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Help Queerty Find ‘Straight Acting’ Erik a Date!

Erik, who goes by “StraightActingGayGuy” on the Y-Tube, has never been on a date with a guy. Ever! This makes us feel bad. Not just because the void in his life has him uploading videos to the interwebs talking about his despair, but because he knows he’s the romantic type and wants to at least share a dining out experience with another fella. And also: He could use a lay.

The above video, titled “Sexually Frustrated Young Gay Guy,” pretty much says it all. (But don’t let that stop you from listening to Erik go on about how he’s ready to “explode” and how “the hand really was a great invention”!) It also follows April’s “Sometimes It’s Lonely Being Gay” (below), which gave us a major case of the sads.

This much we know about Erik: He’s 20, he a sophomore at Saint Cloud State University in Minnesota, and he’ll be spending the fall of 2010 studying abroad in Germany. We also know his email address to be ErikTheDudeGuy@live.com (which he posted on his own YouTube page, so it’s not like we’re revealing his personal contact info).

But Erik also has no idea that we’ve taken up the cause in finding him a date. Not that it’s much of a secret as soon as we hit the “publish” button. So do what you will with this information, and if you know anyone who lives around here and has use for a sexually frustrated underclassman, send him Erik’s way.

Think of this as the inaugural Queerty Dating Service. And your way to do good in 2010.

By:           editor editor
On:           Jan 15, 2010
Tagged: , , , ,

  • 134 Comments
    • Same Crap
      Same Crap

      He moves his neck and hands too much when he talks to be considered “straight-acting.”

      Jan 15, 2010 at 12:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Same Crap
      Same Crap

      Oh if he wants a date, he start by not calling himself str8 acting. It’s annoying.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 12:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Republican
      Republican

      Oh, Queerty, why did you post this? You guys know the comments made whenever a model is less than perfect. (And I’m as guilty as anyone of making them.) What this guy will get… oh man.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 12:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Qjersey
      Qjersey

      The “str8 acting” ones are always such big bottoms and cocksuckers OR they are strict tops who like to denigrate the guys they fuck for liking the penis.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 12:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Erick
      Erick

      Anyone who uses the term straight acting is a potential douche, so at first glance, finding this guy a good date seems like an uphill battle to me.

      But seriously, with so many avenues to find someone to even just go for coffee on the internet alone, seems like his loneliness might be his own doing. The thing is you just got take the plunge.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 12:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • soul_erosion
      soul_erosion

      Once you get suckered into one of these “I feel sorry for him” modes and follow through with a charity hook-up, these desperate, romantic types usually turn into a quasi stalker with constant calls & texting, thinking you’re in love with them. I learned my lesson, NEVER again!

      Jan 15, 2010 at 12:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Alexandre
      Alexandre

      get a haircut

      Jan 15, 2010 at 1:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • a
      a

      You guys are all over 30 and fat bitchy queens. hes just a kid, who doesnt know how the term straight acting could hurt or offend someone. its obvious that you have all been hurt by that term though, as you feel unable to call yourselves that.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 1:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Phil Reese
      Phil Reese

      He should stop using the term “straight acting.” If he wants a date. We all know what it means when a gay man uses “straight acting.” Translation: “I hate gays.” Which is actually even more accurately translated: “I hate myself for being gay.” Same translation as “I’m not like other gay guys,” and “I don’t fit into the gay community.” Its all a product of self-loathing. The reason people like Erik feel they don’t fit into the gay community is they have not bothered to get to know other gay men for who they are, and are operating under the same stereotypes and prejudices they operated under before they admitted to themselves that its ‘not just a phase.’ Many gay men think they can just jump from closeted and praying about it Evangelical to permanently monogamously coupled with the gay millionaire doctor version of Channing Tatum and bypass going out, networking, building friendships and dating. Why is that? You want to talk about ‘straight acting,’ that’s really straight acting–straight people have to date around, meet people, operate in the straight dating pool and participate in the process before they hit the jackpot, so why shouldn’t gay men? ESPECIALLY gay men who insist they are ‘straight acting.’

      Erik, you want a boyfriend? Get off your computer and go to a gay bar and strike up a conversation with the bartender. You don’t have to drink. You don’t have to dance. You don’t have to do coke off a hooker’s thigh in the bathroom. Just talk to and get to know the bartender. The bartender will remember you next time you come in. You’re relatively cute. The bartender will point out a few interesting and nice people to get to know. Probably not boyfriend material people, but these people most likely have lots and lots of gay friends. And of these gay friends, you may actually find someone you get along good with.

      Really can’t stand the idea of a bar (Well that’s funny, that’s where most straight singles your age do their courting… but whatever)? There’s a gay club or two at your university. Start going to meetings. You may not actually date anyone who’s in the group. But you can start SOCIALIZING with them and getting to know them (and their friends). You don’t have to give up your current friends or all of your other ‘straight acting’ activities, but you could get to learn that you’re actually in good company as a gay man. You may actually find some long lasting quality friendships among those people–and that’s what we really need.

      Because boyfriends can come and go, and we hope someday that one will stick, and most likely one will, but in the meantime, it makes it all the more bearable when we have a tight group of good friends who love us for who we are and have our best interests in mind. That’s way better than any gay millionaire doctor version of Channing Tatum. Well… almost.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 1:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ken S
      Ken S

      At risk of further flogging a deceased horse, yeah, why would a proud homo site inaugurate such a service by trying to find a date for someone who subscribes to a bunch of heteronormative “Imma act straight because they’re better than all those ‘faggy’ fags” bullshit? Whenever I meet someone who boasts about their ‘straight-actingness’ and whines about being single, I can’t help thinking “maybe all the good gay guys are too busy acting GAY– that is, being with other guys without shame over it– and when they hear that you prefer to act straight they just assume that means you’d rather be dicking chicks… since those are really the *only* defining characteristics of ‘gay’ versus ‘straight’ men.”

      If you’re a butch faggot then fine, be yourself. But ‘acting’ anything is putting on some pretentious affect. And whereas ‘straight’ necessarily means “only into the opposite sex,” if you actually want to fuck other guys then spare us the absurd, self-congratulatory, hetero-worshiping sissyphobia inherent in calling yourself “straight-acting.” You don’t look very ‘straight’ with a dick in you.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 1:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • scott ny'er
      scott ny'er

      one word.

      Craigslist.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 1:21 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Michael W.
      Michael W.

      He looks like the McDonald’s moon man.

      http://www.lukedot.net/journal/Minnesota12.JPG

      Jan 15, 2010 at 1:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • schlukitz
      schlukitz

      No. 9 · Phil Reese

      Thank you for making such a concerned and caring post to Eric. Your comments about the term “straight-acting” are right on the money. As A in comment 8 said, Eric is probably just too young to realize the full negative implications of using such a term in trying to find a date.

      You’ve pointed out some sensible options for meeting people and I do hope that Eric takes at least a small portion of your advice to heart and finds someone to share his life with.

      As my straight brother once said to me “Everyone deserves someone to be with, straight or gay.” His saying that, made me appreciate and love him all the more.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 1:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • JR
      JR

      Desperation is not a good selling point. He is putting the wrong message out by not being confident and having a clouded perception of what adult relationships are about. Getting a mate has nothing to do with looks! There are plenty of VGL people who can’t get dates… but they are exuding the same lack of confidence and bad energy that this guy is…

      As far as the ‘straight acting’ bit, he’s awfully young to know what the P’s & Q’s are as far as being a gay man… He is parroting something that he heard used and hasn’t yet formulated his own way of concretely thinking about who he really is sexually!

