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  Khloe's Camel Toe

‘Drag Race’ Recap: Season 6, Episode 2, The Party’s Over Already For Someone

The Drag Race premiere continues! The other seven contestants entered the show this week. Shall we meet them? We shall.

The mini-challenge was another Mike Ruiz photo shoot, and this time the queens had pillow fights with the Pit Crew guys—

pillow-fight-1

pillow-fight-2

pillow-fight-3

—that’s Bianca Del Rio up in those photos, and she is fun, although Trinity K. Bonet won—

trinity-pillow-fight

—that’s Trinity in that photo, and don’t worry about these two yet because all of the contestants will be explained in a little while—so as the winner, Trinity assigned everyone boxes of props to use for the Main Stage Challenge, which was to create runway looks based on different party themes (toga, luau, St. Patrick’s Day, etc.). She handed them out randomly, so there wasn’t any drama.

Speaking of “no drama,” Khloe Kardashian was the guest judge, and what is there to say about her anymore? Although she did discuss camel toes. Yes, that was interesting. She explained, while sitting on the judging panel, how she has the biggest camel toe on Earth because her vagina is enormous. Delightful. Thanks for that mental image.

Let’s change the subject and get to the runway.

Bianca Del Rio

BDR is a character queen who describes herself as an “insult comic in a dress,” although that description is not entirely clear. She says it like “insult comic in a dress” isn’t already a thing. What about Lisa Lampanelli, Joan Rivers?…never mind.

Bianca tried to fire off some one-liners, but she did not say a single funny thing for the first 45 minutes of the show. Wah-wah-wahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

However, on the runway she looked great.

bianca-runway-1

Her theme: Luau. Her look: bright and curvy, very similar to BenDeLaCreme from last week, and like DeLa’s look, Bianca was the winner this week.

bianca-body

Some people may think she is guilty of overkill with all the makeup and eyelashes and such, but Bianca is obviously a talented performer and a savvy competitor. And seriously, she really does look great.

Plus, in Untucked she dropped her jokes, and she was actually a million times more charming and interesting.

OUTLOOK: Bianca faces the same test that the judges posed for Sharon Needles and her weird contact lenses: if she can drop her “trademark” and lay off the makeup for just one week, she’ll show her range and have a shot at the Final 3. Sharon finally did it. Can Bianca?  You can cut the suspense with a knife! So exciting.

~~~

Trinity K. Bonet

TKB’s picked Princess Party for herself, but instead of making something poofy and frilly, she said she wanted to make a look that was part Star Wars Princess Leia, and part Princess Kate. Hmm. Interesting take on the theme.

Trinity

 

There is no Princess Kate in this, other than the tiara, but no matter. Her look is gorgeous. She got a great start. However, she said the “K” in the middle of her name stands for Kardashian. And with that, she ruined everything.

OUTLOOK: No drag queen who names herself after a Kardashian — without any irony — is savvy enough to win this. Next!

~~~

Joslyn Fox

Joslyn Fox’s theme was quinceañera, the coming-of-age celebration for young Latinas, and her box was filled with piles of colored stuff. So she used all of it.

joslyn

Joslyn is pretty, but she isn’t memorable yet. She’s not particularly funny, or odd, or bitchy or anything. As for her look, the judges didn’t like it and said it was too busy, but it’s fine. Just…fine, okay, whatever. Granted, she looks like a cocktail server at the Rio casino in Las Vegas, but she’s a drag queen. Let her use 20 colors if she wants to use 20 colors.

joslyn-rear

OUTLOOK: She is pretty, but so is Gia Gunn, and Gia Gunn is ditzier and funnier. Joslyn will be gone before the halfway mark of this season’s run.

~~~

Milk

Milk is one of those “performance artist” types, who does stuff just for the sake of getting a reaction. Perhaps the reaction is nausea, but it’s still a reaction. This is her look when she first walked into the workroom.

milk-entry

Making a statement with your art is great if you have something to say, but…

scary
…what is the message in all of this? There really isn’t any. There is a difference between “surprise” and “shock.” Milk is not surprising.

Milk’s theme was Toga Party, so she got miles of white fabric, and as a whole the look isn’t bad. But then she jacked it up with that stupid beard, using shock value instead of actual creativity, so if you don’t like it she can say “You just don’t understand my art!” as if it’s our fault we think she looks awful. Yes we do understand it. We understand that we don’t like it.

milk-full
Courtney Act, standing in the middle wearing a blue bikini, is thrilled that her competition is a drag queen who looks like this. It only makes Courtney look better. But we’ll get to her later.

Milk isn’t the first drag queen to sport a beard. But bearded drag queens are so boring. The whole point of drag is to lose the beard! It would be no different than if Milk walked onto the stage sporting a prosthetic penis. Why not bring in some drag kings who use padded bras to make their breasts look bigger?

I’ll let it go. Although anyone who questions the power of drag that is androgynous and strange, please look back at the genius of Raja. Milk < Raja.

The last time I saw a beard like that on a drag queen, I was backstage with Lady Bunny as she got ready for her show, and she’s had so many facelifts her chin was covered with…oh wait, I don’t want to give Bianca any material. But see how easy it is?

OUTLOOK: Oh please. NEXT!

