally) to both men and women since I was 11/12 years old, people who don’t know me say I’m not bisexual, that the category doesn’t even exist.
Glad I don’t need other peoples validation of my identity to feel whole.
My boyfriend will get a kick out of this… oh yeah, he’s bisexual to.
Bill Jackson
when he opened his mouth and started speaking…..his purse fell out….lol
Kenney G
yep! lol he’s old school maybe, I’ll more accepted if they think I still like girls
kurt_t
This video is another one of those discussions of identity politics that makes me think of Eric Hoffer’s book The True Believer (which you can read online these days, so just google it if you want).
Hoffer was a San Francisco longshoreman who wrote The True Believer in 1951, and if you read that book today, it’s remarkable how he seemed to anticipate a lot of today’s identity politics.
He believed that we generally don’t have a rational basis for identifying with one particular group or another, but that we seek safety, power, and a sense of self worth in the group.
And he believed that the group always needs an enemy. So what I see in this video is someone who’s identified with a group, and he’s identified the group’s shared enemy– the deniers, the people who put the bisexuals’ identity “on trial.”
But I don’t see rationality. I don’t see a clear, rational goal here. You want people to believe that everyone who identifies as bisexual is really bisexual? Well, good luck with that, but it doesn’t sound rational to me.
Kenney G
this is TRUE, gay men are still using that I’m bisexual and never been with a woman. I wouldn’t date a real bisexual let alone a fake bisexual, They are all screwed up in the head
Stached1
@Violent Rainbow: LOL you’re a typical hypocritical bigot.
@Billy Budd: Well said. I’m bisexual but not into bottoming.
@Dirtybird_Mary: LOL another hypocritical biphobic bigot.
@onthemark: What if he’s bisexual but just happens to be femme? I know two bisexual men and they’re both femme/androgynous.
gababy2
Boy seems cute but i prefer my men gay. Its more attractive when they are not into pussy
Daniel Stewart
When your therapist/psychatrist doesn’t believe what you are living and calls you dellusional and suffering a psychosis—kill him–I did today.
Bob LaBlah
I wish I had that kind of money to waste lying on a couch knowing this person does not give ONE damn about my “problem”.
Kenney G
Why are all bisexual men in therapy? You say you’re bisexual and like both genders. Get with a female and shut the hell up.
You don’t have any right to put a female through that crap about wanting to have sex with men.