      My analysis.. He will not be ready for dating anybody until he can know who he is and be confident in that.

      As Buddha says, “Desire is the root of all suffering.”

      Jan 15, 2010 at 1:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Same Crap
      Same Crap

      “as you feel unable to call yourselves that.”

      You say that like it’s a bad thing. I am a gay man who acts like himself. How’s that?

      Jan 15, 2010 at 1:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike L
      Mike L

      Redhead’s hair is beautiful :0

      Jan 15, 2010 at 1:52 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kevan
      Kevan

      Oh, give it a rest, folks.

      He’s a young guy trying to figure out where he fits in the big world and the gay world. He doesn’t quite identify with all of the fabulousness of Q Street, nor is he fully comfortable in Budweiser Bowl set.

      Instead of being an ass to him, set him up on a date or take him out and show him how wonderful the world — all of it — is. We won’t make that final leap to full community status if we keep bitching about how the youngins aren’t “right” yet. Being confused is their job. Ours is to show them the way.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 2:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • RJ
      RJ

      The dude’s never been on a date with a guy, c’mon he get’s a pass on the straight acting thing.

      All of you commenting on his looks are self absorbed pricks.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 2:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kevin (New Jersey, US)
      Kevin (New Jersey, US)

      He’s cute. He’s intelligent. He’s got a sense of humor. He’s ambitious of education. I don’t see why this guy is having trouble getting a date. Were he ugly, stupid, boorish, and ignorant, I could understand the dilemma. *shrug*

      Oh, and I don’t have a problem with the term “straight-acting,” though perhaps “butch” would be a little less offensive. I follow that there are a lot of value judgments associated with that term, but at the same time, a lot of gay guys don’t find effeminate men attractive, and unfortunately being effeminate is part of the stereotype, hence the necessity of differentiation. But “butch” or “masculine” would probably be a better choice of words.

      Hey Erik – after all this publicity, if you still “can’t get a date,” I will refuse to believe that you’re actually gay.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 2:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Trish
      Trish

      The term “straight acting” only hurts or offends nelly queens who hate themselves. Seriously. Erik isn’t saying he’s better than prissy boys, but that’s the conclusion those milqtoasts jump to.

      Erik’s under no obligation to date sashaying flamejobs, and he’s entitled to be proud and vocal about who he is. You can’t possess him, no matter how much you try to guilt him into towing the line. Let him alone and be happy for him.

      Homosexuality is steadily becoming accepted by society, but it’s just not forming up to be all about parades full of bearded fright queens wearing tiaras. It’s going to be about gay and bi kids growing up with self-esteem. It’s going to be about folks not knowing or caring whether their friends, neighbors or co-workers like some of this, that, or both. It’s going to be about running into your college boyfriend and kissing him right in front of his wife and kids, and noone raising an eybrow.

      Please! Enough with the furious, hissing he-spinsters and the mind games launched aginst supposed traitors in our midst. It’s annoying at best, separatist and destructive at worst.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 2:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • YCKTR
      YCKTR

      He’s just a kid trying to figure out his role in world. We’ve ALL been there…remember how YOU felt?

      He’s just a kid…model decent, supportive behavior or simply step aside so that others can. Some of you should hang your heads in shame at the responses you’ve posted. Does it make you feel better to shit on someone that needs your support?

      It seems like the only time we’re ever interested in queer youth is when we deemed them “fuckable”. Such bullshit.

      !

      Jan 15, 2010 at 2:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • RomanHans
      RomanHans

      > The term “straight acting” only hurts or offends nelly
      > queens who hate themselves. Seriously.

      I haven’t read anything stupider than that since I had to return Going Rogue to the library.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 2:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sam
      Sam

      @No. 8: Yeah! And we all know, if you’re a gay guy over 30, you might as well just go kill yourself. Old troll!!!

      We should totally start some gay version of Logan’s Run up in here. I’d have gladly offed myself three years ago if it had meant that I wouldn’t have had to see all the old gay dudes hanging around the gay bar in my twenties. Olds are the WORST!!!one!!eleven!

      Jan 15, 2010 at 3:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • RomanHans
      RomanHans

      ITA! Totally! Old people are horrible! OMG! ITA! I saw a scary old dude the other day who — wait, I just got a text.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 3:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sam
      Sam

      No. 24: That was twenty pounds of awesome in a ten pound sack.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 3:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Brian NJ
      Brian NJ

      Erik is such a nice, mature guy. I love how he has taken the time to reach out and say hello to all of us.

      Erik — Don’t be shy at all. If never pays not to walk up to someone and say hello that you like. They might be shy too, and are looking for someone to make the first move.

      Good people will like you, and the bad ones will not. It is just as simple as that.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 3:33 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • lilphily
      lilphily

      @Same Crap: @Same Crap: word up who the hell thinks this is straight acting? wtf get it together are we really this gay lol?

      Jan 15, 2010 at 4:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • scott ny'er
      scott ny'er

      @Sam: @RomanHans:
      ok. that was kind of funny.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 4:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ossurworld
      ossurworld

      Maybe he should lower his high standards. Be a slut.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 5:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Attmay
      Attmay

      @Phil Reese:

      Project much?

      Comments like yours are why he describes himself as “straight acting”. Actually, the way we treat each other like shit (imagine if we were this cruel to our enemies), we certainly lower ourselves to their level.

      @scott ny’er:

      Craigslist? The home of liars, losers, and assorted lowlifes? If he’s strapped for cash (which, being a college student, he probably is) and wants a real relationship, plentyoffish.com would be better.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 5:45 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Aaron
      Aaron

      Queer rights defending, gay bash discouraging Queerty – 1

      Newly out midwestern kid learning about himself and looking for love – 0

      Queerty, you should be SO proud of yourselves! Perez Hilton ain’t got nothing on your guys.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 6:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Wen
      Wen

      I dont think he means he is acting straight as in he’s ‘acting trying to be straight’, but that he looks straight. Hope you find a good guy, Erik, not some old meany gay guy we see commenting here.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 7:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MissUnderstood
      MissUnderstood

      Queerty hook him up with Davey Wavey!

      Jan 15, 2010 at 7:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MuscleBoy
      MuscleBoy

      He should not be gay. His ugly.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 7:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • James UK
      James UK

      @ No. 32

      That’s just cruel.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 7:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • James UK
      James UK

      @ No. 33

      Can we see your picture?*

      And those of any referees# that you might care to tender?

      * Your real pictures, taken today.

      # As to your gayness, and whether you’re any good at it.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 7:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Thom
      Thom

      I hate how shallow gay people are.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 8:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • oompaLoompa
      oompaLoompa

      @no. 36
      why is Erik shallow?

      Jan 15, 2010 at 8:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • dontblamemeivotedforhillary
      dontblamemeivotedforhillary

      This is snarky. Move along….nothing to see!

      Jan 15, 2010 at 8:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • YCKTR
      YCKTR

      No. 33 · MuscleBoy
      He should not be gay. His ugly.

      —–snip—-

      And you’re ugly on the inside…

      !

