A mere year and three months after Uganda’s introduction of the Kill The Gays bill, ex-gay group Exodus International’s president Alan Chambers has finally issued an apology for his group’s involvement. The gist: Exodus has too many members to ever know what the hell they’re doing, and that they would have clarified their position long ago except that God didn’t tell them to take the complaints of faggots seriously until now. The Lord works in mysterious ways, especially when you have your head up your ass.
Chambers’ lame ass apology begins thus:
Criticism is easy to come by at Exodus. We are a large and diverse organization made up of many members. Our growth over the years has caused us to not always know what the hand or foot are doing, which sometimes causes us to look like we are “all butt”.
“All butt” indeed (looks like I might have something in common with the hate group). On their blog, Chambers clarified that Exodus doesn’t want to kill or imprison their potential customers, just shame them into being straight.
And while his statement means little now — because Exodus shouldn’t be taken seriously, and the iron is now cold — what’s really priceless is the bitchy, bitchy bitchfight between Chambers and Exodus’ now openly gay co-founder Michael Bussee, who’s disavowed the group, in the post’s comments section:
Michael Bussee says:
Well done? Are you kidding? That’s like saying “well done” after the house burns down and a YEAR LATER they finally say, “Oops, I should have heeded the warnings and not dropped that match!”
Then Chambers responds with:
Good thing I don’t live my life to please you, Mike. I am thankful for God’s grace and mercy aren’t you?. He does not condemn me so I don’t really care if you do or not.
Then Bussee returns with:
Alan: I am VERY thankful for God’s grace and mercy! And, I don’t CONDEMN you. I just have no RESPECT for your terrible handling of this life and death matter. There’s a BIG difference.
I think you now realize that it was careless and stupid on your part. Glad you finally stepped up to the plate. it was NEVER, EVER about pleasing me. It was about doing the right thing.
BTW: The saracastic and defensive tone of these comments by you and Randy make me wonder how sincere this really is. It makes it look as though you did it to mainly to get your critics to lay off — not because God finally convicted you of your error.
Then Chambers goes all soft:
Thank you. Someone emailed me privately and asked about you and I said, “Though I usually want to wring his neck, God loves him dearly and I honor him as a founder of the ministry that saved my life.” I, too, hope we can move on.
Later on, Chambers bitchslaps Bussee with something like, “Oh yeah? If you’re so enlightened and gay friendly, why didn’t you ever issue a statement against sodomy laws back in the 70s?” Admittedly, we’re always glad to see fags taking Exodus to task, but Bussee did FOUND the damned organization — it’s kinda like Dr. Frankenstein chiding Igor for creating such a murderous creature.
But never one to miss a party, the groups executive vice president Randy Thomas then jumps into the mix with his own lame apology. You see, Thomas once wrote a statement about opposing the overturning of sodomy laws in Lawrence v. Texas because homosexuals having consensual sex in the privacy of their own homes might lead to gay marriage. Can’t have that, so let’s toss buttlovers in the clink along with murderers and rapists — it’s the Christian thing to do.
But now, seven years later, he regrets having ever said such a horrible thing. He wants you to know that he too has also changed his mind, y’all. Oh wait, he forgot to state his NEW position anywhere on the internet until this very moment? Oops! Totes his bad. Oh well, now you know, and that’s what’s most important, not the fact that he encouraged thousands of other Americans to imprison their own neighbors for stimulating their own prostates.
Exodus International, incredibly late to the game. And incredibly lame.