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DUMB THIS WAY

Kidz Bop Un-Gays Gaga’s “Born This Way”

A thousand years ago, when I was a child, there was a big hit song on the radio called “One Toke Over The Line.” It was about weed. I was five. I sang along. I knew the words. I had no idea what drugs were. My mom didn’t care. Even better, they sang it on The Lawrence Welk Show, too. Nobody bothered altering lyrics. You really need to see it.

Fast forward to right-freaked-out-now. If you dare to walk to through the Valley of Auto-Tuned Child Performers, you could go ahead and watch the Kidz Bop kids’ “Born This Way” cover version video above. But you’ll probably turn it off after twenty seconds. Now go get a child and try to make her or him watch it. They’ll do the same. That’s because every little kid already knows that Kidz Bop isn’t the real deal. They’ve already learned all the lyrics to the real versions. It’s for parents who’re freaked out by contemporary culture. Call it Now That’s What Somebody Who Worries Too Much About Children Calls Music!

So the news that the latest installment of the dumbed-down children’s music franchise strips all the “drag” and “queen” out Lady Gaga’s song isn’t much of a shock. It’s just idiotic, another attempt to “protect” children from something they never needed shielding from in the first place. If anything, grown-ups should try to protect their children from wanting to twerk it in a Kidz Bop video.

By:           Dave White
On:           Jul 24, 2011
Tagged: , , , , ,
  • 17 Comments
    • Vidur
      Vidur

      Yes – let’s keep all reference to God, turning this, basically, into a Christian pop song.

      Oh well, I can take solace in the fact that *maybe* the 5 people who listen to this bullshit are less ignorant than the one’s who put it together.

      Take a look at their other videos (if you dare); promoting senseless partying (at fuckin’ 12 years old)? Check. ANY form of heterosexuality, regardless of the sexual undertones present in the lyrics? Check. Glamorizing an unattainable, celebrity lifestyle? Check.

      But heaven forbid they know what a bi, gay, lesbian, or trans person is. Especially at a time when, I assure you, at least one of the kids in the video is questioning their gender or sexuality. Way to be told it’s not normal, or worthy of even mentioning.

      Gah. RAGE.

      Jul 24, 2011 at 7:31 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jcknck
      jcknck

      I kinda liked it – at least they are talking about accepting yourself for who you are. plus, im a sucker for kidz bop

      Jul 24, 2011 at 8:40 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cole
      Cole

      Ugh. Damn you, Queerty. I’m fairly certain the playback and reproduction of that video violates the Geneva Conventions.

      Jul 24, 2011 at 9:24 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Robbie K.
      Robbie K.

      I liked it :-)

      Jul 24, 2011 at 12:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Thrutch
      Thrutch

      Yay, lets all butcher a message of self acceptance.

      Jul 24, 2011 at 12:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • AladinSane
      AladinSane

      Can’t be any worse than the original…

      Jul 24, 2011 at 12:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kev C
      Kev C

      Mom! Dad! I’m a lesbian!

      Damn you Kidz Bop!

      Jul 24, 2011 at 1:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Paco
      Paco

      No. Just…..no

      Jul 24, 2011 at 1:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • dellisonly
      dellisonly

      Please tell me whoever wrote that song for Gaga is suing the Kids Bop industry for misrepresentation of an artistic property

      Jul 24, 2011 at 1:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MBear
      MBear

      Wait, so they took a gay anthem and made it about jesus & religion?
      not only is that probably fully illegal, but purely distasteful, unethical and amoral

      Jul 24, 2011 at 2:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MBear
      MBear

      @Vidur: You can tell the gay ones because they dance better. LOL

      Jul 24, 2011 at 2:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bkly
      Bkly

      This version of Born This Way can be applied to queer youth just as easily as the Gaga version can. In my opinion, the song is itself is still a beautiful piece. What kind of bothers me is the video, honestly. All I see are a bunch of privileged children in trendy clothes. To me, that is what ruins the message more than the alterations to the song lyrics.

      Jul 24, 2011 at 3:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • nsomniac
      nsomniac

      I’m going to have to disagree with Queerty on this one. First it’s cute and second, I’m one of those who don’t think my niece or baby cousin or nephew need to be listening to artist like Ke$ha and a few other artist in the first place. There are a large number of artist who are targeting the adult community not the kids. One might argue that the kids are listening to the music not the lyrics. I have heard kids spouting out awful things from rap artist, Ke$sha and multiple others. So they don’t understand those lyrics you say. Well I remember myself as a kid VERY curious and always wanted to understand what things meant. I would go and start reading to understand. Maybe not all kids are like that but there are a large number of kids who are. I don’t think they are doing a bad thing. Now I’m not a GaGa fan like so much of the gay community is I don’t even know her music so please don’t start slamming me. I just think it’s important that in this day and age we should still let our kids be kids. Let them grow up on their own. We were influenced as kids by Madonna I do remember. I don’t remember Madonna singing a song about doing cocaine and smoking marijuana and drinking. She did quite a few things on sex though. I don’t know I’m just rambling but I don’t want my younger family under the age of 11 listening to things they shouldn’t be so go for it “Kidz Bop” keep up the good work for our youth who are still growing.

      Jul 24, 2011 at 3:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • LukeJoe
      LukeJoe

      Pretending to be outraged about this also requires pretending that Lady Gaga’s version of Born this Way is actually an empowering thing for gays instead of a campy Madonna rip off that capitalizes gay affections while throwing around racist language and mangling the terminology and concepts of our own civil rights movement. Translation: I kind of like this version more.

      Jul 24, 2011 at 8:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Aaron
      Aaron

      Well, Kidz Bop ruined yet another popular hit. Suprised?

      Jul 30, 2011 at 1:38 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Whoa.
      Whoa.

      @MBear: Well said. I agree with you 100%. Kidz bop messed this up bad.

      Jul 30, 2011 at 6:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Don
      Don

      Regardless of artistic integrity or disinfranchised segments of our population finally finding a voice to rally around only to have it stripped of meaning by corporate America, this is bland, vanilla-esque CRAP. I agree that some of the songs that are popular right now aren’t “appropriate” for an elementary student to choose on karaoke night, that doesn’t give the corporate machine a right to co-opt a well crafted song and gut it. If your child is old enough to change a radio station voluntarily, then they are going to be exposed to words and ideas that may make their parents squirm. To the parents: Mom & Dad UP and help your child make sense of a crazy world, after all, that’s what you’re here for.

      Aug 10, 2011 at 10:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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