      Jan 15, 2010 at 9:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • romeo
      romeo

      He’s not ugly, but he could use a make-over. If he’s going anywhere near Berlin or Hamburg when he gets to Germany, he’ll get laid. LOL

      Jan 15, 2010 at 9:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Republican
      Republican [Different person #1 using similar name]

      Romeo, you’re way too nice, but that’s why we love you.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 9:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • sal(the original)
      sal(the original)

      awwwwww..still i dont think he will pay that loser in las vegas who wont slut it up for the gays,so there he’s NOT desperate

      Jan 15, 2010 at 9:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • romeo
      romeo

      @Republican: Me? Nice? Naaaaaah. LOL

      Jan 15, 2010 at 9:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Republican
      Republican [Different person #1 using similar name]

      Well, looking at the Scott Herman pics made me decide that it’s time to stop being polite and start getting real.

      MuscleBoy’s reaction is what this guy will face at almost any gay bar or club. We can bitch and moan about how shallow such comments are, but we all know that his chances are pretty poor if he goes out looking like he does in the video.

      He needs a complete makeover. Clothes, hair, confidence, everything.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 10:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MrBeautiful
      MrBeautiful

      Yep, he’s a dog. That’s why he can’t get laid.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 10:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bomba
      Bomba

      @no. 44
      Hey Republican, who is Scott Herman?

      Jan 15, 2010 at 10:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sumatra
      Sumatra

      Is this Chris Crocker without makeup?

      Jan 15, 2010 at 10:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Republican
      Republican [Different person #1 using similar name]

      Bomba,

      Person on a past season of the Real World. (Thus my joke about ‘start getting real’) Don’t care for the show, but Queerty posts pics of him quite often. The latest: http://www.queerty.com/photos-for-hermankind-20100115/ Pics 11, 13, and 14 are the best.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 10:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Barney F.
      Barney F.

      A/S/L?

      Jan 15, 2010 at 11:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Erik
      Erik

      Ahh, nice. This is Erik, it’s cool to see this article about me.

      Some guys on here have a problem with the term “straight-acting.”
      Honestly, Straight-Acting is a term I would not normally use. Personally, I don’t have a problem with it though. I deliberatly choose the term “straight-acting” when I signed up for Youtube. I had good intentions in mind. There are many young, and not so young, gay people who describe themselves as straight-acting. Many of these people do not neccessarily feel like they fit the popular conception of what it means to be gay. Perhaps they feel afraid of being gay. It was my hope that peeople such as I have just described would notice my username and take a peek at my videos. If you look at many other of my videos (more than just the two listed on here) you will see a confident young gay man, with ambitions and foals, and who is not afraid to be himself.

      I’ve recieved many emails from people letting me know how I have helped them out. My idea worked. I’ve helped people out — that was my main goal.

      For the people who commented negatively about my looks. Do it all you want. Does it hurt, yes, a little. But whatever.

      My goal is to help people out and have fun. It’s not to look delightful for angry gay guys.

      =)

      Erik

      Jan 16, 2010 at 1:08 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ant
      Ant

      I thought he was pretty funny in the first video. I’m 21 and very inexperienced with men. I totally understand what he is feeling.

      Jan 16, 2010 at 1:17 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lukas P.
      Lukas P.

      @ERIK (#50): First, I commend you for your bravery in putting yourself in the public eye. Being brave is an admirable quality to have. Second, yep, you’ll hear some opinions here. We are all full of them! Take them in stride. You’d be commented on even if you were straight and women were looking on. We’re perhaps more vocal, though! I learned long ago that a thick skin comes in handy, and to always consider the source.

      It’s wonderful to “help people” out, as you put it, but don’t lose yourself and what you’re looking for in the process.

      You’ve been given some heartfelt and a ladvice here on Queerty, but only you can determine which parts to heed and which to ignore. You’re a smart guy, and I suspect that you’ll fare quite well as you begin meeting people and contemplate dating. It’s awkward, overwhelming, exciting and exhausting and more!

      Thanks for stopping by, and please do update us when you can. We’ve all been in your shoes at some point, and just hearing your story brings back lots of memories — some perhaps best forgotten, others treasured. You’ll find your own path. Promise! Keep your perspective and humor intact, okay?

      I’m sure I’m not alone in saying that I’ll be rooting for you! Be well, Erik!

      Jan 16, 2010 at 1:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Heath
      Heath

      FWIW, if I were still in college, Erik would be exactly the kind of thin, pale and adorable nerd that I would be longing to cuddle on the couch with.

      Germany sounds like a good choice. Erik’s looks will be less unusual there. PLAY SAFE lil punk!

      Jan 16, 2010 at 1:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • B
      B

      No. 50 · Erik: “Some guys on here have a problem with the term “straight-acting.” … I think there’d be less of a problem if they realized you probably meant “not acting like the characters in the following piece of cinematic fluff”:

      http://us.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi834076953/

      Jan 16, 2010 at 2:02 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Colby412
      Colby412

      He is 20!!!! I am 40 and still looking for Mr. Right. Welcome to the big gay world! It isn’t easy. At 20 stop worrying about a boyfriend. Get out of your dorm room and go to your campus GLBT group, a gay bar, God’s Love We Deliver, any number of gay social networking sites. You need to make friends. Those are the people who are going to sustain you for years. At 20 you shouldn’t be thinking about a serious boyfriend. From your postings you aren’t ready for a bf. You need to develop yourself into a strong individual who can stand on his own two feet before partnering with someone.

      As for a 20 year old not knowing that the term “straight acting” is offensive I find that hard to believe. Remember that gay youths today aren’t what they were 10 or 20 years ago. If Erik is comfortable to put himself on youtube for the entire world to see I’m pretty sure that he must know that “straight acting” is offensive.

      Jan 16, 2010 at 2:20 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Heath
      Heath

      I’M straight-acting. That’s what I choose to call myself, and that’s what I am. Why the hell should I use a term YOU opprove of? You really have no reason to be offended unless I call you straight-acting.

      Jan 16, 2010 at 2:39 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • W
      W

      For those of you who find “straight acting” offensive, let’s hear an alternative. All I’ve seen sugested so far is “masculine” or “butch” but those really don’t work because they simply imply the opposite end of the spectrum from “effeminate”. They’re caricatures. Some of us, especially among those who aren’t active in the subculture, really don’t act much different from our straight peers, and I’ve yet to hear a description that fits.

      I can certainly understand the “acting” part can imply a facade, and I generally find anyone acting like something their not, be it butch, camp, or dumb annoying, but really if you’ve got something better than “straight acting” by all means let’s hear it.

      Jan 16, 2010 at 3:04 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • NoDoubleStandards
      NoDoubleStandards

      @Erik: I tend to say that I am a geek who is “not in the gay pop culture mainstream” rather than straight acting.

      The truth is it is hard to define yourself when you are dealing not quite fitting in as a member of a greater group that is itself subjected to prejudice when you say you don’t quite fit the mold that they have set up as the standard of what gay should be.

      I had to go through that with race because I never quite fit what was the pop culture version of what being African American should be. I do think straight acting is problematic. It implies something that i used to hear when people would say that I am “trying to act white” because I did not fit black pop cultural norms. I don’t respond to this by saying well “I am white acting”, but instead say that I don’t fit into pop culture images set up by both other African Americans and by the wider culture.

      Jan 16, 2010 at 3:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Travis Wojciechowski, 22
      Travis Wojciechowski, 22

      I can’t even begin to express how DISGUSTED I am with so many of these comments….WTF people–SERIOUSLY! When I read these comments, I became increasingly irate knowing that these people, those who wrote those unnecessary comments, are the ones who continually fuel this fire of adding to the denotation of negative connotations associated with persons of the GLBT communities in US culture; hence, it affects me personally and quite frankly, it pisses me off.