~~~

Magnolia Crawford

Magnolia got the Hoedown Party box, which included a lot of denim and cow-print fabric, but none of it was good enough and she complained incessantly and she had a nasty attitude.

All that negative energy manifested on the runway.

dead-insideLook at this mess. She’s dead inside.

Her runway look itself was fine, but she got nervous and she started to randomly make excuses for herself, saying she didn’t like her box—apparently that was the theme of the day, since Khloe Kardashian doesn’t seem to like her own box either (ba-dum CHING!) — and when the judges made a comment that her dress was alright but a little boring, which is hardly a criticism, she had Bad Idea Of The Year and she started to argue.

This is what happens to RuPaul when someone argues with her.

argue

Her body physically reacts. Her brain processes the experience the same way as if she was smelling Khloe Kardashian’s king size panty liner. Snap! There’s another good one. Bianca could learn a thing or two about jokes here. Anyway—

So to try to rescue her disastrous spiral down the Drag Race toilet, Magnolia went back into the Interior Illusions Lounge and made more excuses, saying she wasn’t there to win and she just wanted the publicity from being on the show. But really she was freaked out when she saw the competition and she tried to cover it by pretending she didn’t really want to be there. Bad idea. Rule #1 for reality TV: never complain about being on the show. The editors will shred you.

It’s not worth getting into, because…

OUTLOOK: …RuPaul understood the viewing public wouldn’t like the way she looks on TV, so she was kicked off the show this week. #girlbye

~~~

Courtney Act

Ahh, this is better. We’re back on track with good contestants again. Courtney Act is a big deal in Australia, as she was a finalist on Australian Idol, and like any self-respecting drag queen, she reminded us of this bit of info repeatedly, thank you for that Courtney. It’s like Willam is back, rattling off her resume at every turn. (Too bad Kelly Mantle was kicked off last week, or she would’ve gone crazy. And if you don’t understand that reference, you didn’t read last week’s post!)

Courtney’s theme was Republican Party, but she tossed everything aside and just wore a swimsuit as an excuse to show off her skinny little body. Sorry for the blurry photo. Courtney is an itty bitty thing and she moves fast.

courtney-act-body

She also proved her smizing skills.

courtney-smize

Actually Willam would have just worn a bikini too. They really do have a lot in common. Willam and Courtney are both sexy blondes. Willam and Courtney are both singers. I wonder if Courtney is an insatiable bottom? Damn it, there I go again! Don’t let Bianca read this!

OUTLOOK: So far her look is very traditional female impersonation, and that’s lovely but also very limiting. She needs to show some creativity beyond the lucky fact that she can put on a wig and look like a girl. Hopefully she’ll glam it up at some point, or she’ll become monotonous.

~~~

Darienne Lake

Darienne Lake was given St Patrick’s Day Party, so she modeled some green fabric into a garment from the Lane Bryant Disco Revival collection.

This was awful.

awful-1

Of course she lip synced for her life in the Bottom 2.

But don’t you just want to give her a big hug?

darienne-lake-face
Darienne is funny, smart, magnetic, she knows how to speak in sound bytes to make it easy for editors to use her in a TV show, and she has a twinkle in her eye that hints she knows how to have fun. She seems like the kind of girl you want to be friends with.

OUTLOOK: This first Challenge wasn’t a good representation of her ability. After a few seasons with avant garde drag winners (Raja, Sharon Needles, Jinkx Monsoon), RuPaul has interest in honoring a true pageant-type performer. I’m calling her as part of the Final 3.

Speaking of the finals, go vote for who you think should make it! Drag Race Final Three

By:           Sven Petersen
On:           Mar 4, 2014
Tagged: , ,

  • 14 Comments
    • smartguyd
      smartguyd

      Can we get CHRIS J KELLY back? This recap feels like it was hastily written in 20 minutes so you could catch a bus and it is missing all of the humor and charm. Bianca Del Rio would read you into the fetal position with no effort and while making a gown.

