Two of America’s most beloved lesbians, Jane Lynch and Conan O’Brien, had a gay old time on The Conan Show last night. They spent a good amount of time talking about each other’s easy-to-manage haircuts, as lesbians are wont to do.
Conan: I think your hair is fantastic.
Jane: Thank you, I feel the same way. I think you have, like, the best hair in Hollywood, so coming from you…
Conan: Yes, I do, yes. Yes I do.
After the initial niceties, they moved onto more pressing matters—namely, how Olivia Newton John turned young Jane gay. “Growing up in the ’70s, she was it for me,” Lynch explained. “’I Honestly Love You.’ I would weep to that song on the radio. And, I just loved her… I named my dog after her. My dog’s name is Olivia. I had a big lesbo crush on her, and I named my dog after her.”
Talk then turned to Newton John’s Grease co-star, heterosexual actor John Travolta. “I loved John Travolta so much that I drew pictures of him,” Lynch said. “I knew every plane of his face. I knew the dimple of his chin… the light eyes with the dark lashes. I loved him, I loved him, but I think what it is is that I wanted to be him. I didn’t want to make out with him.”
So, in summary, Olivia Newton John made Jane Lynch question her sexuality, and then John Travolta confirmed for her that she was, beyond a doubt, a lesbian. Makes sense to us.