      To ‘Those':

      I have a unique perspective on this subject, for I personally know Erik and have had the wonderful opportunity to experience his brilliance and passion for life the past few years. I can personally relate that he isn’t this coy, unconfident, naïve nor inept image being painted here. He is an intelligent, well-distinguished, well-spoken, confident and motivated individual of whom, in my opinion, is only guilty of using modern technology to express himself while searching for love…for a partner….a companionship and desires to be stimulated physically and metaphysically via mental, emotional and psychological means. Who can honestly say that they desire different when they approach this aspect of their life? Some settle for one, maybe two of those aspects when choosing a partner while, I feel, he is searching for… **I know this idea MAY be a bit risqué for many of the gay community** …all four.

      This message isn’t of biased opinion being that I know the scrutinized at hand, but it’s expressed as to ensure that your flaws in being a descent HUMAN doesn’t go unacknowledged. We’re the only species we know to have existed of whom obtain this amazing ability to think with rhetoric in conjunction with emotion/compassion and you choose to speak with such idiocy??! What a shame and waste of amazing potentials and opportunity for growth. Seriously, WTF! NOT only do those of the GLBT communities have to face the wrath of ignorance beyond the specified community but now, WITHIN??! That’s some STRAIGHT UP, FUCKed up shit…and for what? A message on what you deem as (as one person put so cleverly) ‘fuckable’?

      So proud to know you help represent a part of this community in such counterproductive ways! **And if you didn’t catch that, it was dripping with sarcasm**

      Jan 16, 2010 at 5:20 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • dannyal
      dannyal

      *rolls eyes*
      fine then….. next time I’ll use the word “straight-behaving” to describe myself.. hopefully no one will think I’m acting anymore.

      Obviously the word ‘act’ has several definitions. I wonder why some of you guys are interpreting it in the most negative way.

      Jan 16, 2010 at 5:28 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Steve
      Steve

      @Phil Reese:

      I think you pretty much nailed it. Please send a copy of your post directly to his email, if you haven’t already.

      Step 1 is getting out of the dorm room, socializing with a group of people, and actually having a conversation with at least on of them. During the process, he will meet some people. Some of those will become friends. Some of those, or some of their other friends, or some random guys he meets during that process, will be “tricks”, dates, or even boyfriends. His problem is he just doesn’t know how to start, or have the self-confidence to do so.

      Jan 16, 2010 at 7:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike in Asheville, nee "in Brooklyn"
      Mike in Asheville, nee "in Brooklyn"

      Geez guys, can’t a boy catch a break? 20 was 30 years ago for me and, fuck, it was scary figuring this shit out. And I went to Berkeley, where the first day of class I watched, totally stunned, two guys crossing Sproul Plaza holding hands! It took me until 24-25 to stop thinking in terms of “straight acting” and just being oneself.

      Erik, at my campus in 1980, the student counseling center had an group for gay students to talk about being gay and creating a support group. I had a roll in the hay with most of the group, but three of them I became very close with and shared memorable personal and romantic (and nasty) times. My first boyfriend came from the group, we dated 3 years, fooled around a lot. All these years later, and my college boyfriend and his hubby are of my and my hubby’s best friends.

      (P.S. Berkeley’s, the city, Steamworks was a fun place to work out all that “tension.” Perhaps there is a local gay club — play safe!)

      Jan 16, 2010 at 9:34 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • soul_erosion
      soul_erosion

      @Phil Reese:
      After reading your post I am embarrassed about my own. Too late to retract it, but I can certainly apologize and do so now.
      @Erik:
      Hang in there, kid, you’ll find that man & love you seek oneday and probably when you least expect it. Wishing you success in all your endeavors. It’s easier to see now that you’re the steadfast type that will turn your goals into accomplishments. Be careful out there, it’s a cruel world.

      Jan 16, 2010 at 9:55 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • stuckinVirginia
      stuckinVirginia

      @No. 29

      I’m with you! Be a slut. Worked for me.

      Jan 16, 2010 at 10:55 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • # 20 --- Trish you are an IDIOT
      # 20 --- Trish you are an IDIOT

      ” It’s going to be about running into your college boyfriend and kissing him right in front of his wife and kids, and noone raising an eybrow ”

      Wife and kids ???
      By that time NONE will be closeted

      Are you telling me you want to steal a straight man ???
      Look gays are 5 % on average ( 10 to 15 % in some communities ) of the population

      The rest 95 % are straight
      Go have your show honey and leave the rest of guys alone to us girls !

      In fact I’m pretty sick of ALL overt sexualities
      I just wished everybody would go private

      Maybe that’s why I’m so sickened by the movies at the cinemas lately … too many things in movies with oversexualization of straights or if not that then gay inuendos

      Yep starting 2004 until 2009 and now early 2010 films have SUCKED )=

      Not all of them but many sadly ):

      Jan 16, 2010 at 11:38 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ambrose
      Ambrose

      I’ve had people tell me I’m “straight acting,” and I find the term offensive. What I hate is that people say it like it’s some kind of complement, and like my more immediately identifiable gay friends are somehow “less than.” I say the more fabuslousness in the world, the better.

      And really, most young gay guys I know don’t give a flying fig about that term, and never use it. Why should anyone waste time on such nonsense?

      Jan 16, 2010 at 12:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • James UK
      James UK

      @ No. 57

      What’s wrong with plain gay?

      You could be PLAIN gay.

      Us queens can be GAY!

      How about that?

      Or you could be Abercrombie & Fitch. Those in the know would know and the rest would be … oblivious.

      Jan 16, 2010 at 1:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • zenflo
      zenflo

      @# 20 — Trish you are an IDIOT: Oh, dear Trish.

      You have rarely enjoyed a film since 2004 because they “SUCKED” due to “oversexualization.” For our communal titilation, let us know who gave and received the SUCK, per your own verb. And what exactly was SUCKED on?

      Trish, your CAPS word choices are really oversexualizing this thread! Time for my cold shower.

      Jan 16, 2010 at 1:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • zenflo
      zenflo

      I’m referencing comment No.65 above. The #20 beginning her name is really idio… I mean, confusing.

      Jan 16, 2010 at 1:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • uhaditcoming
      uhaditcoming

      Maybe Erick should do porn!

      Jan 16, 2010 at 8:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lyubomir
      Lyubomir

      all what he must do,is be himself ,what he is in his videos,and all you who give him stupied vain adviced,leave him alone! he is way much better singel,than bad accompanied ! HE is very smart,handsome guy!

      Jan 16, 2010 at 9:28 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Rasa
      Rasa

      Erik,

      Thank you for the purity of your intention… to share yourself with honesty and to open some doors for other people like you are trying to find their way to healthy sexuality and intimacy.

      I’ll bet some of these responses were very challenging to read.

      I have a feeling that you will be stronger for this… You will learn what it feels like to stay tuned into your own worthiness and value — in the midst of petty mud slinging and name calling.

      You will become established in the recognition of your own beauty…

      And you will attract others who share your values.

      I like the things you are thinking about and the things you are saying… at 20 years old!

      You are doing great… And you will continue to make wonderful contributions to this world…

      No doubt about it!

      You know, it really does “take all kinds to make a world”. Some people are basically good and generous of spirit… And others are hurting… and want to hurt others, thinking it will make them feel better about themselves. But ultimately, the petty minded people will crash and burn… And then maybe they’ll learn something about love and self love– and like the phoenix, they will rise!

