We admit when we came a across the below Buzzfeed video titled “If You Could Be Straight, Would You?” we winced a bit, imagining the sad stories and even sadder desires to have been born more “normal.”
But it’s a pleasant surprise to hear the overwhelming pride from so many factions within the LGBTQ community — that even when there are hurdles along life’s road, these fabulous queer folks wouldn’t have it any other way.
Watch below:
Hector Pagan
No never im gay nd damn proud to be !!ð??ð???
redcarpet30
Oh god no. There might have been a 6 month to a year period when I was 13 or 14 where I might have said yes. But certainly not as an adult. It would be like asking me to cut off my own foot, I just can’t do it.
Emery Biggar
No Way!
Dennis Mitchell
No … I am comfortable with who I am …
Mario Francisco Garcia
What in the world is this question aiming for?
Sheldon Siegel
Hell no!
ingyaom
Hell no.
Brian JC Kneeland
I love who I am and who I’m with! No way will i “change” even if I could!
Paul Castilonia
“If I could turn back time” … There’s your answer.
Garry Williams
No way
Avery Alvarez
No. I definitely wouldn’t want to be straight, not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s just not for me.
I feel kind of lucky to be part of this community, despite the hardships.
Larry Belusko
It makes people think of all the great things that come with being gay. Yes it can be frustrating but any life is what you make of it!!
Tab-Eric Varney
Nope. Not back then, not now, not ever. I love who I am. And damn, I love MEN. (y) 😀
Manny Yoko
……… NEVER !!!
mike51295
I am 64 and been out since 1971. I have had a great, not always easy, as an out gay man. I would not want to be straight. I have way more fun than my straight married co workers. My husband and I laugh a lot and enjoy each other’s company and joke and do crazy things.
Alex Williams
If I could choose, I’d be a Kinsey 3 bisexual.
Glücklich
Nope.
Years ago, a gay friend recalled a visit with some far-flung relatives during which one asked him (without malice) if, being attracted to men, he wished he were a woman. He replied that no, he wanted to love men *as* another man. No one’s ever asked me such question but that’s the answer I’d want to give.
DeserTBoB
I’m bisexual, been “out” since the early ’70s. I don’t identify with the post-pandemic generation gay men…they’re clueless. They’re also horrendously biphobic and stupid, as they have the attention span of a gnat, thanks to all these digital toys, and the feeling of invincibility given to them by their screwed up parents, who’d award them with a trophy every time they’d fuck up. Go check out the comments on the “How a 1950s Diary Farmer….” article and see how THAT blew up! Would I want to be 100% gay, which is <1% of the general population. NO. Have I lived the "gay lifestyle?" YES. In retrospect, did I like it? Part of it, yes…the prejudice and moronic denial about HIV in the early '80s, no.
Edward Livingston
NO !
Jorge Antonio Coronel
No, i love eveything about myself and being gay is just so much fun!!
Ralphay Bon'Jui Equality Roura
Hell no! Love who I Amð???ð???ð??ð??
Jayson A Messner
Hell NO !
They’re boring.
I’m proud of myself
jimstoic
If I were straight, I would not be me, so it would not be possible for “me” to be straight. But setting that aside, the answer is still no. As Louis CK so eloquently put it:
“…Gay men have to go through something to own their – who they are. They get beat up. They get ostracized. Whatever they go through, if they survive it, they come out very confident people. They come out having been tested and having to really figure out who they are to get through it, because I think that’s how you get through any kind of a test is by really finding your strengths and believing in yourself. So a lot of gay people who are still standing and still strong, that’s who they are. Heterosexual men have never been put through that test. We don’t get – nobody goes, oh, my God, you like women? And you don’t have to defend it for your whole life. So we’re not so sure about our sexuality. I think that’s one reason why heterosexual men attack gay people or are afraid of them because they’re now confident and they’ve gone through this, but we don’t know who we are sexually. We’re a mess. So I think that that’s why the two sides of the sexual barrier is such an interesting – it’s such an interesting conflict.” (See http://www.wbur.org/npr/128343426/comedian-louis-c-k-finding-laughs-post-divorce.)
In other words, strraight men may be at the top of the social-status ladder, but because they are not forced to really own who they are, they can coast. I doubt I’d have worked on myself nearly as much if I didn’t have to.
