“I called Barney Frank,” writes Maureen Dowd about the prospects — pushed forward by President Jimmy Carter — of having a gay president one day soon, “assuming the gay pioneer would be optimistic.” Haha, Maureen. That was your first mistake: “He wasn’t.” Says Frank “It’s one thing to have a gay person in the abstract. It’s another to see that person as part of a living, breathing couple. How would a gay presidential candidate have a celebratory kiss with his partner after winning the New Hampshire primary? The sight of two women kissing has not been as distressful to people as the sight of two men kissing.” (Adds the always cynical, but realistic Frank: Because of DOMA, “it’s not clear that a gay president could use federal funds to buy his husband dinner. Would his partner have to pay rent in the White House? There would be no Secret Service protection for the paramour.”) Not mentioned once in Dowd’s column: The sure-to-be-unsuccessful Republican presidential campaign of Fred Karger.
(NB: The best part of Dowd’s column today is when she asked Vogue‘s André Leon Talley for his thoughts. He says he foresees a lesbian president, in the mold of Julie Andrews, and wears “ankle-length skirts, grazing the Manolo Blahnik kitten heels” to meet heads of state, while opting for a “butch trouser suit for weekends at Camp David and vacation hikes in Yellowstone. No plaid lumberjack shirts at any time.”)