      Jan 16, 2010 at 10:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Tony P
      Tony P

      The best advice I can give is get yourself out there in college. Join groups that interest you. But the biggest part, just be yourself, let it happen but don’t pursue it.

      Believe me, been there, done that, got the t-shirt. It wasn’t until I developed my Italian-American birthright of essentially not giving a F**k, and being as brutally direct as possible that I just bumped into the love of my life.

      You’re young, enjoy it! But don’t push too hard in trying to find a boyfriend. And as soon as you can, get out of the mid west. Go either northeast (NYC, Providence, Boston) or to the west coast.

      Jan 16, 2010 at 10:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Chad
      Chad

      Many of you guys should be really ashamed of yourselves. Here you have a fellow gay person simply looking for a boyfriend and all most of you can do is post a vile, negative, comment mocking his looks, his choice of words, and every other petty thing. Stop being so catty. Most of you are reading WAY too much into the label “straight acting”. We all know exactly what he means with it, yet many of you are trying to turn it into something deeper, or something extremely negative.

      Instead of being catty and beating down one of our community, how about you try to help him and add something constructive? The negativity that many of you are spewing is NOT helping the gay community in any way…if anything it is hurting it.

      Jan 16, 2010 at 10:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Erik
      Erik

      Erik here again! First of all I think it’s cool Queerty featured me on their page! Thank you for that =)

      Also, thank you to the Leffew family, Travis and the people on here who have shown me support. I appreciate it a lot!

      I was certainly a little surprised by just how negative some of the people on here are.

      It really put things in perspective for me. It made me appreciate people who are kind. It’s easy to be judgemental or mean. I appreciate the people who have taken the time to show me kindness.

      Thank you kindly!

      =)

      Erik

      Jan 16, 2010 at 11:13 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Matt
      Matt

      Erik,

      As you can see, there are many people who are not happy with themselves, so they have to put down other people. This has been going on since the dawn of time, unfortunately.

      Your amazing attitude, kind heart, intelligence, looks, and soul will attract the right person at the right time. I completely agree with the person above who said that your values will attract the right person. In a few years, you’ll probably be the one with a real catch while the haters on here will still be proving that they have nothing better to do than make fun of people they don’t know on blogs. Yeah, real cool, guys. That’s not lame at all. :P

      You’re going to be just fine! I’m not worried one bit.

      P.S. The Leffew family really IS the best. Just amazing guys.

      Jan 16, 2010 at 11:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sexy Rexy
      Sexy Rexy

      Peaches, him ugly.

      Jan 16, 2010 at 11:45 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • NoDoubleStandards
      NoDoubleStandards

      Ugly versus Criticism

      Until his last comment, I was okay with Erik.

      There’s a difference between criticism, Erik, and being mean or ugly to you. Some people here have been mean or ugly. Others have provided you with criticism.

      Lumping everyone together tells me you that you don’t know how to separate one from the other, and that’s a problem. Kind does not mean we all should think the same way about what you choose to put out there. That’s what diversity of ideas is all about. It would be a very boring world if everyone did.

      Jan 17, 2010 at 1:12 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Erik
      Erik

      Hello NoDoubleStandards,

      The constructive criticism I appreciate. It’s another form of being kind. I very well know the difference between rudeness and constructive criticism.

      I know you’re constructively criticising me based on the idea that I don’t know the difference between hate and criticism. I appreciate that.

      Do note that I know the difference and I do not have any problem with criticism. It makes people better!!

      =)

      Erik

      Jan 17, 2010 at 1:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Caspyan
      Caspyan

      Hi Erik, I can’t wait to watch your videos and to get to know you better. Just remember there’s more good people than bad people in the world and nasty people are? just projecting their feelings on you. It took me a long time to find love too, so I know how frustrating it is. Keep being the best guy you can be so when love comes you will be ready.

      Shame on everyone who posted nasty comments – don’t you understand that “Our culture is killing us?”

      Jan 17, 2010 at 2:16 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • kurt
      kurt

      Erik is cool stop bashing him.

      Jan 17, 2010 at 4:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • TheAwfulTruth
      TheAwfulTruth

      he has more balls than Anderson Cooper, Matt Bomer, Zachary Quinto, Ricky Martin and so many other, that’s for sure.

      Jan 17, 2010 at 10:31 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • The Milkman
      The Milkman

      Erik,

      Good for you. I’m sorry you’ve had to see the bile that continues to be spewed at you… most of the cretins who type hateful commentary on a blog would never have the balls to talk to you face to face. Ignore them.

      Every single person on Earth has had to deal with loneliness, rejection, and hateful scorn in their lives. I speak from personal experience when I say that the key to finding a lasting, loving relationship lies in being 100% yourself, 100% of the time. You have to cultivate a rich and satisfying life for yourself before you’ll be able to share it with someone else. Figure out what energizes you, find out what you and only you can do to add to the measure of good in the world, and pursue it tenaciously. Confidence comes from celebrating your unique and authentic self. Once you do that, someone great will notice.

      I don’t particularly like going to bars to pick up men. I never have. It’s a talent I lack. Instead, I looked to other methods of meeting people… classes, friends of friends, parties… that worked better for me. I met my partner of 16 years at the university library, for God’s sake. So don’t feel as though you have to be some fucking Brazilian underwear model before someone in the world will look at you. You don’t. You just have to be yourself.

      There’s a lid for every pot, baby. You’ll find yours. Give it time. In the meantime, get your education, cherish your friends, and don’t forget to love yourself a little. You’ve got more going on than you realize, and that in itself is attractive.

      Jan 17, 2010 at 10:54 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • tom
      tom

      #83 – Wow, very well said and very heartfelt. To bad some of the others on here feel the need to push away instead of welcome. As has already been said, that says more about themselves then it will ever say about anyone else.
      Erik, just my two cents. I might be way off base because you say you want a boyfriend. Let me clarify a bit. Like others on here it was 30 odd years ago when I was your age. But in my mind I wanted the house with the white picket fence scenario and of course the loved one associated with that scenario.
      To me, a ‘boyfriend’ and a ‘lover/partner’ are two different things. So I’m not sure if you’re looking for ‘someone for now’ or ‘someone for as-long-as-possible’. If it’s ‘someone for now’ please make sure you communicate that to the other person to make sure you are both on the same page. The world doesn’t need more borken hearts (yours or anyone else).
      But if I can impart one important lesson I learned. There is a difference between wanting ‘love’ and persuing it with passion. In other words, ‘love’ seems to be more evasive when you try hard. When you try to hard you’ll find someone, but seldom will it be what you want. ‘Love’ is best when it is spontaneous. It simply happens. As has already been said, make yourself visible and be active. It will happen spontaneously, don’t push it.

      Jan 17, 2010 at 11:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Pete
      Pete

      It looks like Queerty goes dead on weekends now , with no new items.

      Jan 17, 2010 at 1:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • LostinSpace
      LostinSpace

      Whaty does Queerty actually mean?

      Jan 17, 2010 at 2:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • schlukitz
      schlukitz

      No. 78 · NoDoubleStandards

      Until his last comment, I was okay with Erik.

      And what comment might that have been, No? Nowhere in Erik’s comment no. 79, the only one he posted that I am aware of, did he use the word “ugly”. In fact, I found his comments to be very respectful and appreciative despite some of the meaner comments that have been posted on this thread.

      Others have provided you with criticism.