My only hesitation in answering “no” is that I would have liked to be a father, and that’s much more complicated and expensive outside of an opposite-sex relationship.
alphacentauri
@DeserTBoB: Well said. I’m bisexual as well and have been out for decades too. I do not like biphobia, or how even today people are in denial about HIV and how it’s still around and other STDs are too and they think that they can take Truvada/PreP and bareback like it’s the 70s or early 80s and they’ll stay “neg” and “DDF”. I don’t use Grindr or any cellphone apps as I prefer actually going out to meet people face to face but very few people do this now.
alphacentauri
@jimstoic: Louis CK is not any sort of expert on sexuality, LGBT people, or gay men.
Ben Davis
No, love our life.
Robert Barber
NEVER,Bored being Gay ..Could you imagine?
Jonny B. Mitchell
No.
Dave Basora
I stopped asking myself that question six months after I came out…33 years ago. Never had any reason to ask it again
Lvng1Tor
nope…never even once thought about it.
M J Martinez Crogan
Nope but I could do without all the fucking drama queens and bible thumpers
Jerry Green
Not for a million dollars!
AxelDC
When I was younger, I definitely wanted to be straight. Who wants to grow up being ostracized by your own community? Coming out and accepting myself where definite struggles into my 20s.
However, now I look at my heterosexual friends and relatives and see their challenges in life. They don’t have it any easier, and their “normal” early lives in no way prepared them for the struggles they would eventually have to face.
Everyone has problems in life, and while yours may seem more burdensome, wishing them away won’t help you at all. Sometimes the challenges you face give you the strength to make your life easier down the road.
Craig Shapiro
Absolutely not.
John Kuehnle
Why even ask the question, do straight men ever want to be gay. You can’t change who you are.
Desert Boy
In the words of Whitney Houston: “Hell, to the no”.
Arcamenel
I would be a straight woman before I’d be a straight man ewww
Jacob Smiley
Hell no!
Wil Chaney
I buried my true self for 20 years! Not even going to lie again!
Danny Ray
Hell No!!!
Morten Jensen
Would not change a thing!
Christopher-Aaron Paul Francis Felker
Nope
dances43
Absolutely not! What the poor deluded straights don’t realise is that being gay is SUCH FUN!
Cam
Not even if they paid me. No!
MacAdvisor
Someone has been watching *Boys in the Band* recently. That is the one of the questions in that movie.
Michael John Bramham
Nope, its a part of what makes me, me.
Sam Oropeza
No, straightness is so boring.
Jonathan Cortez
Yes I would ^_^
Terrence Houlihan
NOT on YOUR LIFE!!!
p3avery
If I could be straight, I would be because I have had some good friendships with other girls when I was a teenager myself and as an adult find being gay is boring and lonely. I have had a maybe one meaningful relationship with another guy. I don’t think being straight is any easier because I see straight guys have difficulty meeting women like I have difficulty meeting guys. Still if I had a choice I would choose to have no sexual desires for anyone male, or female and just live with the other challenges of life like having good friends.
Brian
Gay and straight are invented identities designed to appease little minds who wish to be segregated. Gays want to be segregated. It concentrates the talent which they want to pick up. The biggest segregationists are gay-identifying men.
Zio Ledeux
no
John Smith
God no.
Glenn Cheatham
No!!!!
Arcamenel
@Brian: n!gga what?
Terrance Shinry Johnson
No
Kevin Karns
NO
Jim McHardy
Love my life the way it is
Gene Upshaw
No. I am the culmination of my life experiences and am happy and content with how things have progressed. I have no regrets.
Joshua Decker
eh yea. . . all ive had was dissapointments ever since i started having boyfriends. was much simpler haveing girlfriends cause they actually tell you when they have a problem. . . loudly too.
inbama
As long as I was born in a reasonably enlightened country, I don’t care what sexual orientation or even sex I was born.
ric
Hell To The No. I am very happy the way i am. And the way my higher power made me. Plus with a man there is more to play with LOL!
Amaurys Arias
No, it wouldn’t be me… Being gay is more then who you like.
Dion Daly-Susino
No frigging way ! I am way to happy now
sportsguy1983
Probably because it makes having children far easier and cheaper.
Patrick Crawford
No. Not at all
alphacentauri
@DeserTBoB: I replied to you in the thread about the 1950s dairy farmer.
Dmitri Shakhov
That’s a tough one, but I think the answer is “no.” My only regret is not embracing myself way sooner!
