Bad news, fellas. Pat Robertson’s onto us!
In his latest televised rant, 279-year-old Robertson cautioned 700 Club viewers that gay people are on a clandestine mission to force all Christians to embrace anal and oral sex and endorse sex with dogs.
“The gays…are gonna make you conform to them!” Robertson warned. “You’re gonna say you like anal sex, you like oral sex, you like bestiality! …Sooner or later you’re gonna have to conform your beliefs!”
“What’s so terrible about havin’ sex with animals?” Robertson continues. “Well, that’s what’s gonna come next! …It is a weird world we live in and, ladies and gentlemen, please note that your Christian beliefs are gonna be under assault at every single phase of your life!”
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He also weighed in on the recent controversy involving a pizzeria in Indiana that vowed never to cater a gay wedding.
“Most gays, if they’re havin’ a wedding, don’t want pizzas,” Robertson said. “They want cake.”
We never thought we’d say this, but we have to agree with Pat on that one. No self-respecting gay couple would ever deign to serve pizza at their wedding!
See the nonsense for yourself in the video below:
Dennis C. McGrath
No. But we are on a mission to be left the fuck alone (like we invented anal sex andbestiality – we don’t all do the one and like no one does the other and neither is uniquely gay)
Kevin Anderson-Garrity
A haha no we just want the same rights that every straight couple has . You cannot force anyone to like anything sexual or elsewise.
AtticusBennett
“forced to like anal sex” is a funny one.
it plays to the insecure homophobic myth that “gay men like anal sex”
as if, uh, only gay men have prostates. as if being gay means that you a magical ability to make things in your ass feel GOOD, which straight men biologically do not have.
same old same old. they talk about men men butt sucks. because “icky”
ever wonder why they don’t talk about graphic lesbian sex? this is why:
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/5f73cd0042/anti-gay-preacher-on-lesbian-shower-sex
Giancarlo85
This is a crazy old man with crazy old ideas. I think it’s best to ignore what Pat says.
I’m not even fond of anal sex.
As far as bestiality that tired old argument has been used many times. Same sex marriage, for example, is between two consenting adults. An animal cannot sign legal documents and cannot consent.
Daniel A. Libby
I thought all the “Purity Pledge” clubs took care of the anal sex part.
Matthew Katz
Damn they’ve uncovered our secret plot. Curses foiled again! !!
Ron King
With their wild imaginations anything is possible.
Luis H. Lopez
Why are anti gay Christians so obsessed with anal sex?
Trent Hultgren
Pat Robertson should also preach that Christians are going to soon be forced to like nut jobs like him!
Chris L. Reynolds
They might want to survey their constituents about their “Sexual Proclivities “before they assert a assured knowledge of what Gays are interested in,when it comes to the bedroom!
Kevin J Desmond
I really wish that old fucken bastard would die already !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gregory McDaniel
They are already deep into bestiality.
Danny Ray
To be honest with you–most Christians probably already love anal sex more than we’ll ever know or imagined! They don’t need to be forced into it because they already addicted to it as much as some of us are! We’re just more honest and open about it than some Christians care to admit or confess! Go Figure!!!
Charles Jenkins
It would make the world a better place.
Tony Lee Churchill
Oh please, the idea came from f*ckwad Pat Robertson.
Fidel Lee
lol no just to be left alone to live our lives in love and freedom because we would do the same for them even when their actions do not merit such kindness
Steve J Hull
On the next exciting episode he gets down n dirty with a duck, and blames us gays for making him do it.
Jean-louis Salmon
I THINK CRISTIANS LOVE ANAL SEXE BUT THEY DON’T CONFESS IL Or ADMIT IT
Allan O'Shea
This generation has anal sex all the time. Nothing new.
Dev Russo
They like it more than we do!
Ray Ivey
Good to have a goal.
Edward Houle
When was bestiality a gay fetish? It sure ain’t mine thanks
Tom Hughsted
Many of the younger straight generation prefer anal penetration of their girls to avoid pregnancy as they hate using condoms.