      Others, yes. You, not so much. And for your own edification…

      From Dictonary.com:

      crit?i?cism
      ??/?kr?t??s?z?m/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [krit-uh-siz-uhm]

      –noun

      1. the act of passing judgment as to the merits of anything.
      2. the act of passing severe judgment; censure; faultfinding.
      3. the act or art of analyzing and evaluating or judging the quality of a literary or artistic work, musical performance, art exhibit, dramatic production, etc.
      4. a critical comment, article, or essay; critique.
      5. any of various methods of studying texts or documents for the purpose of dating or reconstructing them, evaluating their authenticity, analyzing their content or style, etc.: historical criticism; literary criticism.
      6. investigation of the text, origin, etc., of literary documents, esp. Biblical ones: textual criticism.

      Synonyms:

      Verbal disapproval, Bronx cheer, animadversion, aspersion, bad press, blast, brickbats, call down, carping, cavil, caviling, censure, denunciation, disparagement, faultfinding, flak, hit, knock, nit-picking, objection, opprobrium, pan, panning, put down, quibble, rap on knuckles, reproof, roast, slam, slap on wrist, slap, static, stricture, swipe, vitriol, zapper, attack, verbal assaultabuse, aggression, belligerence, blame, calumny, censure, combativeness, criticism, denigration, denunciation, impugnment, libel, pugnacity, slander, vilification, barb, pointed comment, affront, cut, dig, gibe, insult, rebuff, sarcasm, scoff, sneer.

      As you can readily see, “ctiticism” is generally a term applied to “critique” a literary work, as in definitions 4, 5, & 6.

      When applied toward people, as in definitions 1, 2 & 3, the term becomes a personal attack, as you will note from the many synonyms listed above.

      And for YOUR further edification, there is a difference between criticizing someone, as you have seen fit to do, and offering useful and helpful suggestions as many others have thoughtfully and caringly done on this thread.

      If you are going to play the part of school marm, at least do a little research of your own before “critiquing” others.

      Jan 17, 2010 at 3:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • schlukitz
      schlukitz

      I join Tom in saying to No. 83 · The Milkman –

      Wow, very well said and very heartfelt.

      I just want to join with those of you who have been so supportive of Erik and let him know that we are all rooting for him.

      It’s people like Erik, who are willing to put it out there and take chances that are, more often than not, the winner.

      Those who can do nothing more than sit in front of their computers and poo-poo others for trying are, more often than not, the losers!

      Good luck in your search for happiness, Erik. You deserve only the best in life.

      Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

      Jan 17, 2010 at 4:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • audiored
      audiored

      Probably doesn’t have a date because he calls himself straight acting.

      Fucking lame. It is a disgusting, offensive term.

      Jan 17, 2010 at 4:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • markuk
      markuk

      Erik. Love. Turn off your computer and go to the student union bar. Its gonna be a better start than sitting there moaning on youtube.

      Or…..As Davey Wavey says you might change your mind in the future. Who knows? This time next year you could be swinging from your tits in a harness in the middle of a dark club being worn as a glove-puppet by some moustache called Hank. Lololol.
      Don’t be such an EMO and just get on with it.

      Jan 17, 2010 at 4:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Thom
      Thom

      @oompaLoompa:

      I didn’t call Erik shallow I called all the people calling him ugly and making fun of him shallow

      Jan 17, 2010 at 5:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Wen
      Wen

      Shallow cowards. Im challenging anyone that posted a mean and negative comment to Erik to make a video for youtube, about yourself and your insecurities.
      Then have it posted on Queerty, without your consent. How anyone can even think to attack this brave young man is beyond me.

      Jan 17, 2010 at 5:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • NoDoubleStandards
      NoDoubleStandards

      Erik

      In your prior comment you lumped everyone together

      Wen

      There is no need for “consent” after Erik posted his video to youtubes.

      Schlukitz

      Your lack of awareness is not my problem. The rest of your comment is a neurotic mess.

      Jan 17, 2010 at 6:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Wen
      Wen

      @93 what about my taking my challenge? You have the courage for that? Nah.

      Jan 17, 2010 at 7:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • kyle412
      kyle412

      The problem here is that Erik needs to get off of youtube and get out of his dorm room and meet people. I was Erik 20 years ago. So many young people spend way too much time online and not in the real world. Erik, get off your ass and get to a gay student organization, a gay bar or do some volunteer work that has involves gays.

      Being gay in 2010 is a lot easier today than it was 10 years or 20 years ago. More people your age are out and comfortable in their own skin. Get out there and meet them.

      Jan 17, 2010 at 8:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sean Chapin
      Sean Chapin

      To those that posted derogatory remarks above, we should be supporting each other in our LGBT community, not bringing people down.

      Jan 17, 2010 at 9:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lukas P.
      Lukas P.

      @Erik: Learning to ignore the people who want to drag you down to their level is a valuable lesson, at any age.

      I’m sorry that some people believe their negativism, personal bitterness and jaundiced views are somehow helpful. I can’t apologize on their behalf, and they aren’t likely to take their remarks back, so take from our advice whatever is helpful, let the pissy trolls stew in their own toxic broth, and remember that those of us who are rooting for you (here and elsewhere) look forward to hearing how you’re doing — if you’re willing to visit us on Queerty again.

      You really could get a novel/bio/movie out of your story someday! Start thinking about who will play the part of Erik in the film!

      Jan 17, 2010 at 9:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • RPatz
      RPatz

      Well, who are we to tell Erik to get off the computer when we are all here debating his video? We are all consumed by the online curse, me included, and it has been so detrimental to the fostering of face-to-face contact, communication and relations in the gay community. This kid at least says what he thinks openly, does not hide, and is braver than all of those in Hollywood who remain in the closet and reap the benefits of being famous. Like any human being, Erik is not perfect. Or is that a shocking concept for vain, youth-obsessed, frivolous, nasty gays to understand?

      Jan 17, 2010 at 10:13 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Barney F.
      Barney F.

      Is he a bottom? How big is it? Erik, you won’t get anywhere in life without answering these questions.

      Jan 17, 2010 at 10:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • schlukitz
      schlukitz

      No. 93 · NoDoubleStandards

      Your lack of awareness is not my problem.

      Ah, but your lack of awareness with respect to the English language and the meaning of words is a problem for Erik, as well as the rest of us.

      The rest of your comment is a neurotic mess.

      And your need to criticize Erik, a man whom you have never met and who has had absolutely nothing bad to say about you, is not neurotic?

      Look into your own soul, mister.

      Jan 17, 2010 at 10:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Copman
      Copman

      @YCKTR:
      Hey Ycktr – Great comment ! Erik seems like a nice guy – everyone who insults him is an insecure asshole.

      Jan 17, 2010 at 10:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lukas P.
      Lukas P.

      @Barney F.: Are you being sardonic? Did you forget to take your meds today? {— CLUE; take the square orange ones, not the yellow caplets}
      Does your Mom know that you’re using her basement as HQ for “Hate Central” until you finally pass the GED on your fifth attempt? Have you lost all sense of propriety? Are you proud of yourself for interjecting your prepubescent version of Miss Manners into a public forum?

      P.S. Kindly avoid reproducing. Taco Grande II is offering a free Three Bean Chalupa to anyone in your condition who is willing to be neutered. Order before midnight TONITE and you’ll receive free Nachos and a small Mountain Dew! Refer to offer #0LSRE5211 to redeem your prize.

      Jan 17, 2010 at 10:45 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • kyle412
      kyle412

      @RPatz:

      When I was 20 the internet didn’t exist so I don’t know what I would have done. Commenting on a blog isn’t the same as looking for love. I go out to bars, parties, volunteer, etc. to meet guys. It’s not going to happen online. He needs to get out there.

