Enrique Iglesias’s Metaphorical Penis Was Too Hot for TV

It’s sort of laughable that any music video can be “banned” anymore, since nobody turns to MTV or Fuse to watch these things, but YouTube and MySpace. But the world was a different place back in 2000. No online repository for music-making cat videos. And Enrique Iglesias was still considered a star! Which is it’s so sad to learn we missed out on this music video for “Sad Eyes,” which was too SEXY for TV!

The plot for the “Sad Eyes” video? Iglesisas has the hots for a phone sex girl who advertisers herself on television. Because we’ve run out of ideas. “The video features him de-shirted and touchy-touchy with himself as he lusts after a phone sex commercial gal, who is played by porn actress Cassidey,” relays the website Tabloid Prodigy. “Coincidentally, he later runs into this bimbo as he’s picking up hookers. Soul mates, perhaps? At 3:25, he brings her back to his hotel room for a romp–and Enrique is full on naked! Of course his tiny bits are covered by the hooker’s legs. The best part comes when he takes her into his bedroom where there is conveniently a stripper pole growing out of his mattress–or rather, in between his legs (symbolism, much?).”

We appreciate it when phallic references are not made subtly, risking we miss them, but throw in our faces like giant wants are meant to be.