Kevin Wotipka
Not after all the trouble I had admitting to myself that I’m gay. It was just too hard won for me to ever do that.
Lee Bryan
no way!
Glücklich
@Brian:
Where can I send you a bunch of Nembutal, a plastic bag, and some duct tape?
Elmer Siegrist
Noooooot
Dean Alan Simonds
Oh hell no I wouldn’t
ethan_hines
And be responible for bringing another human into this god forsaken world no f*in way! 7bil is enought!
Tyler Alvaro Costa
Nope, never.
Blackceo
Now that I’m great with accepting my full self absolutely not. But in my early adolescence struggling with how people would respond and struggling internally to the point where I contemplated suicide many times, hell yes!!!! If there was a pill I could’ve taken back then I would’ve taken it. Coming through the storm though, I don’t think I am as successful and stable career wise and financially as I am today had I not been gay and had to face that. Being gay and a man of color made me focus 200% more than my counterparts. Just like Papa Pope told Olivia on Scandal and like my father told me….you have to work twice as hard to get half of what they have and so feeling like I had a chip on my shoulder then and through university actually helped me in the long run to be the boss I am today!!! So it was a great character build and I have developed friends and family who are not even blood related that I am so fortunate to have in my life because it is true unconditional love.
I’m sure this answer will probably vary depending on cultural background and demographics though. If I was a gay man living in Africa or Russia or Iran I would probably say yes because of the simple fact that being gay could cost me my life quite easily with no one giving any fucks.
Tommi
OMG no Big and Proud
Richie Eldridge
Oh, No! Mama’s Off Her Meds, Again.
Richie Eldridge
NO
Curty
I thought I knew what it felt to be straight from zero to 16. Then dated a boy from school and then thought I was bi. By 21 I really figured I was gay because I had opportunities to date women and have sex with them and didn’t take offers. I realized I wanted to be only friends with females. So to be honest I wouldn’t have had a problem with being straight but I feel I’m more open minded and thoughtful being gay.
enlightenone
@jimstoic: Exceptional answer! Clearly, you’ve done your soul work.:)
Mike Wasinski
When I was younger, yes. But now, hell no!
Berkleyguy
Absolutely not
ralrod13
I’m proud of who I am and I love my life but I would say yes! Before you all judge this doesn’t mean I am uncomfortable in my own skin. Obviously this is hypothetical. So yup! It would certainly make having kids a lot easier lol
L Daniel E Kaufman
Hehe well we are getting close to scientific isolation of genetics. This seems a scarier question when considering what could be. The whole genetic super race is creating toward possibility.
Peter McKinney
Is Queerty trying to be bought by BuzzFeed before or AFTER HUffPo buys them?
youarekiddingme
@DeserTBoB:
Angry much? I am Pre-Pandemic Generation (as you like to put it) also but I don’t make the kinds of sweeping generalizations that you do. Wow! Post-pandemic men: “clueless…” Really? “…horrendously biphobic and stupid…attention span of a gnat…screwed up parents who’d award them a trophy every time they fuck up…”
What is your evidence? What facts do you have to back up the fact that these people are horrendously biphobic and stupid?
Attention span of a gnat? Are you serious? My best friend’s son has a Phd! How the hell did he get that with such a bad attention span?
You REALLY need to evaluate the statements that you are making. They are just filled with Logical Fallacy’s. If you are trying to argue a point, you are coming off as bigoted and hateful yourself. I understand that the early days of gay/bi life were no picnic, but it’s also not fair to pick on the youth of today either. A little education goes A LONG WAY! If you’re not part of the solution–you’re part of the problem!
John E Ritter
Nope !!!
Vincent Rogers
NEVER!!!!!!
joe
yeah i say yes…i’d probably have a family, kids, no one would ask me why i never married or found a nice girl over and over, it was horrible growing up, that prom would have went well, i wouldnt have overheard my dad making excuses for his son … i could always tell how embarrassed he was, i would have gone to my high school reunions, i was president of my class but after everyone began to get married it just became too hard for me to go…i wont go on but most everyone of you get the idea here..it was so hard, like an extra tax on my life, or some kind of a curse. i speak only for myself i’m not saying any of you are cursed or any less of a person but as for me it has never been a positive part of my life just a struggle
Barry Stradtner
Never
Gunther Hofmeister
I am Gay and thats it. No, no, no.