      Jan 17, 2010 at 10:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • David
      David

      I’d go out with him.

      Jan 17, 2010 at 11:13 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • schlukitz
      schlukitz

      No. 103 · kyle412

      It’s not going to happen online. He needs to get out there.

      With all due respect, I met my Philippine hubby of some seven wonderful years on the Internet and it opened up a whole new world and a host of new and delightful experiences I never would have had the privilege of knowing, were it not for the Internet.

      Trust me when I say that I am looking to make you wrong, but people meet each other every day of the week on the Internet, just like they used to do with ads in the Advocate, etc. It’s not that much different from the “mail order” brides of the old west. :P

      Different times. Different approaches.

      Jan 18, 2010 at 1:58 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • schlukitz
      schlukitz

      Correction: “Trust me when I say that I am NOT looking to make you wrong…” lol

      Jan 18, 2010 at 1:59 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Brit (ahappygay)
      Brit (ahappygay)

      This is horrible to hear, somehow all of these people are the same people who would march at your side for gay marriage yet somehow they can be so cruel and contradicting.
      I’m so sorry Erik.

      To think? that the LGBTQ community can be so contradicting is sad. Labels and titles will only get you so far. Love has no label.

      Good luck Erik. You’re in my prayers and i am sorry there are so many people in this world who are too insecure to help guide you like you guide them on your youtube channel.
      Some would consider me “striaght acting” and I understand how that can be in the gay community. I really hope this comment somehow reaches you, truthfully.
      You are amazing. Cute. Honest. Sincere. Just keep on being you.

      Jan 18, 2010 at 2:02 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • schlukitz
      schlukitz

      I just posted this comment on another thread but, somehow, it seems more appropriate to this one.

      Who hasn’t heard;

      Do unto other’s as you would have them do unto to you

      or the Native American saying;

      Walk a mile another man’s moccasins before you criticize him

      We live in a world of personalities, Allowing someone to be who they are and not making their problem yours is a key to your peace of mind. The time used to criticize anyone else would be better applied with self improvement.

      Jan 18, 2010 at 2:58 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Stuart
      Stuart

      Erik,

      Most of us have been through what you’ve gone through – I would love to have grown up as a 20 year nowadays, but all pain is relative to the era we’re in and LGBT still have a ways to go.

      Keep it up and push through – there’ll be ups and downs – that won’t ever stop. Just put yourself out there and give yourself as much a chance at luck/love/lust as you can.

      As for some of the fools on this site, they could never balls up and say the things they do not hiding from behind a computer screen. They’ve mostly issues that they haven’t resolved and it comes out when behind the security of an IP address. It’s pathetic, and they know it.

      You’ve displayed more intelligence in 2 minutes of video than they have in thousands of comments – do your best to ignore them and consider the source.

      Jan 18, 2010 at 3:08 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • NoDoubleStandards
      NoDoubleStandards

      I laugh at the generalizations by the supposedly “fair minded” and “intelligent” posters complaining about criticism of Erik as if it is the same as the rude put downs. Let’s be clear, those discussing Erik’s looks are rude. Those discussing whether Erik’s approach to dating is the right one are offering criticism. If you can not respond to the difference, that’s a sign of your own limitation.

      Comments like this one especially amuse me:

      “You’ve displayed more intelligence in 2 minutes of video than they have in thousands of comments – do your best to ignore them and consider the source.”

      It takes a no intelligence to generalize all comments as the same. In fact, it is incredibly lazy.

      Jan 18, 2010 at 4:19 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • terrwill
      terrwill

      @schlukitz: Hey there long time….notice that a certain creature no longer pollutes these threads. I think that link to the search for him and the fact that the FBI was investigating him scared the crap out of him…

      Erik: It is perfectly ok to want to hang with a “straight acting” dude. I fit into that catagory, many times when I have gone to a Gay bar for the first time I have been given a hard time, having to prove that I am not a straight guy looking to make trouble. At first, I too was wary of guys who every time they opened their mouth a purse fell out. However most Gay dudes are good people. And it is a matter of getting to know a person and sometimes the guys you think at first you would never associate with can become good friends. Althought the BOQB has been out in force on this thread tossin poo your direction don’t bring yourself down to their level. Unfortunately on these threads we tend to eat our own sometimes (and not in the good way : P )…

      Jan 18, 2010 at 8:31 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Riospace
      Riospace

      I think Erik is hot!!!

      Jan 18, 2010 at 8:40 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jonathan
      Jonathan

      @Erik: Erik:

      Don’t pay one ounce of attention to these sour fags on here -(MrBeautiful) and the other shallow ones who comment only on your looks and their impression of them. We’re not all caustic cunts.

      Gay people can be superficial, shallow and mean. However, there are others who are kind, sincere, and very funny.

      Choose which group you want to belong to.

      Ignore the mean comments, they will end up alone and friendless.

      Jan 18, 2010 at 8:41 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • terrwill
      terrwill

      PS: Erik: regarding those who spewed poo about your looks, I am sure you are much hotter than those haters, usually they are typing their bile from under the rocks where most trolls live……………. : P

      Jan 18, 2010 at 10:06 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • NoDoubleStandards
      NoDoubleStandards

      More generalizations. Wow.

      Jan 18, 2010 at 10:54 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MuscleBoy
      MuscleBoy

      We need to know how big his dick is, if he’s a top or a bottom. Otherwise, who cares.

      Jan 18, 2010 at 11:19 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Phil Reese
      Phil Reese

      Erik,

      I hope you didn’t misinterpret my criticism as an attack. I think there’s been something someone cathartic about being subscribed to this comment thread. There have been a lot of people gushing without really giving advice, a few people being downright bitchy and mean, but a LOT of the guys have tried to reach out, and I’ve really liked the ones that have said “I was Erik 20 years ago” or “I was Erik 15 years ago.”

      I was Erik 10 years ago. The reason why I told Erik to stop calling himself straight-acting and go meet gay people was because that’s where I was 10 years ago–a lonely gay, self-described “straight acting” high schooler who was scared of the big bad gay community but desperately wanting to circumvent it right into a relationship.

      However, I found once I reached out into the community, the community reached back. I didn’t get a boyfriend right way. But I did make friends. From those friends I started to meet boys to date. My first few boyfriends were internet boyfriends: AJ my Freshman year of college (10 years ago next year) who was much older than me (egads, I’m almost as old as he was then NOW), then Chris, then Heath. But I really started to meet good guys to go on dates with through my friends–my gay friends.

      You’re going to have straight women friends, Erik, and they’re going to be awesome people. They really are. But they’re going to try setting you up with guys that have obviously NO compatibility with you. And that’s because they won’t know very many gay men. They think “well, he’s gay, and he’s gay, so they’re compatible!” You will meet your best boyfriends among the groups of friends of your gay friends.

      I met my boyfriend Mikey through our group of gay friends, and I didn’t like him at first! Now we’re together every day!

      I may be wrong about why you use the term “straight acting” to describe yourself–I’ll yield that–but the reason why I used to use it, and why so many used to use it, is because before we bothered to get to know other gay men in the community, we had a very 2-dimensional view of what a gay man was–a caricature–and it wasn’t much like who we saw ourselves as. However, you will find there are MILLIONS of gay men a lot like you in the community. You’re going to meet tons of gay men who, as it turns out, are way way more butch than you–and that’s ok too!

