On July 23, Exodus International executive vice president Randy Thomas (pictured, right) will celebrate eighteen years of celibacy. Are there Hallmark cards for that?
The 42-year-old ex-gay leader revealed the results of his pact not to insert his penis into another human orifice in a blog post where he answers a question from a young lad: Is he happier now than when he was a gay? Let’s jump in!
I can’t imagine myself at 50 either! But when I was 24, EIGHTEEN years ago :) I wouldn’t have imagined I would be single at 42 years old and not having sex with another person for the next 18 years! As a matter of fact, if I had know that at 24 my brain might have exploded. But let me ask you this, even if you are gay … is it possible to be alone … and gay … at 50? Is it possible to be with a partner but still lonely or miserable at 50? In fact, is it possible neither of us could make it to fifty? OR live to 100 and have a blissful life?
[...] Of course I am lonely sometimes. But I am also happy sometimes. Like every other human on the planet, I experience the full range of our God given emotions. I have really fun, smart and caring friends. I have mean not emotionally available grumpy type of friends too :) . The Lord is working in my family and church family on all kinds of levels. I interact with people I will never see again … just like everyone. I get angry, upset, snarky, but am getting better about loving, listening and selflessly serving.
I also don’t envy my married friends anymore. I enjoy being “Mr. Randy” or “Uncle Silly” to kids all across North America. My relational needs are met and being met abundantly. When I turn my focus outward to selflessly investing/serving others for their good … not my need … interestingly my needs get met. It’s a spiritual paradox (losing our lives to live for Christ) that never fails.
So congratulations to Randy, who’s taken a vow of celibacy, just like the one real priests make, and adopted the “normal lifestyle” that “God” wants: One where he is neither gay nor experiencing the human delights of sharing intimacy with another person. That was his call — his choice, if you will — to make, and who am I to criticize what another gay man chooses to do for himself? As Randy himself notes, “The question, for me, isn’t really about whether I am ‘happy’ or not. The question is whether I am content in Christ regardless of circumstance.” To another 18 years of contentment, or whatever.
[photo: L-R, Exodus president Alan Chambers, evangelical Christian author Joni Eareckson Tada, former media relations director Julie Neils, and Randy Thomas; via]