      Mar 4, 2014 at 2:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Apparatus
      Apparatus

      “Bianca tried to fire off some one-liners, but she did not say a single funny thing for the first 45 minutes of the show.”

      I don’t know what you’re talking about, because she was HILARIOUS. Definitely my favorite Queen of this episode and definitely a serious threat this season!

      A funny Queen is a dangerous thing, because while a lot of these other girls may look amazing, sometimes they open their mouths or get pushed beyond just being glam and they fall apart because they don’t seem to have brains.

      Mar 4, 2014 at 2:33 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • belligerentbex
      belligerentbex

      What happened to the reviews here? I loved them last season, and now not only are they not funny, but they show a fundamental misunderstanding of drag. “Bearded drag queens are so boring” really? Mathu Anderson, anyone?

      Mar 4, 2014 at 2:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Daveliam
      Daveliam

      Well I can tell already that I won’t be able to read the recaps here because I think they are rubbish. Last week, he claimed that Laganja and Gia were among the best and this week, he thinks Bianca isn’t funny and Milk is boring?!? WTF!?! And MORE praise for Gia? I just don’t get it at all. He did sum up my thoughts about him nicely though: #byegirl….

      Mar 4, 2014 at 3:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Apparatus
      Apparatus

      @Chris Kelly:

      OMG, yes yes yes! I have missed your recaps so much. Thank you for telling us where to find your new stuff.

      Mar 4, 2014 at 3:45 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Homophile
      Homophile

      @SVEN PETERSEN

      You have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.

      Mar 4, 2014 at 4:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hamoboy
      hamoboy

      Wow, they really had no budget for the reviews this year. This review was even lamer than last week’s. I shudder to think of how next week’s will turn out.

      Mar 4, 2014 at 4:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      What the hell is up with the reviews?!? During your review of Milk you forgot to leave out that the judges loved it.

      Was there a limit on words for this post or something?

      Mar 4, 2014 at 6:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • boring
      boring

      What you failed to mention is Milk’s best accessory that she wore for her entrance: toilet paper on her shoe.

      Goddamn that was so fucking excellent.

      Mar 4, 2014 at 10:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ScaryRussianHeather
      ScaryRussianHeather

      Where is the former reviewer, FFS?

      Bianca did not say she’s “an insult comic in a dress”.

      She said “I’m an insult comic, JUST LIKE DON RICKLES BUT in a dress, prettier and not as old.”

      Did she say she was the ONLY insult comic in a dress? What part of that was “not clear”?

      And for the record, EVERYTHING she said was funny.

      For a “writer” you sure ignore accuracy and context.

      Mar 5, 2014 at 12:47 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • C. Michael
      C. Michael

      After years of turning to Queerty every morning while eating my breakfast and rolling my eyes at the bitches who make angry commentary at the sites contributors the day has finally come. Sorry Queerty but if you can’t see the Cindy Shermanesque realness that Milk is serving up then you need to hang your head in shame. To quote Gia Gunn in last episode “maybe it’s just not for you”and by that I mean writing interesting Drag Race reviews. Thanks, but no thanks I’ll stick to my John Polly extra lap recaps.

      Mar 5, 2014 at 4:30 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ChgoReason
      ChgoReason

      @Apparatus: I wholeheartedly agree with you. Bianca was incredibly funny. She didn’t use other people to pitch her material as a stepping stone for kicks, (like Raja and Delta Work). But rather was able to use her wit in a way that showed she has a true talent that blows the competition out of the water. Why was there no fawning for her on this review for winning the first competition? Last week we had comparison between the eventual winner of the week and past first week winners Raja and Needles, and how they managed to win the whole damn thing. And this week we have an uninspired review full of projective insight and dull criticism.

      Mar 5, 2014 at 7:58 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sarahsmile
      Sarahsmile

      I agree with the reviewer that Bianca’s reads during the episode were ill-timed and unfunny. She had a few moments during Untucked, but that was it. There was actually some decent material there, but her delivery was so off – that joke when Darienne was telling her about performing as a local celebrity – she said “and none of them showed up so you performed” or something like that. If you’re gonna throw shade, make it FUNNY shade. Queens like Alaska or Raja could say some incredibly bitchy things to people, and totally get away with it. I don’t think Bianca has “it”.

      Mar 6, 2014 at 10:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • smartguyd
      smartguyd

      @Sarahsmile: Either you are blind and deaf or you are the author of the article in drag

      Mar 6, 2014 at 11:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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