The judge’s panel on the next season of American Idol will be a star-studded affair with emancipated diva extraordinaire Mariah Carey, raptress and alleged Romney supporter Nicki Minaj and Mr. Nicole Kidman Keith Urban stepping in to fill Steven Tyler’s shoes and Jennifer Lopez’s Louboutins.
Mimi, Nicki and Kiki — we’re trying that one out — join perennial pundit Randy Jackson and hostess with the mostest Ryan Seacrest for the show’s 12th season.
The announcement of the three new judges ends months of speculation that saw names like Kanye West, Adam Lambert and Katy Perry being considered. While the show will never reach the heights — depths? — of Paula Abdul’s wack-a-doodlry and Simon Cowell’s limey cruelty from the first few seasons, with Mimi and Nicki on board there’s bound to be plenty o’ crazy going around.
And maybe Urban will pull a Britney on X-Factor and turn out to be the biggest bitch of them all. You don’t stay married to Nikki Kids this long without sharpening your claws on that flawless, porcelain skin.
Fox reportedly spent a pretty penny securing the new judges, with Mimi earning $17 million, Minaj $8 million and Urban $4 million — we’re pretty sure it’s stipulated somewhere in Mariah’s contract that, in addition to an all-white dressing room and the same gel filters used on Dynasty, she make an absurd amount more than both of her co-stars combined. The network will see if the gamble pays off when American Idol returns in January.
Photo: Michael Becker/FOX