Jon Mackey
Nope
Jacob Scott
Maybe
Blair Stewart
No. I like being who I am.
Manu Carreño
Hell to the no.
Damon Robbins
No !
o.codone
YES, in a second. yes I would.
youarekiddingme
@DeserTBoB: @youarekiddingme:
My statements to you above were a bit rude and insensitive. I was responding to things that I disagreed with and in the meantime I made statements that were offensive to you. I understand (after speaking with you) where your consternation originates from. I would be as upset (or more so) had I been treated the way you have been.
Good luck and hopefully we will have the opportunity to change at least one mind!
Scott Higgins
nope I’m proud to be gay
Matt Evans
No never
Shannon1981
Nope! No friggin’ way. If I were straight, I’d be a fundamentalist Christian homophobe, most likely. I like to think I’d still have more backbone than that…but you never know.
I’d be a completely different person if I were straight, because being gay is pretty much what shaped my life. Hell, I wouldn’t even have the same career.
Steven Burr
No. I’d still be alone and rejected by women
Donald F Krage
it’s so funny a Mormon asked me this question and I told him hell no!
Giancarlo85
@alphacentauri: Not all gay men think that way. Please don’t generalize whole groups of people. I know biphobia exists, and I think it’s deplorable. It is very hypocritical when gay men demonstrate biphobia, transphobia, ra*c*i*sm and other forms of hatred. But to slap that shit on everyone is inaccurate.
As far as the question of this article… absolutely not. I am happy the way I am and I wouldn’t want to be boring.
@o.codone: Of course. You want to please your fellow republicans who view as an abomination.
Daniel Alvarado
no i love how i am with all my heart
Richard Nodine
This is not a fair question! No, I don’t think so…would be my answer, but it certainly would have been easier growing up straight…I think, but I’m not really sure because I’ve never been in a straight boy’s shoes. Maybe, they have a harder time growing up than I know. This question is impossible to answer from a gay man’s POV. (and vice versa BTW)
Desert Boy
@Glücklich: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Good one.
zeev87
Yes. A queer lifestyle with a black/Navajo race isn’t pleasant. I’m already that black guy… and gay. “Ugh.ewh” is common. When most others think of gay they picture lovely white tender faeries. In me is seen a black darkness of obscurity from a forgotten drunken race. I know no “gay” people, only others following their own interest and intuitions. I thought I would have, but it seems my see ugliness. My gayness attracts old trolls who wish to objectify and subjugate. Anything but gay, I even wish I were bisexual at least. My karma for being mean and believing in God and everything else. I wish I never told anyone I am gay. Didn’t work in college not the workplace, so many missed opportunities. The thing about gay and being gay and around other gays is the sexualized aspect of it all, even this sir, well that’s what gay is about.
Ozzy N Riestra
No. I love myself as me. I wouldn’t have the life I have now and the people I love might not be with me. I was blessed with the life I have. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Jboo
I would, yes.
Tino Dreamerr
no
Ed Hamtil
Nope. I love my lifestyle
darkanser
I’m sure many of us — when first realizing we’re gay — fantasized what would it be like if we were on the other life track — especially since we’re all raised to think exclusively towards hetero-biased future. My first realizing I was gay sank me in a deep depression that didn’t really lift until seven years later when I turned 21. In the beginning I used to think that being gay simply meant who made your dick hard. Through the years, I realized that your sexual orientation gives you quite a different lens on humanity. To not be gay would not only change whom you might be attracted to but also change integral parts of your personality. I eventually realized that not accepting my sexuality would mean not accepting key parts of my personhood which I greatly valued. It’s been a long road but no. I am who I am.
Jacques van Rooyen
No! No! No!
Byrke Cochrane
I remember when my brother asked, wouldn’t life be easier? I replied, Has your life been easy?
Matthew Anthony Smith
To be totally honest Big fat YES
Alan David Smith
i really don’t think that it would have changed my circumstances much. but i see much more of my world as being colored by my epilepsy. even the fact that i wanted children. the thoughy of having siezures passed was more a factor then my gayness ever was. but like everything in life. your views are colored more by your circumstances. i saw my grandmother lose her legs and go blind. from her diabiates. guess witch ailment terrifies me most.
Billy Budd
No. Being straight is so boring. I would like homosecuality to be more accepted and mainstream. But I don’t want to change anything in me.