Emilio Fernandez
They wish it.
Realitycheck
Would it be legal to slash the bigot with a law suit for slender?
Eloweez Rainbowz
I am gay as Christmas and I don’t like ether so y would I try to make the Jesus freaks like it
Robert Cuthbertson
Look, dammit read! Get off your butts, stop the bull and read the hate written by Sheldon, Sears, Osten, Lively, Brown and others tHen you will have something to be upset about and maybe you will realize your very life may be in the balance! No, I am not paranoid, I spend time reading the vile hate written by these men!
Bailey Bednar
I’ll just point this out. In Texas, gay marriage is illegal but beastiality isn’t. Conclusion: Rick Perry is a goat fucker.
Realitycheck
@Robert Cuthbertson:
if you truly believe our lives are in danger then yes you are paranoid,
Gay rights are slowly taking shape in the USA, all you have to do is look at the past hundred
years and see how over time things have changed, step by step, we are now on the verge to have gay marriage
recognized nation wide, and 2 thirds of americans are OK with it and behind us, including powerful corporations.
In fact today religious zealots complains are in the likes…”why must it be always what gay people want?”
or when talking about backlashes for religious anti gay attacks “it is no longer an isolated case, we (religious people)
are attacked all over the country, it is discouraging and overwhelming”.
What those crazy people you quoted wrote is no longer relevant, and country folks do not read books do they? LOL
Time to do a check list.
1) Gay marriage victory.
2) Invalidate all religious anti gay laws, in all states.
3) Bring a stop to anti gay bulling, with educations at schools nation wide.
4) tax religious organizations and churches that do not respect
divine of faith and governments.
@Robert Cuthbertson:
if you truly believe our lives are in danger then yes you are paranoid,
Gay rights are slowly taking shape in the USA, all you have to do is look at the past hundred
years and see how over time things have changed, step by step, we are now on the verge to have gay marriage
recognized nation wide, and 2 thirds of americans are OK with it and behind us, including powerful corporations.
In fact today religious zealots complains are in the likes…”why must it be always what gay people want?”
or when talking about backlashes for religious anti gay attacks “it is no longer an isolated case, we (religious people)
are attacked all over the country, it is discouraging and overwhelming”.
What those crazy people you quoted wrote is no longer relevant, and country folks do not read books do they? LOL
Time to do a check list.
1) Gay marriage victory.
2) Invalidate all religious anti gay laws, in all states.
3) Bring a stop to anti gay bulling, with educations at schools nation wide.
4) tax religious organizations and churches that do not respect
divine of faith and governments.
Jim Laughlin
that is bul shirt and ainal sex is not gay
Zekester
Yes, yes I am. But only the HOT ones!
Zekester
How ironic that such a big ass hole is so afraid of anal sex.
Korree Johnson
What vivid imaginations!
Rick Caffey
Wtf
Kathryn Gallagher
The mission must be working. Surveys show that more heterosexuals have anal sex than homosexuals.
Leopold Carrillo Martinez
fucking dumb
Realitycheck
@Zekester: Are you sure? This is about money he is just telling his
zealots what they want to hear, what Robertson does in his private life its all another story.
Paco
Well this site seems to believe that anal sex is the domain of gay men and any straight guy that tries it is going gay too. So can we really blame old crazy Pat for thinking the same way?
See how those stories are a bit problematic now, Queerty? Your fantasies sound just like that crazy old bigot.
Natalie Kennedy
Amazing how ALL CHRISTIAN’S get pushed in the same boat.
Rick Boyd
NO, how stupid
polarisfashion
The bigots sure like to talk about anal sex all the time. How did they get to be such experts in the matter?
gaym50ish
There is no correlation between being gay and having an animal fetish.
And, as for anal sex, 44 percent of straight men and 36 percent of straight women practice it, according to a study released in 2011 by the Centers for Disease Control and the National Center for Health Statistics. And about a third of gays do NOT practice anal sex.
I don’t think you can say anal sex is an exclusively “gay” thing any more than bestiality is.
