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SHE HONESTLY LOVES HER

Jane Lynch Had A “Big Lesbo Crush” On Olivia Newton-John, Wanted To Be Her Travolta

Two of America’s most beloved lesbians, Jane Lynch and Conan O’Brien, had a gay old time on The Conan Show last night. They spent a good amount of time talking about each other’s easy-to-manage haircuts, as lesbians are wont to do.

Conan: I think your hair is fantastic.

Jane: Thank you, I feel the same way. I think you have, like, the best hair in Hollywood, so coming from you…

Conan: Yes, I do, yes. Yes I do.

After the initial niceties, they moved onto more pressing matters—namely, how Olivia Newton John turned young Jane gay. “Growing up in the ’70s, she was it for me,” Lynch explained. “’I Honestly Love You.’ I would weep to that song on the radio. And, I just loved her… I named my dog after her. My dog’s name is Olivia. I had a big lesbo crush on her, and I named my dog after her.”

Talk then turned to Newton John’s Grease co-star, heterosexual actor John Travolta. “I loved John Travolta so much that I drew pictures of him,” Lynch said. “I knew every plane of his face. I knew the dimple of his chin… the light eyes with the dark lashes. I loved him, I loved him, but I think what it is is that I wanted to be him. I didn’t want to make out with him.”

So, in summary, Olivia Newton John made Jane Lynch question her sexuality, and then John Travolta confirmed for her that she was, beyond a doubt, a lesbian. Makes sense to us.

By:           Tommy Jordan O'Malley
On:           Sep 25, 2013
Tagged: , ,
  • 3 Comments
    • KJ
      KJ

      That makes me smile, since Olivia was my diva long before I knew I was supposed to have one.

      Sep 25, 2013 at 3:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • AEH
      AEH

      Ha. Ha. Jane Lynch has lesbian hair, and Conan O’Brien looks like a lesbian. What, no tractor joke?

      Sep 25, 2013 at 4:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jwrappaport
      jwrappaport

      Does this remind anyone of Best In Show? “These pom-poms keep Butch’s hips warm in the cold water.” Right, and what about those little drummerette things? “Yes – “”

      Those act as flippers.

      Sep 26, 2013 at 10:02 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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