DutchGay
No. I had 2 girlfriends before I realised I’m gay and once I had my first boyfriend nearly 19 years ago I realised this is the life that is right for me. We’ve been together ever since and married 7 years ago. I couldn’t be happier so there’s no desire to change that.
Sluggo2007
Nope. Never even thought about it and I grew up in a time when you didn’t even mention it.
Brian
Men are better suited to each other sexually than they are to women. That’s because their sex drives match.
If you’re a man who’s sexually interested in men, you can pick men up easily in venues where like-minded men are concentrated – ie the “gay scene”. If you’re a man who is sexually interested in women, you have to court her, wine her, dine her, reward her…and even then there is no guarantee that she’ll consent to sex.
No wonder there is so much more violence and frustration amongst men on the “straight scene”. You have all these sexually driven men competing for a small pool of relatively non-driven women, and it leads to fights and fisticuffs. The only thing that saves straight-identifying men from going completely crazy with frustration is the brothel where they pay women for sex.
Giancarlo85
@Brian: Somehow this clown manages to turn this article into another way for bashing women. He needs to get over it. I know he hates his mom… But if it wasn’t for her drunken mistake, you wouldn’t be here, Jason Smeds/Brian.
Giancarlo85
By the way, domestic violence is a major issue in our community that doesn’t get addressed. So if you think that only happens to straight couples, wrong again.
bottom250
Ohhh God no. I would not want to be with women ewwwwwwww. So many so little time. I love being the Fabulous Queen I am.
bottom250
Ohhh God no. I would not want to be with women ewwwwwwww. So many men so little time. I love being the Fabulous Queen I am.
Joe
No way. I love being gay. I wouldn’t have met the people in my life so far. And the thought of going down on some woman makes me vomit in my mouth just a little bit (Yes, I know, if I were str8, I would like that). No way. I love being who I am.
blackberry finn
00:47 I hate it when Latinos co-opt “privilege” discourse from blacks. Latinos are not discriminated against in the way blacks have been. Even if you’re gay, the “privilege” card being played every 5 seconds is just so tired.
Dev.C
I’ve lived for a period of my life with anxiety that left me unable to access my feelings and made me physically and mentally cripple. It took me years to get rid of my anxiety and to truly regain myself and what I feel.
My homosexuality is a gift, I understand now that it’s big part of who I am and what I feel, and to ignore or wish it away is a disrespect to myself.
As I’m getting older, I’ve educated myself on homosexual history and it’s importance to society/humanity. We are taught to hate our selves, taught to discredit or sexuality and taught to damn or way of life for the respect of heterosexuals.
Straight people wouldn’t have much of what they love about life without homosexuals, so to answer this question firmly , No I would never wish to be Straight.
Giancarlo85
@blackberry finn: You really have no clue what you are talking about. And you know nothing about Latinos.
Michael Jarboe
Not a chance. If I come around again I want to be gay also.
onthemark
Straight? Ugh, no. I fucking hate football! I haven’t owned a car in years. And I can only deal with women for maybe half an hour at a time. Since those are the only 3 things that straight guys are allowed to talk about, it sounds pretty boring.
Arcamenel
@blackberry finn: There are black latinos fyi and this is not the oppression olympics. It’s called solidarity and you might want to try practicing some of it.
biguy
I’d definitely prefer being just straight or just gay, when I’m honest I just get contempt from both sides.
Jaroslaw
A big part of this question would depend on how old you are and where you grew up. It is very difficult being Gay in a religious family in a rural area especially when your family is highly respected. You are constantly aware of how anything you do reflects on them, your church etc. For me, I didn’t find success romantically after monumental efforts, so at middle age, the question is much less important. Although I have to say, I had very few men express interest in me over the years but many more women. So for me, it might be better if I had been straight. That said, I’m aware there are pluses and problems to any choice.
Blackceo
@blackberry finn:
Wow….that was really ignorant. Blacks don’t hold a monopoly on being discriminated against. As was said by others, you are aware of Afro-Latinos right? I am one myself, which I even get shaded on within my own culture because Im very fair skinned. People of color really need to band together and not be so divisive. Trust me, the darker skinned Latinos don’t have it any easier. I think you are referring to the White Latinos, but there’s a wide range of skin hue and hair texture, and other features in the Latino community. Like with any group, the lighter you are the more accepted you are generally. Demographics play into it as well. Go to Arizona and you will see just how much Latinos are discriminated against more than Blacks.