Jim Polcyn
Oh yeah right who has the time for such nonsense?
Steven Publicover
Most of them already like the buttsex.
Jessy A Ryan
Well, first of all, Gay folks don’t like to have sex with animals and most straight folks already have anal sex in the porn. They don’t need gays to show them, So, the point is moot.
Kathy Griffith
Anal sex, hell yeah! Bestiality, not so much. But then again I’m not Christian or straight so there ya go 🙂
Brian Bowen
Sorry guys….I was forced to tell. My ex gay reparative conversion therapist said that if I divulged the top secret (er,…I mean, … bottom secret) to the gay agenda, that I would get “special favors” from the associate pastor. Plus they said Marcus Bachmann had already spilled the beans, so I didn’t realize I was telling anyone anything that everyone didn’t already know.
I’ve applied for a refund for my $5,283.84 in billable hours, but so far I haven’t heard back. They told me they had a money back guarantee if I still wanted to have anal sex after my 3rd session. Well, I do still want to have anal intercourse (and if you could lay eyes on my ex gay reparative conversion therapist, you would too!)
But now that everyone knows I told the “bottom secret” of the gay agenda, I will need the money in order to hire Cutler X instead. (no, that’ not a line of cutlery).
Anyway, I am deeply sorry if I was supposed to keep this “bottom secret” a secret, but nobody told me, since I’m only on Level 17 of the 21-Step Gay Agenda Re-Orientation Class at Handover Fist Baptist Church.
Let us pray:
Oh, my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee
And I detest all my sins
Because I dread the loss of heaven, and the pains of hell.
But most of all because I love Thee,
And I want so badly to be good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYkwziTrv5o
David Brough
I don’t think anyone could be forced to like anal sex: I know that I could certainly never ever be forced to like a vagina. It’s just yucky!
Robert Hillyer
Hello? Dinner like it was your last night on Earth with 12 of your best guy friends and a prostitute? I wonder if they had pizza catered…..
jwtraveler
The world is full of nonsense. I don’t need Queerty to spread more of it. If I want to know what Robertson thinks (which I never will), I’ll tune into his 700 nutcases club. Please don’t put it here.
jwtraveler
Here’s a billion dollar idea: Anal chastity belts for homophobic Christian men. We could make a fortune by helping those God boys keep their masculinity intact.
Bear Mahal
i don’t need for them to like it. i just need them to accept me.
Daniel E. Cole
Pat Robertson is just mad that no woman or man will let him put his dick anywhere in or near them. 🙂
Transiteer
This Old F**k has a dirty mind (at the very least). We want equal rights under the Law, and U.N. Charter, and we want to be left alone. We DO NOT want to have to conform to some old perverts version of Christianity (or any other religion either). We don’t want to know what the Ol’ Perv does in his bedroom, and what we do is none of his, or anyone else’s business. It seems to be an obsession with the Christian right-wing-nuts though. They must be titillated with the very thought.
Jeffrey Jeannotte
Derp
Kyle L. Gorzynski
It makes me laugh because not all gay men like anal sex!
Jimmy McKinney
Such a trashy article. Is this truly a topic that needs pondering? Such nonsense!
RandomFurry
“Most gays, if they’re havin’ a wedding, don’t want pizzas,” Robertson said. “They want cake.”
The first and only time I will agree with that old fart.
GayEGO
As usual but not surprising for Pat Robertson, idiotic, thoughtless comments about gays. Over the years I have heard many straight christian guys talk about oral sex with the opposite gender, you know, box lunch sex! :>)
mars
Wow, I always wonder what goes on behind closed doors among those who jusdge so harshly. He makes jumps that are illogical- Same sex, to animals – really!!. HUMMMM, I new a heterosexual who had sex with animals, never men!! Pat has such hate. And hey!! some of us ladies just might want pizza and beer at our wedding!! haha!! What does he know anyway.
NoCagada
I have topped several married men…Two were Jewish, the rest would probably call themselves christians…They didn’t need any teaching from me …they already loved being cornholed…esp the southern baptists