      You should do what feels right, but in the vast experience of most of the gay men I know (and I know a LOT!) you are more likely to find those lasting and awesome connections by being present physically within the community, and joining up with them socially in groups clubs and organizations–and even the occasional bar–than you are to find those lasting connections on the internet. You’re going to find amazing friendships and amazing boyfriends if you allow the community to show itself to you. Sure, you’ll also meet bastards and losers. Like the STRAIGHT community doesn’t have any of those!

      Join your school’s clubs. Seriously. Sure you may think they’re lame or boring or too preachy or whatever. Sure you’re going to get hit on by a lot of people you’re not interested it. Handle it smoothly. Those guys awkwardly hitting today on you may turn out to be your best friend in the future–and you’re wingmen when you’re going in for the adonis of your dreams! The first time I met my best friend I hit on him! The first time that some of my closest friends and I ever met, they hit on me!

      You’re going to have a great gay life. You’re going to have fun, and you’re going to become an awesome, well-adjusted, whole-human being. Just open yourself up to it, and it’ll happen.

      Feel free to drop me a line via email, and we can chat more. When you’re feeling like there’s noone out there, I assure you there is. There are dozens of guys just waiting for you to break their hearts. Trust me! You’re going to be fine if you take a chance.

      Jan 18, 2010 at 11:45 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Phil Reese
      Phil Reese

      @Attmay:

      I guess I am doing a little projection, aren’t I. Though I think I admit that pretty openly when I say ‘I was Erik 10 years ago.’ Why shouldn’t young gays benefit from the advice of older gay men who have been through it and came out awesome? Maybe some of us are giving advice to Erik because we WANT to see him become a happy, well-adjusted gay man. Sometimes that means not just stroking someone’s ego, but saying “hey man, I used to do that, it didn’t work out so well for me. Here’s why.”

      Erik has revealed that the reason he uses “straight acting” is not for the reason most of us would assume. However, to be fair, when someone calls themselves “straight acting”–let’s look at experience here folks–it is used generally in a disparaging way towards other gays. That healthy? I don’t think so.

      As for Erik, I’ve been checking out the rest of his videos, I think he’s going to be just fine. This is a really nice guy. He’s having trouble finding a date now, but he won’t for long. The dating world is like a double-dutch match. You have to sort of watch the ropes swirling around for a while before you can jump in. You stumble and trip a few times. Then you get the rhythm down and it becomes second nature. Erik will get to this point. Right now he’s waiting, watching the ropes. Erik, go jump in. You’re going to trip and skin your knees and elbows, but it’ll only make you better next time.

      Once Erik gets going though–with a personality like that–he’s going to be champ!

      Jan 18, 2010 at 2:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • schlukitz
      schlukitz

      No. 112 · terrwill

      Hey, buddy. Is it not a joy to be able to come on these threads without the fear of a motorcycle cop hiding behind some billboard, ready to spring out at you and chase you down as soon as you drive by?

      Whatever the cause of his disappearance, I am certain that we are all celebrating his absence. lol

      It was getting so bad there at the end, that I had just about lost all desire to comment on this site and was giving it a rest, as I have noticed with some of our other regulars who are conspicuously absent. Hopefully, we will see their return shortly, as they ARE, unlike a certain other individual, very much missed. :)

      Jan 18, 2010 at 5:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • schlukitz
      schlukitz

      No. 111 · NoDoubleStandards

      Those discussing whether Erik’s approach to dating is the right one are offering criticism. If you can not respond to the difference, that’s a sign of your own limitation.

      It would appear that the only “limitation” here, is the one that prevents you from discerning the difference between “criticism” and caring, supportive and useful information.

      But, what would the publishers of a dictionary of the English language know?

      Jan 18, 2010 at 6:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • StudSlut
      StudSlut

      His doing these videos to get publicity. Next think hill have a reality show. Eewww.

      Jan 18, 2010 at 6:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Stuart
      Stuart

      @NoDoubleStandards

      That’s pretty weak.

      I knew exactly who I was talking about, and so do most posters – we’re referring to the those consistent posters hiding behind their computer screens insulting, name-calling, and acting like third graders, not the posters that may have fair criticisms.

      Your assumption that I was referring to anyone else other than those knuckleheads, is wrong. Now who’s generalizing?

      Jan 19, 2010 at 2:22 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Totakikay
      Totakikay

      To Erik,
      I support you. I believe that you are brave and have self-esteem. Most people giving you negative comments are ignorant about who you are. You deserve love and freedom just like anyone else, hugs!

      Jan 19, 2010 at 7:09 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • edgyguy1426
      edgyguy1426

      Isn’t it odd that No. 122 StudSlut knows how to spell ‘reality show’ but not ‘thing’ or he’ll’ ???
      Erik, like others have said, anyone commenting on your looks is ugly on the inside. Remember that when you’re looking for someone. Everyone has their own method when looking for a mate so I can’t judge on the way you’re putting yourself out there. Brave of you.
      It cracks me up when people say ‘get off the computer and get out there.’ Can he not do both?

      J. Twist

      Jan 19, 2010 at 3:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MuscleBoy
      MuscleBoy

      Enough of this dweeb. Go back under a rock now.

      Jan 19, 2010 at 8:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • NoDoubleStandards
      NoDoubleStandards

      @Stuart: Unless you identity to whom you are speaking, it is not an assumption. Jesus, the problem I am starting to realize is that many of you are not that smart.

      Jan 20, 2010 at 1:58 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • NoDoubleStandards
      NoDoubleStandards

      @schlukitz: Exhibit B of not that smart. My problem with the gay community is that there are a lot of light weight brains. I read these posts and I am reminded of that.

      Jan 20, 2010 at 2:00 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • schlukitz
      schlukitz

      No. 128 · NoDoubleStandards

      @schlukitz: Exhibit B of not that smart. My problem with the gay community is that there are a lot of light weight brains. I read these posts and I am reminded of that.

      Atta boy. Way to go.

      When you have reached the point in the debate where you can offer no sane, rational, logical or well thought-out argument to substantiate your position, dismiss and ignore any documentation (see my post no. 88) and resort to personal, below the belt put-downs about people’s intelligence.

      Jan 20, 2010 at 2:56 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Seriously?
      Seriously?

      Honestly, this feels like middle school. You find one teeny tiny part about him that you don’t like, and you all just keep picking at it and picking at it. Do you know when I did that? Seventh grade. Maybe you should all take a lesson from Bambi: “When you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” You seem to forget that he is a REAL person with REAL feelings. Grr.

      Jan 20, 2010 at 12:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ugottabekiddingme
      Ugottabekiddingme

      He is real? I thought all people on YouTube were avatars…

      Jan 20, 2010 at 8:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jim Jasion
      Jim Jasion

      Let me go on record as a fat, 58 year old bitchy queen IN FAVOR of Erik calling himself whatever he damn well wants to call himself online. THERE IS NO ONE WAY of being gay! We don’t all have to be perfectly coiffed circuit-party boix. Oh yeah and there is life and sex after 50. So to all of you who sneer. I hope you choke on your own cynicism. LOSERS!!!!

      Jan 29, 2010 at 6:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • TomEM
    • Trey
      Trey

      The term straight acting is simply a descriptive term I would say for being on the more masculine side of the spectrum. The fact that many have criticized him for using straight acting is appalling and attacking his character, I wonder if any of you have seen any of his videos and seen what he discusses there.

      Aug 23, 2010 at 11:21 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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