Shaun Adams
never! i love being gay!
AtticusBennett
were it a choice, knowing what i know now, i’d choose to be gay. i love my life. i love our culture. i long ago gave up hoping for a life of culturally-perceived “normalcy” – and gave up wanting it, too.
my life is better because i’m gay. the people i know, the places i’ve been, the experiences i’ve had. the PERSPECTIVES i’ve been given. it’s been a gift. i get to forge my own path.
because i’m gay, i know that The Way Things Are is an illusion and a construct. because i’m gay i’ve been forced to view everything from different angles. i love that i can share my sexuality with other males in a way that straight folks don’t seem to be able to do, with as much ease (at least not yet, in hetero culture). that sex can lead to friendships. mentorships.
and that by immersing myself in these differing gay cultures, my own tastes have expanded. when it comes to men – i like all types. there’s no shallow pool when what “i’m into” is a vast expanse.
i get to be an active part of a culture that is going to change the way the world things.
“heterosexual”, as a term, didn’t come into the cultural lexicon until HOMOSexual did. we change greater culture by existing.
look at the contributions LGBT people have made in art, culture, politics; their being LGB or T was not an irrelevant part of that. Tchaikovsky would not have been the composer he was were he not, nor Sondheim. Alan Turing may not have delved into the worlds of coding.
it has forced a form of critical thinking on me that i likely would not have had had i just been yet another in the long line of privileged white middle-class males.
as one of my friends said “if i wasn’t gay, i’d probably be a complete asshole. you know, like my family”
Fvk847
This is a great question and it really depends on the person. I’m 32 and enjoy my skittles and dancing til the morning on weekends but my weekdays are so lonely. I’m proud to be gay but I wish I was straight; I kinda felt I would have had a white picket fence already with one kid(not everyones dream); I feel like I would have more of a purpose with a family/marriage. but like I said everyone is different; most gays I feel are satisfied with endless grindr hookups/barhopping/circuitfesting and while it can be a lot of fun; it never fills that empytiness that I have.
AtticusBennett
“most gays I feel are satisfied with endless grindr hookups/barhopping/circuitfesting and while it can be a lot of fun; it never fills that empytiness that I have.”
here’s something that some guys refuse to acknowledge – you won’t ever be truly happy as a gay man until you stop wishing you were straight. not the other way around. and the sooner you realize this, the sooner many of you will start enjoying being gay the way the rest of us do.
it’s just so clear that so many of you view being gay through the prism to anti-gay heterosexuality; that you still pine for a life that was never meant for you. until you get real with yourselves, and stop wishing you were straight, you will never actually be truly happy with a gay life.
your mindset has to change before your feelings will. the same way parents who struggle with having a gay child need to make the first step which is “no longer wishing their child wasn’t gay” – you have to stop wishing for what cannot be, and thinking it would be better. without doing that, your life will remain unfulfilling.
enlightenone
@Fvk847: “…I feel like I would have more of a purpose with a family/marriage….”
At 32 and a gay MEN, you can’t have that WHY in 2015 America? Where you live is irrelevant. Move if you have to!
enlightenone
@enlightenone: That’s “MAN!”
Fvk847
@AtticusBennett: that’s amazing advice that my therapist would never tell me; thank you for that!
Fvk847
@enlightenone: I live in a big city…I feel like gay men are always looking for a better thing and when they do…they ghost.
Glücklich
@Brian:
You know what’d keep those nosy slashes in line? A lifetime spent barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen with an occasional five across the eyes.
Do you say “colored” and “mongoloid”, too?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2WC0UbkIZI
jheryn
No way. Not now not ever. I’m bi and get the best of both worlds. I don’t know why anyone would want to be something other than what they are.
Bauhaus
No.
For those on here pining for marriage, home, and kids – what’s stopping you? If that’s what you want, work on making it happen.
Fvk847
@Bauhaus: you act like there is a store that I can go get a guy who’s looking for all these things; have you met a gay guy before???
Glücklich
@Bauhaus:
Hell, marriage wasn’t even on my agenda. Mr. Glücklich just kind of fell into my lap. Face first. *Thinking* about the house part now but afraid I’d have to move to NYC if/when I get promoted again.
Fvk847
@Glücklich: hahahah
Terence
So terrific reading some to the thoughtful responses.
I am older (66) and I remember very well when I fully recognized this part of me. It scared the hell out of me! I started having sex and occasional relationships quite young. I was very careful about not being caught. My dad was a cop who loved to tell the family stories about his experiences that day working as a beat cop in the Los Angeles PD. Some of his stories were about picking up “fruits” and “queers” (a very very negative word in the late 50s/60s). I remember one night when family friends were over and I was sitting right next to him. He was telling one of his stories and he said he could smell out a fag at 50 feet. I was about 14 and I swear I almost burst crying because he made it sound like he thought it was the worst thing ever. It was times like this that I would have changed to straight in a heartbeat if I could. I had a neighborhood friend (we were both very early teens) who I had sex w regularly and we always said to each other that we could stop at anytime. It was just a phase and we would eventually grow out of it. That never happened.
For me, being gay is so much a part of me and I am happy and content knowing that. There are a lot of things about my life that I might change but not this. As others have said more eloquently, it’s been a big part of shaping who I am. The fight against it, the eventual feeling that no, I cannot change it and then finally acceptance. It was a hard slog but I grew to be who I am.
By the way,I finally came out to everyone at age 20, my family was extremely supportive and loving. Forward many years: I am living w AIDS (not great condition) and now and my 97 year old dad calls me regularly to tell me he loves and worries about my health. I am very lucky in all ways.
Glücklich
@Terence:
That is a lovely story. Thanks for sharing. Whatever happened to the neighbor?
loren_1955
Like most here, I would say an emphatic no. Even when I was married to a woman, I realized that being gay I brought so much more to the table of the relationship…not that straights don’t enjoy cooking and decorating, have compassion and more love wrapped up with splitting wood and changing brake pads. During that time my three sons and I had the most fun…now out, divorced, and having even more fun in life as in smiling more than the prior 50 years.
GusBlogging
Nope, not only am I proud to be gay I actually never experienced any disadvantages from being gay (lucky me!!). I’m pretty sure, I wouldn’t have that much fun in my life if I was straight 😉
Gus from http://www.gus-guyblog.com
avesraggiana
No. I love dick too much.
ric
@kthcst: AMEN. There’s nothing like a good stiff one. And i’m not talking about a drink.
silveroracle
Agree with avesraggiana. LOL.
I’m 51 and I’ve been out since 1993.
I’m proud to be gay.
Brian
Gay and straight are ridiculous invented identities. Gay-identifying men are the biggest hypocrites because they claim to want liberation and yet they spend their whole lives segregating themselves and using words like “gay”, “straight”, “lesbian”, “queen” etc etc.
Gay-identifying men actually benefit from segregation because it increases the likelihood of picking up a partner. Sad, isn’t it?
DonW
@alphacentauri: “[They] think that they can take Truvada/PreP and bareback like it’s the 70s or early 80s and they’ll stay ‘neg’ and ‘DDF.'” I don’t like the term “DDF,” and no, PrEP won’t protect against other STDs, but it DOES prevent HIV infection, amazingly well — in the most recent study, NOT ONE of 600 gay men who took it as directed got HIV.
It’s an incredible breakthrough that we’ve been desperately wanting for, 30 years into this epidemic with 50,000 Americans a year STILL getting infected. Why would gay or bi men be so dismissive and stigmatizing of a medical advance that is going to save so many lives? Would you scoff at a vaccine for HIV?
kthcst
HELL NO…LOVE C*^K TO MUCH….LOL
rextrek
If I was asked this back in 1981 when I was 21 — I might have said YES…but as I’ve aged…matured…..NO WAY – Im HAPPY IM GAY / Different / and Unique…….plus – I wouldn’t be the person today If I was str8……I’d probably be Married with 5kids and miserable. Now Im Married to my hubby of 5yrs, together 15yrs…and a dog and cat……Our house is paid for, our cars are paid for…and Life is pretty dammed good.
Giancarlo85
@DonW: The point is maybe people in the community shouldn’t be barebacking so much and should actually use condoms?
Creevie
Why the fook would I wanna be straight LMAO!!!
LibraOracle
Ew! Nature blessed me too much already and if I was straight and pale I would modify my genes to activate my gay gene baby.?
jerkinns
Sometimes I wondered what my life would have been if I were straight. Then I see my siblings and my friends, and I was relieved I’m not!